Church sounds like a fun place
There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist.
Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female.
The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
So, one of the ladies approached the organist, very discreetly, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, "because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a week!"
The perky organist agreed to try rubbing the persimmons on her nipples.
The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said ...
"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not haff a thermon tewday."