Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN
 

Your Starship Enterprise Captain might be a redneck if....


Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month

He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"


He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen

He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it

He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser

He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"

He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

He paints the starship John Deere green

He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"

He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"

His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale

His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls

He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge


He sets phaser to "Cajun"





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Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN
 

Hahahaha! (I love this!)

Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN
 

That's funny ! In these, the most serious of, times thanks for posting that. I needed a good laugh.

Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN
 

forgot one important one-right before warp speed engagement he says "hold my beer and watch this"

Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN
 

"Neelix! Is my spacekill cooked yet?"

Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN
 

They ain't Klingons, they's Yankees!