berto64
09-09-2008, 04:13 AM
This is even funnier when you realize it's
real! Next
time you have a bad day at work think of
this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it
to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana
,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest. Needless
to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your
bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know
you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought
I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so bad
after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As
you know, my office lies at the bottom of
the sea. I wear a
suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year
the water is quite cool. So what we do to
keep warm is this:
We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it
down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to
the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and
I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wet
suit. This floods
my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only
made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the
hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony, I
realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked
up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I
don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish
couldn't stick to it, however, the crack
of my butt was
not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an
itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack
of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my
dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers,
were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing
in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before
I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass
helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me
a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon
as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days
because my butt hole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at
work, think
about how much worse it would be if you
had a jellyfish
shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
'I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself,
is this a
jellyfish bad day?.
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad
day!!!!!
real! Next
time you have a bad day at work think of
this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it
to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana
,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience
contest. Needless
to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your
bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know
you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought
I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so bad
after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job. As
you know, my office lies at the bottom of
the sea. I wear a
suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year
the water is quite cool. So what we do to
keep warm is this:
We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This
$20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it
down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to
the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and
I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wet
suit. This floods
my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a
Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a
sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only
made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the
hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony, I
realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked
up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I
don't have any hair on my back, the
jellyfish
couldn't stick to it, however, the crack
of my butt was
not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an
itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack
of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my
dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were
unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers,
were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing
in-water decompression
stops totaling thirty-five minutes before
I could reach the
surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass
helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me
a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon
as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days
because my butt hole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at
work, think
about how much worse it would be if you
had a jellyfish
shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself,
'I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself,
is this a
jellyfish bad day?.
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad
day!!!!!