Marlin
03-16-2006, 08:34 AM
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce
Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said.
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan
Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
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A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
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GAS PROBLEM
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have thisproblem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've passed gas at least 20 times since I've been here in your office; but you didn't know because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see menext week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now when I pass gas, although still silent, they smell terribly."
"Good," the doctor said, "now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,"
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said.
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan
Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
GAS PROBLEM
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have thisproblem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've passed gas at least 20 times since I've been here in your office; but you didn't know because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see menext week."
The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now when I pass gas, although still silent, they smell terribly."
"Good," the doctor said, "now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."