Don't mess with Texas - The Firearms Forum

Sig Willy · 12-01-2012, 11:46 PM

The governor from California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but then reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls animal control. Animal control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases.

The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for six months while the California Fish and Game Department conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "Coyote Awareness Program" for residents of the area. The Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.

By coincidence, he governor of Texas is also jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and tries to attack him and his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

The governor spent 50 cents on a .380-caliber, hollow-point cartridge. Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.

ejkoechling · 12-02-2012, 12:22 AM

lol. so true

JohnHenry · 12-02-2012, 06:33 AM

Hummm ...... The gov. of Texas with a .380 ?
I would have expected him to carry a .45 ACP .

reflex1 · 12-02-2012, 07:22 AM

Or a .44 magnum!

gvw3 · 12-02-2012, 07:58 AM

I grew up in this area when it was all farm land and I never saw a coyote. Now they are all over. Now the lib's won't let you shoot them. We had one a block from the house last week that was as big as my dog's.

Maybe they will learn after a small child gets tore up. They are already killing small dogs and cat's around here.

JohnHenry · 12-02-2012, 09:26 AM

gvw3 .... Keep in mind the "Three S's' .... Shoot, Shovel, and Shut-up" .

What some of "them" don't know won't hurt you !

jedwil · 12-02-2012, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnHenry

Hummm ...... The gov. of Texas with a .380 ?
I would have expected him to carry a .45 ACP .

He was jogging. .380 is more comfy in running shorts.

Deputy Dawg · 12-02-2012, 05:10 PM

Long Live Texas.....

RJay · 12-02-2012, 07:29 PM

The first time that joke made the rounds ( about a year ago ) it was featuring the Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer, based on the fact she did shoot a coyote while jogging. ( she does carry while jogging).

Moral, Don't mess with Arizona, Poor Texans, they have to steal jokes from other states.

jedwil · 12-02-2012, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RJay

The first time that joke made the rounds ( about a year ago ) it was featuring the Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer, based on the fact she did shoot a coyote while jogging. ( she does carry while jogging).

Moral, Don't mess with Arizona, Poor Texans, they have to steal jokes from other states.

I don't recall the AZ Gov shooting a coyote but here is a link to Rick Perry's feat:http://www.azcentral.com/news/articl...ts-coyote.html

12-01-2012, 11:46 PM	#1
Sig Willy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 565	Don't mess with Texas The governor from California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but then reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural. He calls animal control. Animal control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases. The governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for six months while the California Fish and Game Department conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals. The governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "Coyote Awareness Program" for residents of the area. The Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training, re: the nature of coyotes. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state. By coincidence, he governor of Texas is also jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and tries to attack him and his dog. The governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The governor spent 50 cents on a .380-caliber, hollow-point cartridge. Buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that is why California is broke and Texas is not. __________________ _________________________ Be alert! We need more lerts! -->

12-02-2012, 12:22 AM	#2
ejkoechling Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Imperial, MO Posts: 558	Re: Don't mess with Texas lol. so true

12-02-2012, 06:33 AM	#3
JohnHenry Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Livingston county, Michigan Posts: 1,218	Re: Don't mess with Texas Hummm ...... The gov. of Texas with a .380 ? I would have expected him to carry a .45 ACP . __________________ Freedom .... Is Never Free ! We need Term Limits .... Send the "Professional Politicians" home .

12-02-2012, 07:22 AM	#4
reflex1 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Central Arkansas Contributor Posts: 464	Re: Don't mess with Texas Or a .44 magnum!

12-02-2012, 07:58 AM	#5
gvw3 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Chicago IL Area Contributor Posts: 3,292	Re: Don't mess with Texas I grew up in this area when it was all farm land and I never saw a coyote. Now they are all over. Now the lib's won't let you shoot them. We had one a block from the house last week that was as big as my dog's. Maybe they will learn after a small child gets tore up. They are already killing small dogs and cat's around here. __________________ Criminals advocate stronger gun laws to foster a safer work environment. This limits their exposure to risk.

12-02-2012, 09:26 AM	#6
JohnHenry Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Livingston county, Michigan Posts: 1,218	Re: Don't mess with Texas gvw3 .... Keep in mind the "Three S's' .... Shoot, Shovel, and Shut-up" . What some of "them" don't know won't hurt you ! __________________ Freedom .... Is Never Free ! We need Term Limits .... Send the "Professional Politicians" home .

12-02-2012, 05:10 PM	#8
Deputy Dawg Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Texas Gulf Coast Posts: 2,229	Re: Don't mess with Texas Long Live Texas..... __________________ LOCK and LOAD................................... GOD, GUNS,GUTS the three that keep us FREE!!!!

12-02-2012, 07:29 PM	#9
RJay Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Arizona Posts: 3,487	Re: Don't mess with Texas The first time that joke made the rounds ( about a year ago ) it was featuring the Governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer, based on the fact she did shoot a coyote while jogging. ( she does carry while jogging). Moral, Don't mess with Arizona, Poor Texans, they have to steal jokes from other states. __________________ RonJames Last edited by RJay; 12-02-2012 at 07:35 PM..