Re: 9mm vs 38acp
You seem to be somewhere around a .38spl and a .38s&w for "preference" in the recoil of a lightweight pistol. The +p 38 and 9 mm would likely be above your comfort level.
A .380 (aka 9mm kurtz) in a heavier pistol would be managable, but the light pistol weight is actually working against you for anything beyond pure defensive use.
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