Dang Woman any how!!!

[Big ugly]

I am out mowin the grass yesterday bout 7:45 or so. Was just about done when I noticed the wife walkin out holdin my old Crossman 760 air rifle. I figured some poor critter was about to get a wallop from Mrs. Ugly. I go about my buisness mowin away with the MP3 blarin out some 70 rock not a care in the world.

I get done with the mower and grab up the weed hacker and I am goin to town. I got grass and weeds flyin all over the place and I am jammin on some killer tunes. The wife had went around to the other side of the house so I all but forgot about her till I get the horrible super stinging sensation in my butt.
I mean fellers this felt worse than any shot of medication you have ever recieved in your life.

I throw the weed hacker on the ground and I sling the MP3 player to god only knows where and I reach for my stinging butt. I pull out a little red feathered dart from my butt. One of these little buggers.

Aparently she found em while goin through some boxes. I lover her, I lover her a whole lot but damn it man that woman has a mean since of humer.

[Mosin_Nagant_Fan]

LOL, I think she's trying to tell you something. You might want to double up on the boxers, next round. XD

[Suwannee Tim]

I've never met her and I like her.

We used to have a mean old neighbor who mowed his grass with a riding lawnmower. We would climb up on the garage and shoot at him with our slingshots as he turned to go away. He would swat and cuss and get the bug spray and hunt for the wasps or hornets or whatever kept biting him. He never found them. Are you a mean old man? Maybe that's why your wife shot you.

LOL, I think she's trying to tell you something. You might want to double up on the boxers, next round. XD

I don't think doubled up boxers will help. Maybe an iron plate in your briches.

[Popgunner]

Sounds like your wife's a real pain in the butt:)

[Pistolenschutze]

It might have been worse, BU. She might have found some old shot shells loaded with rock salt instead of darts. ;)

[dianalv]

I don't know her, but I like her! A mean sense of humor in a woman keeps a man on his toes. Or at least wearing padding in his skivvies. (:

[Alpo]

Y'all have interesting outlooks. I once almost broke my mother-in-law's finger taking a cap pistol out of her hand, after she stuck it in my ribs, for a joke.

You don't point a gun at me. Real gun, toy gun, bb gun, squirt gun, loaded gun, empty gun. Don't matter. You don't point a gun at me.

You damn sure don't shoot me.

That was my wife - me and her would be having a serious talk.

[red14]

Y'all have interesting outlooks. I once almost broke my mother-in-law's finger taking a cap pistol out of her hand, after she stuck it in my ribs, for a joke.

You don't point a gun at me. Real gun, toy gun, bb gun, squirt gun, loaded gun, empty gun. Don't matter. You don't point a gun at me.

You damn sure don't shoot me.

That was my wife - me and her would be having a serious talk.


I heard that! I'd kick my wife's butt, at least until she woke up.:D

[AL MOUNT]

Yer lucky she didn't wait until you turned around..... :eek:

Just think if she had rubbed that dart on some poison ivy..... :eek:

[pinecone70]

Wow, women are mean. LOL!

[Pistolenschutze]

Just think if she had rubbed that dart on some poison ivy..... :eek:

Or a little Cayenne . . . :D;)

[bcj1755]

At least she didn't hit you in jimmies:eek::p

[Big ugly]

Yup she cackled and Heee Haaawwww'd for a couple of minutes there. I am just glad that old 760 has bad seals cuz that could have been disasterouse. It stuck to the hilt in my butt cheek.

[glocknut]

Sounds like your wife's a real pain in the butt:)

That gives me an idea....

BU

The next time you get a chance.... put the square peg in the round hole. THat's payback she will never forget!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D

mike
gn

[45nut]

Once again, GN dances where Angels fear to tread! :D :D :D :D :D

[Big ugly]

LOL:D:D:D:D

[kutaho]

She didn't read the guinea pig post by chance.?
:D:D:D
I mean 'ouch'

[Kieran McCaig]

While I don't think what she did was right I'm laughing because it was you and not me BU

[tim.sr]

BU that a good one

[Suwannee Tim]

Y'all have interesting outlooks. I once almost broke my mother-in-law's finger taking a cap pistol out of her hand, after she stuck it in my ribs, for a joke.

You don't point a gun at me. Real gun, toy gun, bb gun, squirt gun, loaded gun, empty gun. Don't matter. You don't point a gun at me.

You damn sure don't shoot me.

That was my wife - me and her would be having a serious talk.

Yeah, but it wattn't you Alpo and it wattn't me. It was Big Ug. See, it is funny.:D

[Crpdeth]

LMAO!

I'd have to ignore my friends here who think she should receive a stern talking to, or even a good ol' spankering... I love a mean spirited, full of life, woman and as much as I hate needles, etc, it sounds like your wife is full of life and spirit!

Tell her that I said thanks for the huge grin on my face and that, in retrospect, there would be nothing wrong with a good spankering after all.


:D:D:D

[Big ugly]

I'll let her know. I am telling you I married the devil. She is pulling stuff like this all the time. I enjoy a good practical joke like the the other feller but this woman has a mean streak.


Here is another one she done to me, Here recently before I got laid off I was working for a plastic Extrusion plant here in K'ville. I had burnt a couple of CD's for the work day. You know music to work to. So I grab a couple of these CD's and one of them was a blues CD that I put together. I plug the CD in and Crank it up and go off down the line to the front of the machine and start tearing the die off. I'll be damned if the first song on the CD wasnt "Its Raining Men".

[Artemus]

Can you say Domestic Violence?

[Mr. Nameless]

LMAO!

I'd have to ignore my friends here who think she should receive a stern talking to, or even a good ol' spankering

Aint nothing wrong with giving 'em a good spanking ;)

[Bobitis]

As she's broken your nose in the past, maybe she considers it a 'Love' pat.:D:D:D

Sounds like she's lookin' for sum temption.:eek::D;)

[ponycar17]

After these past few posts... First, Ugly Senior shoots you with shotgun bean bags and now the Mrs. shoots you in the arse with a BB gun dart... :D

You've got a redneck comedy routine in the making and you're not even having to use your imagination!... :D You've got a career in the making! :D

[JLA]

Revenge is sweeter than pancake syrup. I think the favor should be returned. Get her in the left cheek and when she turns and charges you give ger a kinky new piercing...:eek:... This is the type of Loving relationship the Wife and I exercise. I wouldnt trade her for the world:D

[Thomas_1]

I'm just glad you didn't decide to post pictures of your injury!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Big ugly]

It was a thought, I got a bruise on my butt that looks like a target. with a puncture hole in the middle and I have to sit all Caterwampuss cuz my arse hurts on one side.

[JLA]

caterwampuss. Thats a funny word... :D

[kutaho]

caterwampuss. Thats a funny word... :D
Thats an old phrase:p

[JLA]

Thats what my wife said. She said her dad used to say that. Hell I aint never heard it...:confused:

[Maximilian II]

Wow, BU, I thought my wife was mean!
Actually, I hope she never hears about this, I'll be next!
My wife is a...I can't spell it right...Phlebotomist? Anyway she draws blood for a living. When we first got together she used to love the big ropey veins in my forearms. (I used to do some bodybuilding.) I thought that was cool till I found out she was just wanting to do a "stick" on them!

[ARB]

Don't forget that tetnuis (sp.?) shot. You're just got stuck twice!

[Crpdeth]

Aint nothing wrong with giving 'em a good spanking ;)

SPANKERING! Spell it right! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D


*standing in line for mine*



:D:D:D:D

[pinecone70]

Heehee!

[Crpdeth]

<---- Hankering for a spankering!




:D

[flannelman]

Aint nothing wrong with giving 'em a good spanking ;)

It is even a law here in Arkansas that you can spank your wife on Wednesday afternoon!!:D

[Crpdeth]

It is even a law here in Arkansas that you can spank your wife on Wednesday afternoon!!:D

LOL, you have to be married? I love AR.... :D:D:D:D:D:D

[flannelman]

LOL, you have to be married? I love AR.... :D:D:D:D:D:D

I'm not sure bout that. Common law marriage might qualify!:D:D

[Country101]

Now wait a minute here! You cant spank your wife except on Wednesday on the courthouse lawn. And the stick cant be no bigger than your thumb! Make sure to pick a good green one that wont break. I'd take my wife to the courthouse, but I aint found a stick that would hold up to her butt.

[Big ugly]

She shot me in the back of the head with a paitball gun one time, She shot my brother in the boyz the same day.

We got into airsoft guns and my friends and I bought us several diffrent kinds. Pistols, shot guns, Semi and full auto. Any way she was in the kitchen and I was shootin into the kitchen and the were bouncin off the walls and hitting her. Well we all left and she stayed at home with my brothers woman. We got home and walked through the front dooor and she and Megan were loaded for bear.They unloaded three full outos and ! semi auto at about 10 feet away. We looked like we got assulted by a swarm of yellowjackets.

[Country101]

DERN! Your wife is mean. Least she can shoot. :D

I think that's a good thing....

[glocknut]

Well we all left and she stayed at home with my brothers woman. We got home and walked through the front dooor and she and Megan were loaded for bear...

Now see this is where the story SHOULD have gone on to describe some kind of Lesbian scene...but instead ends with comedic violence... :(:(:(:(

mike
gn