I feel the same.
A good hawk is really expensive around $120 and up. I have seen some cheep ones, and know they would probably not hold an edge.
Some day, I'll get one and have it for a lifetime.
In the intrim, I got myself an Estwing roofing hatchet. I do not throw it. I carry it in a leather hammer holder. It holds a razor edge and is not very heavy. It has a hammer head oposite the blade. It works great for trimming branches outta my tree stand.
I am sure it does not compare to a nice hawk, but it's what I got now.
"The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name." Exodus15:3