Man Talk

dreamcatcher27371
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 125
(7/23/01 11:38:33 am)
| Del All Man Talk
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We heard the women's, now here's the men's...:


1."I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and stand by a
stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete
safety."

2."IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and
you have no chance at all of making it logical".


3."CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

4."UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.

5."IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

6."I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I
HAVE
THINGS ON MY
MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over
there
is wearing a bra."

7."TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".

Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner."

8."THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

9."YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',
the address of the
first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification numbers of
every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your
birthday."

10."I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU
THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was
a
real babe."

11."OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO
BIG
DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will

bleed to death
before admit that I'm hurt."

12."HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M
DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty
soon."

13."I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched
hands,
so I'm completely
clueless."

14."WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

15."I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you
just
said, and am
hoping desperately that I can fake it well
enough so that you don't
spend
the
next 3 days yelling at me."

16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and

realize it could be
worse."

17."YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm

starving."

18."I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

19."WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up


homer4
Moderator
Posts: 1248
(7/23/01 12:11:02 pm)
| Del Man Talk
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Married! Are we Catch? Hehe!

oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1529
(7/23/01 2:58:14 pm)
| Del Re: Man Talk
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Oh, but we're not through......that means WE'LL BE BACK.
lol!




Donna

Rons Toys
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 70
(7/25/01 12:06:52 pm)
| Del Re: Man Talk
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THIS IS FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE BASHING JOKES
>
> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

> Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will never be able to support you.

> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

> How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart?
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once said..."

> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is
yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let
him in.

> All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you
can tell them apart.

> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
was Always.

> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.

> Scientists have discovered a food to diminish a woman's sex
drive by 90%.
> It is Wedding Cake.

> Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement Ring, Wedding
Ring, Suffering.

> Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me "what's on
the TV?"
> I said "Dust."

> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then
God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since
then, neither God nor Man has rested.

> Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two Mothers-in-law.

> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of
Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
they are beautiful.





oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1550
(7/25/01 3:46:57 pm)
| Del Re: Man Talk
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FUNNY GUYS!!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

homer4
Moderator
Posts: 1275
(7/27/01 2:19:07 pm)
| Del Re: Man Talk
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That's what I'm talkin bout Ron! Zakly that!
...and two hard boiled eggs.