Indybear57
Moderator
Posts: 308
(5/22/01 10:04:08 pm)
| Del
ezSupporter
Night In A Bar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One evening there was a young lady in a bar having a couple of drinks and checking out the young men. After she'd been there for a little while a 70 year old man comes up and starts hitting on her. She thinks to herself "What the hell. The old codger'll be done in a couple of minutes and then I can head back here and find someone younger to spend the night with." So, she and the old man leave.
The get to the old man's hotel room and the young lady excuses herself to the bathroom. She comes out wearing nothing but her skimpy bra and lace underwear. Much to her suprise she sees the old man standing by the dresser with a swimmers nose clip on, stuffing cotton in his ears.
"What in the world are you doing?" she asks.
The old man replies, "If there's two things in this world I can't stand it's screaming women and the smell of burning latex!"
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 602
(5/23/01 6:59:33 am)
| Del Re: Night In A Bar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hehehehe! Goodun Phil!
That was Smokin!,there Mike.Hehehe!
Certainly made a BIG imprint on me Donna.
...and two hard boiled eggs.
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 961
(5/23/01 7:21:41 am)
| Del Re: Night In A Bar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She has a good laugh at Homer and thinks, "should I or
shouldn't I" ask? Down Boy! LOL!
Rons Toys
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 44
(5/23/01 7:27:03 am)
| Del you might be stupid if....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We in no way claim copyright to any of the "You might be a..." jokes, these jokes are all
belived to be in the public domain catagory. If you own or run a You might be a... site and
wish to mirror our collection however please ask for permission first! Permission may be
obtained from
RyNeed@yahoo.com, the only return we ask of you is a return link to our site.
Thanks and enjoy!
You Might be... (Select a category)
a military brat
a Mother if
in the army if
anal-retentive if
a goth if
a Net Junkie if
A Redneck If
a IRC Junkie if
a Microsoft Employee If
a Web Developer if
an Engineer if
a Yankee If
home schooled if
Addicted to AOL if
a Biker if
a child of the 80's if
a bad cook if
a drunk if
from iowa if
a pack rat if
a wrestling fan if
a Geologist if
getting old when
a College Student
a Republican if
Stupid If
From A Small Town If
a Gamer if
You Might Be Stupid If...
you can't remember the number for 911.
you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.
you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!
you put braille on a drive up teller machine.
you think a pigpen is something to write with!!!
you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.
you frequently misspell your own name.
you sell your car for gas money.
you try thinking and nothing happens.
you think a quarterback is a refund!!!
you were the one testing out the shark bite suit.
you have to look "stupid" up in the dictionary.
you tell your wife not to laugh as you point a gun to your head, because
she is next!
you bronze a gold medal as a keep sake.
you feel for one millisecond that you may have won the sweepstakes this
time despite the fact that it is stamped in clear view "bulk rate."
you look at any of the above and think, "Huh?! I don't get it..."
you try to alphabitize your m&m's
you think yopu have 20 fingers
you cant spell you
you pee your self in the bathroom.
you get locked in a grocery store and starve to death
you think Reading is just a place.
You think that Canada is a southern state.
you answer every math problem with "7"
You think that eveyone else is stupid because you paid your taxes over a
year ago.
you voted for Al Gore.
you sniff a lighter while its lit
Tac401
Administrator
Posts: 759
(5/25/01 9:54:27 pm)
| Del
ezSupporter
Do Bears ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tac401
Administrator
Posts: 760
(5/25/01 9:59:21 pm)
| Del
ezSupporter
The Little Patriot
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 990
(5/26/01 9:01:30 am)
| Del Re: Do Bears ?
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Those are great JD! Love the bear picture!
See you didn't hesitate to put the Hilary picture in it's
proper forum. What a joke!
Misterstan
Moderator
Posts: 177
(5/26/01 12:33:44 pm)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"
"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,' replied the President.
"I do need your help," said putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin.
"Yes?"
"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10'' long and 4'' in diameter?" said Putin.
"No problem," replied the President and, with that, George Dubya hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor. You've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."
"Consider it done," said the President of condom company.
"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10'' long and 4'' wide."
"Easily done. Anything else?"
"Yeah," chuckled the President, "print 'MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE SMALL' on each one."
Misterstan
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 995
(5/26/01 1:11:14 pm)
| Del Re: you might be stupid if....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rons Toys,
That was funny as hell, "you might stupid if".
A much needed laugh.
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 996
(5/26/01 1:25:28 pm)
| Del Re: you might be stupid if....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharon,
In case you drop in here......hope your days are no
longer blurred.
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 169
(5/26/01 1:35:18 pm)
| Del Re: you might be stupid if....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HI! Donna!
Doin' better. Only feel like I'm on a roller coaster immediately after rollin' out of bed every morning. Thanks!
Sharon
Edited by: TShooters at: 5/26/01 2:40:36 pm
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 170
(5/26/01 1:39:12 pm)
| Del Chemistry Test
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love this one!
**********
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas
cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 172
(5/26/01 2:09:10 pm)
| Del How to Build a Web Page
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO BUILD A WEB PAGE IN 25 STEPS
1. Download a piece of Web authoring software ~ 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page ~ 6
weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software,
because they have released 3 new versions since the first
time you downloaded it ~ 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on
your site ~ 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them
that you like ~ 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails,
download it again ~ 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar
buttons to see what they do ~ 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a
few words here and there ~ 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software ~
1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images ~ 6
hours.
11. Remove one of the images ~ 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your
background, wonder why all your text is gone ~ 4 hours.
13. Download a counter from your ISP ~ 4 minutes.
14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are
visitor number 16.3 E10" ~ 3 hours.
15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text ~ 8 hours.
16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page
on your ISP ~ 40 minutes.
17. Accidentally delete your complete web page ~ 1 second.
18. Recreate your web page ~ 2 days.
19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your
ISP's server ~ 3 weeks.
20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP ~ 30
minutes.
21. Download FTP software ~ 10 minutes.
22. Call your friend again ~ 15 minutes.
23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server ~ 10 minutes.
24. Connect to your site on the web ~ 1 minute.
25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps ~ eternity
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 173
(5/26/01 2:17:12 pm)
| Del The Talking Clock
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Talking Clock
-----------------
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a
college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his
friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch", the man said, then proceeded to give the gong an
ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall,
"KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! It's two AM!"
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 175
(5/26/01 2:28:09 pm)
| Del It's the Little Things....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE LITTLE THINGS THAT DRIVE A SANE PERSON MAD
You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid
little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart
into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing
down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't
realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works
for you.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at
EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it
came.
You drink from a soda can into which someone has
extinguished a cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're
trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing
near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every
time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop
out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and
your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let
a pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical
contact with your filling (or braces).
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm
instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that
song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom
doorknob to get out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead
of you to a counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word
in the dictionary because you don't know how to
spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in
the same store that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and
now you can't find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the floor
and smash your head on the way up.
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 176
(5/26/01 2:35:19 pm)
| Del Ring..Ring....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ring...Ring...
Hello" Says a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," Says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and fell down the front
steps and she's just lying there. Her neck is at a funny angle. I think she's dead."
"Oh my god....And what about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but
he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and is just lying
there, not moving. He may be dead too."
There is a long pause,
then Bob says, "Swimming pool?
Is this 854-7039?"
Remf
Moderator
Posts: 187
(5/27/01 6:00:37 am)
| Del Lawyers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tshooter is on a roll now!
Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two lawyers were arguing over a penny.
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
Because deep down, they're really good people.
What do you call 100 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the
ocean?
A good start.
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.
Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their
clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same
service.
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
How can you tell when lawyers are lying?
Their lips are moving.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the
lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
How do you save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
Retired.
What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
Remf
Moderator
Posts: 188
(5/27/01 6:05:55 am)
| Del Sometimes it takes a while.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman's
husband had been slipping in and out of a coma
for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every
single day. One day, when he finally awoke, he motioned for
her to come closer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You
know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my
business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were
by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to
fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 660
(5/27/01 9:37:55 am)
| Del Re: Sometimes it takes a while.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hahahaha! Very good guys!
...and two hard boiled eggs.
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1005
(5/27/01 9:53:40 am)
| Del Re: Sometimes it takes a while.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm going to keep the Lawyer jokes hidden from my family.
Those jokes are too funny.
<>
Remf
Moderator
Posts: 190
(5/29/01 10:44:41 am)
| Del Money.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<>
Money...
It can buy a House
But not a Home
It can buy a Bed
But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock
But not Time
It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position
But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine
But not Health
It can buy you Blood
But not Life
It can buy you Sex
But not Love
So you see money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
Cash is fine.
Indybear57
Moderator
Posts: 331
(5/29/01 11:07:57 am)
| Del
ezSupporter
Re: Money.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You, my friend, are WAY too eager!
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 681
(5/29/01 9:13:51 pm)
| Del Re: Money.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hehe!,had me goin all the way Phil..a real kicker at the end.Hehe! Good un!
Edited by: oneknight at: 5/29/01 10:55:25 pm
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1026
(5/29/01 9:58:24 pm)
| Del Re: Money.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So....you gonna share all that cash? Homer is always
looking for a loan.
<>
Remf
Moderator
Posts: 192
(5/31/01 11:25:47 am)
| Del How it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would share but I would really hate to cause you pain &suffering. Heh, heh. <>
Here's another:
> Let's see if I understand how America works lately . . .
>
> If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was
> holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.
>
> If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock 'n' roll
> music or musician he liked.
>
> If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of
> lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.
>
> If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you
> blame the school for poor sex education.
>
> If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home
> drunk, you blame the bartender.
>
> If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to
> shoot up with heroin was dirty, you blame the government
> for not providing clean ones.
>
> If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you
> blame television.
>
> If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame
> the gun manufacturer.
>
> And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to
> kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him
> instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.
>
> I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is
> anymore. So if I die while my old, wrinkled butt is parked
> in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates, OK?
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 708
(5/31/01 12:25:57 pm)
| Del Re: How it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey Larry!...we have 5% of the worlds population and 95% of the lawyers.Good grief bud!...what a mess!
OH Yeah!...and some 82% of all the political offices held in America...from the smallest town councils to the President of the United States are lawyers. 82%!
I read this somewhere just a few years back...I forget where but always remember that statistic...a statistic that if I wasn't willing to accept it would be because that the percentage was too low.
...and two hard boiled eggs.
Indybear57
Moderator
Posts: 341
(5/31/01 3:49:08 pm)
| Del
ezSupporter
Rednecks & Nuns
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three rednecks, sitting behind a couple of nuns at the football game, decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 Catholics living there..."
The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, I hear there are only 50 Catholics living there..."
The third guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Idaho, my uncle says there are only 25 Catholics living there..."
One of the nuns then turned around, looked the three men squarely in the eyes and calmly said: "Why don't you go to Hell, there aren't any Catholics there!"
Misterstan
Moderator
Posts: 198
(5/31/01 4:13:43 pm)
| Del Re: How it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man calls his boss in the morning.
"Ey, boss. I not come work today I really sick.
I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt.
I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Carlos, I really need you
today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell
her to give me a blowjob. That makes me feel better
and I can go to work. You should try that."
Two hours later Carlos calls.
"Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I'll be at
work soon."
"And by the way, you got nice house."
Misterstan
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 725
(5/31/01 11:15:57 pm)
| Del Re: How it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah Man! They were great! Hahahahahahahaha! I love this Board!!!
...and two hard boiled eggs.
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1055
(6/1/01 7:12:11 am)
| Del Re: How it works.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stan,
Very, very funny! Still laughing...ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!!
Mithrandir
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 67
(6/1/01 10:42:31 am)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man & a woman were beginning to have trouble in their marriage
every time one of them wanted to have sex.. the other one was reluctant for some reason...
stuff like... it is too dark in here...
or
there is too much light...
the kids can hear us...
there is someone at the door...
They just couldn’t get it together….
So… they visited a marriage counselor…..and after listening to the couple said..
“It seems to me that the real problem is not that you do not want sex… it is that you two just cannot seem to be “In Sync” with one another….”
“So what do we do? they pleaded….
“Well…. when he comes to you and you see that look in his eye… or when she comes to you with that look in HER eye…. just DO IT…. right there… don’t worry about the kids or someone at the door….”
“Thanks … we’ll try it” and off they went…..
Several weeks later.. the counselor calls to see how things are going….”well… is it working” he says..
“I’ll Say!!” they both said… “it works great”!!
“well, do you to tell me about it?”
“Sure” says she….
Well…
Well… one evening while we were having dinner…..I look up and see that look in his eye… and he sees that look in MY eyes…. and we quickly strip off our clothes and tear the tablecloth off of the table and throw all the food on the floor in order to clear a space… and we made wild .. passionate love right there on the table….””
“It was great” he chimes in….”but there is only one problem”
“and what is that?” asked the couseler
“Well…… it was great sex and all…. but…..”
“well…. we will never be able to go to THAT restaurant again!!”
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 729
(6/1/01 1:01:42 pm)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hehe! No doubt! Goodun Mith...both a writer of stories and jokes too...Glad you made it here bud!
...and two hard boiled eggs.
oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1058
(6/1/01 2:05:38 pm)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mith,
Enjoy your stories very much, glad to see you post some
humor.
One of the nice things about this board, share a memory
and if it's too much, drop in and have a laugh.
Notice how much Homer hangs around here. Had to limit
his visits to Boom Boom's Lounge, He was becoming a
lush like Dave.
Donna aka Boom Boom
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 740
(6/1/01 5:17:18 pm)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah,I've noticed I'm tippin a few too many...but when I'm with Ole Dave,why it seems the right thing to do Donna.
He's a such a likable guy...I hate to say no to him and so I'll pop another cap.
He almost got me in trouble over at Mike's Place with none other than Ole Mike himself but me and Mike why we go back a long way and I left in good standing...Heck!,the three of us are like a Shamrock.
What time ya gotta work at the Lounge Kid,I'll try to make my way over there.
...and two hard boiled eggs.
Edited by: homer4 at: 6/1/01 7:20:23 pm
TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 191
(6/1/01 5:45:40 pm)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
, Mith! Denny's will never be the same!
Oh....Waitresss!!!! Will ya wipe this table down one mo' time??
Sharon
Mesen
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 161
(6/1/01 8:54:34 pm)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Built FORD Tough
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates,
St. Peter greets Ford
and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy,
and your invention...
the Assembly line for the automobile... changed the
world. As a reward,
you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want."
Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out
with God Himself." So
the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne
Room, and introduces him
to God. Ford then asks God, "When you invented
Woman, what were you
>thinking?"
You have some major
design flaws in your invention
1. There's too much front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3 Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting and refinishing.
5. Every 28 days it leaks fluid and is rendered
out of service.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.
"Hummmm," replies God, "hold on a minute." God goes
over to the Celestial
Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits
for the results. In no
time the computer prints out a report, and God reads
it. God then turns to
Ford, and says, "It may be that my invention is
flawed, but according to
these statistics, more men are riding my invention
than yours.
IF YOU VALUE YOUR FREEDOM, THANK A VET!
homer4
Moderator
Posts: 754
(6/2/01 7:25:51 am)
| Del Re: Jokes III
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah Man!!! High maintanance for sure...AHHH!!!,but what a Ride!!!
Absolutely funny Bree!! Goodun! Hehe!
...and two hard boiled eggs.