Vaccine to prevent liberlism

satellite66 · 08-05-2006, 08:21 AM

From NationalLedger.com

Commentary
New Vaccine Discovered To Prevent Liberal Stupidity
By Political Satirist Chris Davis
Aug 4, 2006

Houston, TX—In what may be the biggest medical breakthrough of the millennium, Dr. “Red” Duke claims to have discovered a vaccine that will prevent liberal stupidity. The vaccine, currently in the throws of a study, is reported to stop the spread of absurdities and other abnormalities associated with liberalism.

In some cases, Dr. Duke notes, the rampant disease can be halted altogether, giving hope to many families that have given up on ever finding a cure for their relatives. Testing, according to Dr. Duke, was done largely on monkeys, because of the similar characteristics between monkeys and liberals. The incessant, childish behavior, he explained, was the key to the link between monkeys and liberals.

Unlike the new obesity vaccine—which leaves reasonable doubt to its validity—this vaccine is reported to definitively trim the level of stupidity that many liberal families suffer from on a daily basis. Dr. Duke explains that he advanced on the problem as if it were a neurological disorder, that the target of the vaccine was to attack the useless, lazy cells that were attached to liberal spines, creating a moody, depressed person that is generally unengaged, unemployed and doesn’t care about society.

The vaccine, according to Dr. Duke, transformed the useless cells—referred to as liberal cells—into active, productive cells, creating a more animated and engaged monkey. After five and a half long years, Dr. Duke thinks that his tireless research has come to fruition.

Basically, Dr. Duke details, that during the experiment, they took six monkeys and placed them in front of the television with the usual liberal propaganda on network news. They showed them ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN, and, according to Dr. Duke, the monkeys remained mesmerized, almost as if they were zombies, until after the injection of the vaccine to four of them.

“After thirty days, the four monkeys that were given the vaccine wouldn’t watch network news,” Dr. Duke said. “It was amazing, a real breakthrough in science. The possibilities are endless. I’ve already asked for volunteers from The New York Times. Every one of them should be injected immediately!”

If it works on New York Times’ reporters, Dr. Duke thinks that it should be recommended to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for immediate circulation in New York, Massachusetts, California, and liberal states across the nation.

Dr. Duke does admit, however, that takers of the vaccine would suffer some odd side effects. He noted that the vaccine takers would suffer from an enlarged backbone, they would stop picking their nose, start working regularly, and became more engaged via logging onto the internet.

“All of the monkeys began logging onto a site called Free Republic to get most of their news. Some of them even posted. Other times they began listening to the Rush Limbaugh Show,” he states. “It was awe inspiring. To see these monkeys go from a near zombie, to an informed group, almost brought me to tears. Just imagine what we can do with the U.S. Senate.”

“The vaccine is a very novel approach for the treatment of liberalism,” says Mattias Chop, a liberal researcher at the University of Columbia. “This could save America. I think we owe Dr. Duke a big thank you, and a steak dinner. You can’t pay a man enough for something like this. Keep up the great work!”

“I hope this vaccine works,” cried Maureen Bittle, a housewife from Boston, MA. “I can’t get my 35-year old to get off the couch. All he does is sit there and watch shows like Fear Factor. I’ve even threatened to kick him out of the house, but all he says is that it’s Bush’s fault that he can’t get a job. You’ve given me so much hope, Dr. Duke. Don’t stop now!”

“I think Senator Ted Kennedy should be the first senator we test it on,” stated Sen. Jon Kyl, R-AZ. “He’s definitely ripe for the vaccine. Bring it on, Dr. Duke!”

These findings mark a turning point in the treatment of liberalism by confirming the effectiveness of vaccinations to combat this serious and growing American problem. In his quest to end liberalism, Dr. “Red” Duke has taken a leap that may have saved the country from further disease, a disease that has created liberal stupidity across the nation.

Link

Marlin T · 08-05-2006, 01:38 PM

Sat66, that was a really funny one! Couldn't we only hope huh?

Umm maybe someone could slip bernie a couple

pickenup · 08-05-2006, 03:41 PM

Where can I get some of this? I know some people..............

armedandsafe · 08-05-2006, 04:34 PM

Let's see,,,at 10 mL per injection,,,,I'l take a 50 gallon drum, please.

Pops

Marlin T · 08-05-2006, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by armedandsafe

Let's see,,,at 10 mL per injection,,,,I'l take a 50 gallon drum, please.

Pops

Good repy Pops, that is funny.

southernshooter · 08-05-2006, 09:52 PM

Is their any way we can load the vacine in a cartride so we don't have to get close. In case it's contagious

Bruce FLinch · 08-05-2006, 11:49 PM

I suggest an immediate action of Aerial Spraying of this vaccine across California & New York to start!

08-05-2006, 08:21 AM	#1
satellite66 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Central NJ Posts: 2,068	Vaccine to prevent liberalism From NationalLedger.com Commentary New Vaccine Discovered To Prevent Liberal Stupidity By Political Satirist Chris Davis Aug 4, 2006 Houston, TX—In what may be the biggest medical breakthrough of the millennium, Dr. “Red” Duke claims to have discovered a vaccine that will prevent liberal stupidity. The vaccine, currently in the throws of a study, is reported to stop the spread of absurdities and other abnormalities associated with liberalism. In some cases, Dr. Duke notes, the rampant disease can be halted altogether, giving hope to many families that have given up on ever finding a cure for their relatives. Testing, according to Dr. Duke, was done largely on monkeys, because of the similar characteristics between monkeys and liberals. The incessant, childish behavior, he explained, was the key to the link between monkeys and liberals. Unlike the new obesity vaccine—which leaves reasonable doubt to its validity—this vaccine is reported to definitively trim the level of stupidity that many liberal families suffer from on a daily basis. Dr. Duke explains that he advanced on the problem as if it were a neurological disorder, that the target of the vaccine was to attack the useless, lazy cells that were attached to liberal spines, creating a moody, depressed person that is generally unengaged, unemployed and doesn’t care about society. The vaccine, according to Dr. Duke, transformed the useless cells—referred to as liberal cells—into active, productive cells, creating a more animated and engaged monkey. After five and a half long years, Dr. Duke thinks that his tireless research has come to fruition. Basically, Dr. Duke details, that during the experiment, they took six monkeys and placed them in front of the television with the usual liberal propaganda on network news. They showed them ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN, and, according to Dr. Duke, the monkeys remained mesmerized, almost as if they were zombies, until after the injection of the vaccine to four of them. “After thirty days, the four monkeys that were given the vaccine wouldn’t watch network news,” Dr. Duke said. “It was amazing, a real breakthrough in science. The possibilities are endless. I’ve already asked for volunteers from The New York Times. Every one of them should be injected immediately!” If it works on New York Times’ reporters, Dr. Duke thinks that it should be recommended to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for immediate circulation in New York, Massachusetts, California, and liberal states across the nation. Dr. Duke does admit, however, that takers of the vaccine would suffer some odd side effects. He noted that the vaccine takers would suffer from an enlarged backbone, they would stop picking their nose, start working regularly, and became more engaged via logging onto the internet. “All of the monkeys began logging onto a site called Free Republic to get most of their news. Some of them even posted. Other times they began listening to the Rush Limbaugh Show,” he states. “It was awe inspiring. To see these monkeys go from a near zombie, to an informed group, almost brought me to tears. Just imagine what we can do with the U.S. Senate.” “The vaccine is a very novel approach for the treatment of liberalism,” says Mattias Chop, a liberal researcher at the University of Columbia. “This could save America. I think we owe Dr. Duke a big thank you, and a steak dinner. You can’t pay a man enough for something like this. Keep up the great work!” “I hope this vaccine works,” cried Maureen Bittle, a housewife from Boston, MA. “I can’t get my 35-year old to get off the couch. All he does is sit there and watch shows like Fear Factor. I’ve even threatened to kick him out of the house, but all he says is that it’s Bush’s fault that he can’t get a job. You’ve given me so much hope, Dr. Duke. Don’t stop now!” “I think Senator Ted Kennedy should be the first senator we test it on,” stated Sen. Jon Kyl, R-AZ. “He’s definitely ripe for the vaccine. Bring it on, Dr. Duke!” These findings mark a turning point in the treatment of liberalism by confirming the effectiveness of vaccinations to combat this serious and growing American problem. In his quest to end liberalism, Dr. “Red” Duke has taken a leap that may have saved the country from further disease, a disease that has created liberal stupidity across the nation. Link __________________ “Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not” — Thomas Jefferson. "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948 --> Last edited by satellite66; 08-05-2006 at 03:49 PM..

08-05-2006, 01:38 PM	#2
Marlin T Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New Mexico Posts: 7,857	Re: Vaccine to prevent liberlism Sat66, that was a really funny one! Couldn't we only hope huh? Umm maybe someone could slip bernie a couple __________________ "But the simple truth--born of experience--is that tyranny thrives best where government need not fear the wrath of an armed people." Judge Alex Kozinski - United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government. - Thomas Paine Did you read todays GOOD shooting? >>>KEEPANDBEARARMS.COM <<<

08-05-2006, 03:41 PM	#3
pickenup Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains Posts: 6,837	Re: Vaccine to prevent liberlism Where can I get some of this? I know some people.............. __________________ The gene pool needs chlorine

08-05-2006, 04:34 PM	#4
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	Re: Vaccine to prevent liberlism Let's see,,,at 10 mL per injection,,,,I'l take a 50 gallon drum, please. Pops

08-05-2006, 09:52 PM	#6
southernshooter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Deep South Mississippi Posts: 5,943	Re: Vaccine to prevent liberlism Is their any way we can load the vacine in a cartride so we don't have to get close. In case it's contagious __________________ Only you can see this

08-05-2006, 11:49 PM	#7
Bruce FLinch Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point Posts: 5,016	Re: Vaccine to prevent liberlism I suggest an immediate action of Aerial Spraying of this vaccine across California & New York to start! __________________ A bad day @ the Range, is better than a good day @ work.