SURE TAKES SO LITTLE!!!!!!!

[rooter]

I HAVEN'T HEARD YET AND I MAY SOUND UNGRATEFUL WITH THESE REMARKS...HELL, I'M GONNA MAKE THEM ANYWAY...WHEN THE EXCITED, HEAVY-BREATHING WEATHERMAN WILL TELL US ABOUT THE RAIN IT WILL BE AS IF THEY WERE MERLIN, THE MAGICIANS CAUSING IT TO RAIN....THEN THEY WILL SLYLY REMARK IN A WHISPERED VOICE THE RAINFALL WAS UNMEASURABLE, THE AMOUNTS WERE SO LITTLE...THEY WILL CLAIM HOW IT FRESHENED THE AIR AND WAS SO THANKFULLY RECIEVED BY THE MOSITURE STARVED ROSES AND EASTER LILIES..WELL PILGRIM, I HOPE THEY ALSO REMARK THE SMELLS FROM THE RAIN ON THE HOT ASPHALT...NUFF TO TURN YOUR STOMACH...AND HOW IT MADE THE HOT SIDEWALKS STEAM AND SIZZLE....! I JUST HATE TO LEAVE THE COOL, AIR CONDITIONED HOUSE TO GET SOME RAIN ON MY TOUNGUE (LIKE THE KENNY ROGERS SONG) FOR IF YOU DO, THAT MOIST HEAT WILL GRAB YOU BY THE THROAT...STRANGLE YOU....SUDDENLY YOU START TO SWEAT SO PROFUSELY THAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOWN THERE IN THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA (DIDN'T THINK I COULD SPELL THAT WORD, DID'JA) ONLY A FEW MOMENTS OUT THERE AND YOU GLISTEN AND GLIMMER LIKE THE MAGIC MAN...YOUR 5 DAY DEOD/PAD NO LONGER HAS THE GUTT AND GUMPTION AS SO ADVERTISED TO KEEP YOU FRESH...EVEN THE OLD CHICKEN PARTS EATING ALLEY CAT RUNS OFF TO ESCAPE THE FUMES YOU'RE GENERATING....OKAY, HAVE YOU HEARD ENOUGH...WANNA HEAR HOW LONG WE BEEN WITHOUT MEASURABLE RAINFALL...STAY TUNED...I GOTTA GO FRESHEN UP. ONE SAD NOTE ARE THE POOR FOLKS UP NORTH IN FLAGSTAFF GETTING TOO MUCH RAIN ON TOP OF THE BURNED OFF AREAS FROM LAST MONTHS FOREST FIRES...CAN'T FIND ANY HUMOR FROM THOSE REPORTS....WHEN SHE GETS UP, I'LL TELL THE WIFE SOME OF THESE REMARKS AND SHE'LL ONLY GLOWER AT ME AND SAY IT WASN'T THAT BAD, WITH EMPHASIS ON 'BAD'!!!! WET 'N WILD WILLIE