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need help deciding on a gun for the wife to carry

5K views 43 replies 21 participants last post by  gvw3 
#1 ·
looking for a gun. going to give the short list of requirements first then you can read the book explaining the why behind the requirements if you want.
prefer under $400 but $600 absolute MAX for a winner
must must must be very low felt recoil
must be reliable (obviously)
semi automatic
prefer a caliber larger than .22 but am open to it if it fits the bill
have no problem with a full size pistol. dont want a subcompact. it will be a purse gun (big purse)
must fit small hands
hey guys. my wife told me she wants to start carrying, which makes me very happy but she doesnt do pistol shooting because she has very weak wrists and cant handle the recoil. she wants a semi-automatic, not a revolver. and i would personally prefer something bigger than a .22 for her to carry and she doesnt want me to get one of the kel-tec pmr30s because i had such a bad time with one of their pf-9s awhile back she doesnt want to risk another bad gun from kel tec. she prefers a full size pistol because she is going to carry in her monster purse. this is also good because a bigger heavier gun will have less felt recoil. she also demands i keep the price low. she didnt say how low but i dont think she would be happy if i spent more than 400 and im sure she would go berserk if i spend over 600. so what do you think would be a good fit? she also has small hands so something in a single stack would probably be best.
 
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#2 ·
im thinking REALLY hard about a hi point actually... i know i KNOW! that is the gun everyone loves to hate because its so cheap but i had one in 40 S&W and never had any issues. i sold it to a friend and he has had it for about 6 years with no issues and with thousands of rounds down range without much trouble to speak of. and their customer service/warranty is easy to work with too (i busted the grips). much easier than kel-tec or taurus. my dad has a 9mm hi point. i think im going to put it in my wifes hand and have her shoot it and see what she thinks. they make a 380 if thats too much.
 
#7 · (Edited)
how will that help save her life in a self defense situation?

If it were my wife, and my wife just got here CC permit last week so we are in this process of settling on a gun for her, I would be focused on:

  • what fits her hands and she is comfortable with.
  • can handle safely, operate the slide and clear FTFs in a crisis
  • fits her style of carry, IE, purse, waistband or other carry
  • minimum caliber size to actually stop an attack not just piss an attacker off

You say she has weak wrist. This is a red flag to me that maybe she would be better suited to a revolver. If a shooter fails to support a semi auto handgun with sufficient resistance, you will have failure to cycle and jams. This is known as "limp wristing" . This is not a put down on your wife, just something that if you know about, you need to take into consideration.

Color and price are not even in my decision making process when choosing a gun for her.
If the gun she settled on cost $800, I'll pay it. Its my wife and I want her to be safe.
Can she operate the slide with her support hand? How about the slide release button location? Can she manipulate that with her dominant hand? Mag release?

BTW, I think we are looking at the new Ruger LC 9, striker fire gun, the trigger is much improved
She took the class with my G26 and sailed through the shooting part.
 
#10 ·
let me rephrase and clarify

the color of the gun out of the factory is insignificant to me. i can plastidip/powdercoat it whatever color i want. i just said if it is pink already and is a good fit then its a plus

my wife's safety is paramount. to me a glock is the cat's meow. there is the single stack glock 380 out there now and that is what she will have if all else fails. its simple and fool proof and reliable. glocks seem to run in the $600 range nowadays which is why i put that at the top for budget. the wife told me 400 max but if i dont find her a gun for that much or less she will just have to be mad at me for spending more than she wanted but be thrilled with the glock. but i also want to entertain other potential candidates in case there is one that fits better. i would prefer a gun with a thumb safety for her as well but not required.

i also should have clarified on the weak wrists. i have watched her shoot. she has shot my glock 21 with 45acp +p and with a 10mm conversion on +p as well. no limp wristing, she handles it well. BUT it hurts her wrists and therefore she does not LIKE to shoot them at all so she doesnt. therefore she never shoots a handgun and her aim is horrible and she is unfamiliar with the weapons as a result. however she is more familiar with and is a better shot with any of my rifles than i am. she usually shoots the 10/22 at the range while i shoot the glock. i want to get her a handgun that does not hurt her wrists to shoot so she will practice with it more. more practice, better aim, better familiarity
 
#18 ·
Academy Sports for starters. The Glock 42 weighs in at 13.76 oz. empty. The Ruger LCP .380, weighs in at 9.4 oz. empty. The Ruger LC .380 weighs in at 17.2 oz. empty. The heavier the gun the less felt recoil in the same caliber. This weight method works with any caliber gun.
 
#13 ·
yes, they are cheaper than the standard glocks! My LGS had them for $340 w/military/LE discount, I think they were right around $400 even, plus tax, regular price.

Only issue is if you limp wrist, it will not eject the spent round (as with any semi-auto) but it is a very nice shooting pistol! Nothing for recoil, it's a dream to shoot.

There's the Glock 43 just came out also, it's a little bit bigger and in 9mm, but roughly the same gun.
 
#14 ·
You are doing the right thing. Let her try the 9 mil and see how that goes. If she can handle it I would have her try the S&W Shield, Ruger SR9, or the Bersa Thunder.

One other idea is to look for a used Ruger P95. They don't make them anymore but the slide is very easy to pull. My wife went through all the guns at my LGS and that was the easiest for her to pull. She loves that gun.
 
#15 · (Edited)
Add the full size XD9 to her list of guns to try. You can purchase it in the "Essentials" package for under $400.

My wife is small and petite too, she started out with the first gen SR9 then an XD9 subcompact. She also has a couple of Glocks, one being a G22. At first, 40 cal was more than she liked but she has adapted to it well.

If revolvers are an option have her try an SP101 with 38 special loads.
 
#16 ·
9mm Makarov, about $250. A bit more power than 380. Not too big or small. Ammo is not that expensive or hard to find, not likely at Wal-Mart but any decent gun shop usually has a fair selection. Kinda like Walter PPs country cousin,a bit heavier, not quite as pretty but gets the job done with no drama. These guns are dead nuts simple, surprisingly accurate and stone cold reliable.
If you desire ammo that may be found at the Wal-Mart type stores it can be had in 380........personally the 9mmMakarov round is the preferred choice, the Russian ammo is cheap for practice and there are some good SD options these days, Hornaday critical defense, Buffalo Bore........The Mak is one of the best values for a SD pistol.
 
#19 ·
Good approach I absolutely agree that she has to like it and shoot it. Whatever you get, she has to shoot it, especially if it's a semi-auto. Carrying a gun doesn't make her any safer. Being able to use it does.

A semi may be easier to shoot repeatedly than a DA revolver, but they take more practice because there are more things to remember to do to make them go bang the first time. Practice is therefore that much more important with a semi. Load a DA revolver and pull the trigger and it shoots. With a semi you load a mag (takes some hand strength), insert the mag, rack the slide (get something that she can easily rack), put the safety on or de-cock to carry it, then take the safety off or cock it then you can fire. None of this is a reason not to carry a semi, or is it intended to be negative. It just means that you have to be able to do these things and remember to do them.
 
#20 ·
Good approach I absolutely agree that she has to like it and shoot it. Whatever you get, she has to shoot it, especially if it's a semi-auto. Carrying a gun doesn't make her any safer. Being able to use it does.

A semi may be easier to shoot repeatedly than a DA revolver, but they take more practice because there are more things to remember to do to make them go bang the first time. Practice is therefore that much more important with a semi. Load a DA revolver and pull the trigger and it shoots. With a semi you load a mag (takes some hand strength), insert the mag, rack the slide (get something that she can easily rack), put the safety on or de-cock to carry it, then take the safety off or cock it then you can fire. None of this is a reason not to carry a semi, or is it intended to be negative. It just means that you have to be able to do these things and remember to do them.
Some of the struggle has been removed with the striker fired guns. No safeties to worry about, just point it, and pull the trigger. The striker fired pistols usually have a much lighter, and shorter, trigger pull due to the fact that the gun is usually at half cock at all times. A single stack mag isn't that hard to load, but the slides can be difficult for some to utilize. It's true that the revolver might be a better choice for some, but you are usually very limited to the number of rounds you can carry. And you will have to contend with a fairly long, and some what heavy, trigger. http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/woman-hiding-kids-shoots-intruder/nTm7s/ We all remember this story!
 
#22 ·
You are the safety. Even if the gun has a safety, you are still the better safety. Don't put your finger on the trigger until you are ready to shoot. Safety on, or off, or no safety at all. Keep your finger off the trigger!
 
#26 ·
When my wife decided she wanted to begin to carry I took her up to the gun shop. Originally I planned on surprising her with the newest latest greatest model on the market. The more I thought about it that was wrong on my part. This is a gun she will defend herself with if the need arises. It should be her choice on what is comfortable for her. That being said I had my requirements for whatever it would be. It must be reliable and something she can handle. I let her do the talking with the salesmen and he let her try out a mix of things. She ended up getting a S&W Shield 9mm.

The slide was a bit tough for her at first but after 500+ rounds it's as smooth as can be. She is hitting quarters with it at 15 yards. This is her edc and she knows her weapon very well for being in the first few years as a shooter.

I ended up buying her a purse MADE for conceal carry. They run anywhere from $100.00 to $400.00+ What sets these purses different than the one you buy at a fancy woman's shopping place is it has a pocket for a holester. I did not want to see her carrying a loaded firearm loosely in her purse.

There are many options out there for a quality firearms in the $4-600.00 range. Take your wife to the gunshop and let her find what's comfortable for her. A revolver may be nice since felt recoil can and will cause the firearm to jam if it's "limp wristed".
 
#27 ·
The ladies can buy a CCW purse at the NRA shop, starting at $59.95. I bought the wife one, but she won't use it. Throw all her stuff in there, and then add a pistol, with an extra mag, and she says, "It's too heavy". Go figure!! http://www.nrastore.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=purses
 
#28 ·
It is a shame that she does not want a revolver. If she would accept that, you could get her a .357 that would stop anything, yet she could practice with light loaded .38 specials. She would be very likely to practice that way and keep up on her skills, while carrying a load that is an extremely capable self defense round. In a crisis, she won't even feel the wrist pain. If multiple rounds is the issue, a couple speed loaders, and practice in using them, would cover that base as well. You would also have a WIDE range of brands and prices to choose from, and virtually no reliability issues.
 
#30 ·
we've done a little more talking on the subject. revolvers still are not going to be an option unless she has limp wristing issues (which i think she will be fine with btw) and she also is in agreement with me that she wants a gun with a safety. something like glock's trigger safety does not count so the 42 is out. we are going to shoot one at the local range anyway since they have them to rent. she might like it and change her mind.

still havent been to the range yet. not sure when we will get the time. maybe wednesday or thursday this week. hopefully i will have a better idea of what she likes by that time.
 
#33 ·
In the last several weeks I have helped 2 very different people by a gun. Yesterday my 78 yo dad came down and we went to my favorite LGS. He had just sold his hammer less S&W 357 that was pulling his pant down. Sold it for $350. So we go in and look and he sets his price under $300. The guy shows him a $250 Fla made Saturday Night special. he likes it and ask me what I thought. I said well a gun is a lot like a motorcycle helmet. You buy it hoping you never need it, so if you got a $10 head buy you a $10 helmet. He looked some more and settled on a Ruger LC 9. Racking it is a little challenging for his old hands but it will give him something to work on. We shot it when we got home and it shoots good. He seems to handle the recoil good but he most likely won't shoot it much.

The other person is a 34 yo woman that boards her horse at my place. She had shot everything I have and was scared of the recoil. I tried a 380 in my Colt Mustang. But that was too much in a small gun. She was still interested so one day we went down to look. The owner suggested a Ruger SR22. She was shocked and asked is that big enough. I told her there has probably been more men killed by pissed off woman with a 22 than any other caliber. We both told her that she would be more likely to practice with it and then she could trade up. Also to borrow from the Front Sight training. Any gun will do if you will do. My thoughts are if your going to get attacked they are going to do it whether your carrying a 22 or a 44. And if your scared or can't handle the big gun it is of no use.

So we practice some every week and work on some senerios. This week was an exercise that if she had done everything she could do and the attacker still gets to her. Whether she has fired as many rounds as she can or the gun jams she is face to face his hand on the gun, drop the mag and kick it.

She also bought the pocketbook even though I tried to discourage it. You loose your pocketbook you loose your gun. I used to carry an extra gun on my saddle when trail riding. Loose your horse loose your gun.
So I guess what I'm saying is. A light caliber if she is comfortable with it is better than a sharp stick.
 
#34 ·
In the last several weeks I have helped 2 very different people by a gun. Yesterday my 78 yo dad came down and we went to my favorite LGS. He had just sold his hammer less S&W 357 that was pulling his pant down. Sold it for $350. So we go in and look and he sets his price under $300. The guy shows him a $250 Fla made Saturday Night special. he likes it and ask me what I thought. .
If that $250, Florida made, gun that you referred to is the SCCY CPX-2, it is by no means a Saturday night special. It may be cheap but is a pretty nice gun. Here is a thread about that gun: http://www.thefirearmsforum.com/threads/sccy-9mm.147681/
 
#35 ·
Yes that's what it was. Maybe not a SNS but certainly not something I would want to depend on. I'm not name brand snobbish on most things. I buy stuff from Harbor Frieght but not things my life depends on.

My long gun collection though not big consists of Winchesters Brownings Ruger and a Henry. My pistols are Brownings Colts Rugers and S&W's. The only off one I have is a Magnum Research BFR, which I am having trouble with.
This is not to say that one of these won't let me down at a critical time. But if they do I have the consolation of knowing I didn't cheap out.
If this gun had been for someone with limited funds the Sccy would have worked. But he could afford a Kimber or a Colt.
A sidenote. I once bought a Hyundai. It was the most expensive to own car I ever had. Even with a 100,000 mile warranty that didn't cover electrical. And the motor wore out at 136000.
 
#44 ·
My dad always said that. He would do without if all he could afford was something cheap. He didn't have any guns but everything else he bought was the best.
 
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