In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa
I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.
There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache"
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick ba$%#rd."
The red cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan , I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the bottom of the garden.
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead, and realized she was just on standby.
Just Fostered a Muslim.
All 4 cans hit him right on the back of the head.
They've had to cancel the panto 'jack & the beanstalk',in Birmingham , Oldham, Bradford, Burnley , Leicester & Luton:
because the giant couldn't smell any Englishmen.
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Bradford, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 5.
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works a treat!
"A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks." --Thomas Jefferson, letter to Peter Carr, 1785
Last edited by dons2346; 01-22-2011 at 10:42 PM..