outhouse poem - The Firearms Forum

Diamondback · 07-07-2010, 07:00 PM

THE OUTHOUSE POEM

The little Alaskan country store trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and willow stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,

"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"

Eddie N · 07-07-2010, 07:45 PM

That's a keeper!

navis128 · 07-07-2010, 07:53 PM

My grampa got a toy similar to that.

He installed it under the lid in my grams bathroom. After the thud, you could hear her cuss him from down the block

07-07-2010, 07:00 PM	#1
Diamondback Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Silver City, Oklahoma Posts: 660	outhouse poem THE OUTHOUSE POEM The little Alaskan country store trade was slow The owner sat around, With sharpened knife and willow stick Piled shavings on the ground. No modern facilities had they, The log across the rill Led to a shack, marked His and Hers That sat against the hill. "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?" The owner leaning back, Said not a word but whittled on, And nodded toward the shack. With quickened step she entered there But only stayed a minute, Until she screamed, just like a snake Or spider might be in it. With startled look and beet red face She bounded through the door, And headed quickly for the car Just like three gals before. She missed the foot log - jumped the stream The owner gave a shout, As her silk stockings, down at her knees Caught on a sassafras sprout. She tripped and fell - got up, and then In obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust. Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do The things they did, and then we found The whittling owner knew. A speaking system he'd devised To make the thing complete, He tied a speaker on the wall Beneath the toilet seat. He'd wait until the gals got set And then the devilish tike, Would stop his whittling long enough, To speak into the mike. And as she sat, a voice below Struck terror, fright and fear, "Will you please use the other hole, We're painting under here!" -->

07-07-2010, 07:45 PM	#2
Eddie N Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Colorado Contributor Posts: 1,192	Re: outhouse poem That's a keeper! __________________ September 11, 2001 Hope and Change: I hope there's some change left in my paycheck! 2012: Saying good bye to my paycheck.

07-07-2010, 07:53 PM	#3
navis128 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,392	Re: outhouse poem My grampa got a toy similar to that. He installed it under the lid in my grams bathroom. After the thud, you could hear her cuss him from down the block __________________ A British general reported to London that the rebels, though untrained, had earned his respect: "Whoever looks upon them as an irregular mob will find himself much mistaken." "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security." The Declaration of Independence