I need a push - The Firearms Forum

Sig Willy · 10-06-2012, 12:09 PM

A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up
and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife..

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
...
"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?

I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..

Alpo · 10-06-2012, 01:09 PM

Wonder how long it will be before no one will get this joke any more?

You can't push an automatic, and sticks are just about a thing of the past. Can you push a car with a computer and electronic full pump and fuel injection? Will it even work, or do you need old-fashioned points, carb and mechanical pump?

CCHolderinMaine · 10-06-2012, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alpo

Wonder how long it will be before no one will get this joke any more?

You can't push an automatic, and sticks are just about a thing of the past. Can you push a car with a computer and electronic full pump and fuel injection? Will it even work, or do you need old-fashioned points, carb and mechanical pump?

I'm assuming you mean push-start? Yes, you can push start any vehicle that has a direct engine-transmission-wheel path. You're just substituting turning the engine with the starter with turning the engine by way of turning the wheels then the transmission then the engine. An automatic doesn't work due to the viscous coupling of the torque convertor. Some newer awd cars use a viscous coupling at both differentials which will spoil your push-start plans even if it's a standard.

Sig Willy · 10-06-2012, 02:46 PM

There's still plenty of sticks around. My sis have a year old model and it's a stick.

m77user · 10-07-2012, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CCHolderinMaine

I'm assuming you mean push-start? Yes, you can push start any vehicle that has a direct engine-transmission-wheel path. You're just substituting turning the engine with the starter with turning the engine by way of turning the wheels then the transmission then the engine. An automatic doesn't work due to the viscous coupling of the torque convertor. Some newer awd cars use a viscous coupling at both differentials which will spoil your push-start plans even if it's a standard.

Up until 1959 you could start an automatic by pushing it. They took out the rear sump pump to save weight for gas mileage; saved a shole 8lbs.

dad2thebone · 10-07-2012, 12:19 PM

hahaha i had to stop laughing before it sank in. thanks for the laugh.

CampingJosh · 10-07-2012, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alpo

You can't push an automatic, and sticks are just about a thing of the past. Can you push a car with a computer and electronic full pump and fuel injection? Will it even work, or do you need old-fashioned points, carb and mechanical pump?

Not sure... but it makes me want to check. My wife has a 2011 Kia out in the driveway with a manual transmission. Perhaps I'll take it out to a hill here in a bit and see if I can get gravity to give me a push, see if I can't get it running.

10-06-2012, 12:09 PM	#1
Sig Willy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 565	I need a push A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. ... "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.. __________________ _________________________ Be alert! We need more lerts! -->

10-06-2012, 01:09 PM	#2
Alpo Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: NW Florida Posts: 8,650	Re: I need a push Wonder how long it will be before no one will get this joke any more? You can't push an automatic, and sticks are just about a thing of the past. Can you push a car with a computer and electronic full pump and fuel injection? Will it even work, or do you need old-fashioned points, carb and mechanical pump? __________________ Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy, and taste good with catsup - George of Lod, Year of Our Lord 297 I always take precautions. Beware the Evil Bullet Fairies.

10-06-2012, 02:46 PM	#4
Sig Willy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 565	Re: I need a push There's still plenty of sticks around. My sis have a year old model and it's a stick. __________________ _________________________ Be alert! We need more lerts!

10-07-2012, 12:19 PM	#6
dad2thebone Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,357	Re: I need a push hahaha i had to stop laughing before it sank in. thanks for the laugh. __________________ 9-11-01 we will never forget.And then we have dec 7 now it's Nov 6th all sad days for our country. And dont whizz on my leg then tell me it's raining.