The One Liner Thread
 

What's the difference between a smart blond and a UFO?

There have actually been UFO sightings.

:lmao2::lmao2::lmao2:

NEXT:D

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

Did you hear about the two blondes who walked into a skyscraper?

You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

:D

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

What do you do with a 40 year old woman who thinks she's God's gift? Trade her in for two 20 year olds.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

I don't know any jokes clean enough to post on here! ahhahaaa!

I'm rackin' my brain and just can't think of any clean ones....

OK, this might be clean enough...

A guy walks into the psychologist's office completely naked, his whole body wrapped in seran wrap. The shrink says "I can clearly see you're nuts!"

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

For my wifes 30th birthday I took her to Paris. For her 60th birthday I am going to get her.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

How about the agnostic dyslexic who stays up nights wondering if there really is a doG?

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

It occurs to me that regarding the military sex scandals going on right now that we have too many Generals taking orders from their privates!

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

What's the deference between a woman and a car battery? The battery has a positive side!!!

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?


You can negotiate with the terrorist!

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

From my 2 of my sisters, both of them nurses.

You know you're a nurse if...

You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.


You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.


When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your shoes


You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

why do blondes wear ear rings? ankle holders

what does a blonde say after sex? are all you guys on the same team?

I have CDO. that's OCD in alphabetical order.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

I am glad I put this in the Pump House.:D

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up!! You don't know where it's been!!"

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

what's the only difference between a fairy tale and a sailor's story?

fairy tales start off "once upon a time...", sailor stories start of "This is no S... !"

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

Three pregnant friends were comparing notes about things that they'd heard that could effect the gender of the baby....

The brunette says that she will probably have a boy because she was on top when the baby was conceived. The redhead says she will probably have a girl because she was on the bottom. The blonde thinks for a moment and looking a bit uneasy, announces that she will probably be having puppies.

(Sorry, more than one line. :rolleyes: )

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

If there is no Woman around to hear a Man speak, IS HE STILL WRONG ?

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

Obama has been working hard, 24 / 7 - 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

What do you call a blonde with laryngitis?

PERFECT

My wife made that up.

:lmao2:

Re: The One Liner Thread
 

Yes, according to my wife