[ampaterry]

We all know what has happened to oil prices, so I want your help in seeing to it that your church does not consume excess energy in heating the building next winter. These suggestions will help keep you warm in church:

1. Rush right to the front to avoid the draft around the doors in the rear.
2. Invite your neighbors and friends and sit 10 persons to the pew.
3. Seat yourself near the pulpit; much hot air is emitted from that area.
4. Bring something up during sharing time that will get some folks cranked up; that will bring even MORE hot air!
5. Fuss and fume when you don't like what the preacher says.
6. Tell me that you’ve been thinking about it, and really believe that we came from monkeys. That’s good for several minutes of heat.
8. Call out a hymn that no one knows; that makes lots of folks hot under the collar!
9. Remind me of how long it has been since I gave a hell-fire and brimstone sermon; they ALWAYS warm things up!
10. Leave all your coldness at the door – things will be a lot warmer inside without it.
11. Let the Holy Spirit fill you, it will warm your heart and body, and spread to everyone around you.

Ephesians 5:18-20 (KJV);
“And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;”

I hope these suggestions will help to warm you one way or the other:
Either the humor warmed your heart, or:
You didn’t like it, and you got hot under the collar.

May God bless each one of you -