here is a drug problem our children need to have!!

[fleetwood1976]

I thought this letter to the editor was awesome.

[hogger129]

There was a drug problem when you guys were young, except that it wasn't like you could just make it anywhere with storebought stuff. It always came in from somewhere else.

[ampaterry]

I was in school in the 40's, 50's and 60's.

Yup - there were drugs.

We all KNEW about them, sometimes we even knew someone who had TRIED one.

And we were allways amazed that anyone could be THAT STUPID!!

That was just one of the benefits of growing up on a farm, outside of a small mid-western town.

[ampaterry]

GREAT post, Fleetwood - -

[JLA]

I believe I am one of the very few of my generation to be raised this way. I was raised by my great grandparents and grandmother (moms mom and grandparents) My mom and dad were far too young to be having kids so my grandmother (nan) and great grandparents (gramma and grampa) took over. My grampa used to take the wire end of the fly swatter to us as kids when we were insolent. That was his weapon of choice for discipline and it sure kept us in line. And at the same time grampa took the time to teach us things and spend time with us. Heck I was fixing my own bike at 5 years old, which incidentally led to me getting the wire end of the fly swatter for not putting my grampas tools back where I found them. I thought I had it rough when I was a kid because all my friends were allowed to run rampant and do what they wanted and there i was, stuck at home with daily chores and the wire end of the flyswatter ready for me if i didnt do them. But in hindsight, I believe I was the most fortunate kid in my neighborhood to have guardians that cared.

[tuckerd1]

I was "drugged" when I was growin up too! Raised ny boys that way too. Not enuf church on my part though. My wife took care of it while I was a slacker.

[Bobitis]

Boy do I ever hate this arguement.

I've never laid a hand on my child in anger or used discipline as an excuse to do so.
Maybe I'm the lucky one in a million, but I've never found a reason to do so. He's punched a couple holes in the wall in anger/fear/frustration when I was getting divorced, but spackle is cheap. Broke a window once by accident. Yippee. All of these thing were discussed like adults even tho he was a child at the time.

I got a call one day from the ex saying he'd been hit while riding his bike to school. I went right over to see him. When I got there, here BF took all his kids into the bedroom so we could talk. I guess they thought I was gonna go ballistic. Turns out that he was going too fast, it was raining, and his brakes didn't work well enough to stop him. HE hit the vehicle. Thankfully, the driver loaded up his bike and took him home. No harm (cept to the bike), no foul. Hardly reason for an outburst. Lesson learned.

He graduated HS a year early, and is very repectfull. But yer not gonna push him around. If he can puch a hole in the wall, yer face isn't gonna get in his way. He volunteers more to the community than anyone else I know. He's helped teach summer school for 4 years, and enforces at the PAX conventions (west and east coast) for more than 100 hours a year.

Is my child exceptional? Nope. Am I the best Dad on earth? Hardley.

Do I have the best son? Absolutely! I'd like to think I was part of that.

In my case, sparing the staff did not spoil my child. So forgive me if I see things a bit differently.

[ampaterry]

Different kids are different, Bob.

Sometimes, two kids in the SAME HOUSE require completely different handling.

And yes, I HAVE seen kids that never needed a hand raised to them; a word was sufficient. It does happen.

But when you have a kid that screams at their parents, that is completely out of hand when out in public, that throws temper tantrums if they don't get that toy they want -
They need corporal punishment, or they are going to come to a bad end -

[hunter29180]

JLA you are not alone..course just my Dad raised me but i was "drug" just as in the posting above. now i made my Dad really mad too many times to count..i was a typical "Preachers" son, dad was a baptist of the OLD time ways..and a Federal marshal to boot. I got to give him credit...he NEVER laid a finger,hand or whip on me when he was mad...i got a lecture!! AND BOY CAN A PREACHER LECTURE!! as he got cooled down and was calm enough he would tell me what my punishment was going to be...the next day..to ensure he was really over his mad..so Bobitis I know where you come from..even today both my kids will tell you ....Please just whip me so I dont have to listen to DAD!!
I felt the same way about my dad..but now i understand what he was teaching me..and i taught it to both my youngins!

[Bobitis]

Like I said, I hate this arguement.

Maybe my son understood the topic at hand? I dunno. All I know is he's never required more than a discussion concerning his behaviour.

I remember Dad haveing a bad day at work. He came home and busted my younger brothers butt because he couldn't tell time by the hands on a clock. I'll never forget that day. He spanked him over and over when he couldn't him what time it was. I'll never forget that day.

I guess I am the lucky one. Or maybe my son.

[fleetwood1976]

I am 35 and I had an absentee dad, he was always at the Elks club drinking and playing cards, My grandpa was the father figure and taught me old school. I got less of the ear pull and more of the Pointy toed cowboy boot and belt treatment, but every time it was well deserved and to this day I love my dad but I revere and respect my grandpa. and thank him for caring to spending the time to teach and correct me along the way. I call him today at 80 years old for advice on things.

[HunterAlpha1]

the Bible says: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son, but he chaseneth him he loveth". you may have been lucky enough to have one of the rare kids that never needs to be spanked, but you still punished him for wrongdoing, right? i wasn't one of those kids, but my sister was. i needed a ton more spankings than i got, but my mom backed down because my grandparents threatened to kick her out if she spanked me. i can guarantee you, i would have been a much happier child, then teenager, and now adult, if my mom had spanked me when i needed it.

now, there is a difference between spanking and abuse. never touch your child when you're angry. cool down first, explain to them what they did wrong and why you're spanking them, then carry out the punishment in a cool and disciplined manner. then hold your child until the tears dry, tell him how much you love him, then send him off to play.

[Bobitis]

Originally Posted by HunterAlpha1

the Bible says: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son, but he chaseneth him he loveth". you may have been lucky enough to have one of the rare kids that never needs to be spanked, but you still punished him for wrongdoing, right? i wasn't one of those kids, but my sister was. i needed a ton more spankings than i got, but my mom backed down because my grandparents threatened to kick her out if she spanked me. i can guarantee you, i would have been a much happier child, then teenager, and now adult, if my mom had spanked me when i needed it.

now, there is a difference between spanking and abuse. never touch your child when you're angry. cool down first, explain to them what they did wrong and why you're spanking them, then carry out the punishment in a cool and disciplined manner. then hold your child until the tears dry, tell him how much you love him, then send him off to play.

THIS is why I loathe this topic. The Bible says if I don't punish my child, I hate him? Are you serious?

Cool down and then administer the punishment? That's disciplined? Hit yer kid and then ya tell 'em ya love them? Go play now?

And yer kids grow up believing this is how ta raise children.


I'm outta here.

[fleetwood1976]

I don't think it's a matter of how physical the punishment is but more that someone is there to stop the bad behavior and explain why it is wrong and correct it.

[HunterAlpha1]

Originally Posted by Bobitis

THIS is why I loathe this topic. The Bible says if I don't punish my child, I hate him? Are you serious?

Cool down and then administer the punishment? That's disciplined? Hit yer kid and then ya tell 'em ya love them? Go play now?

And yer kids grow up believing this is how ta raise children.


I'm outta here.

so you didn't discipline your child at all, just let him do what he wanted? i'm starting to doubt all the positive things you've said about your kid, because no child who wasn't punished in some way or other when they were bad has ever grown up happy. most kids have to be spanked, a rare few don't.

the Bible sometimes doesn't make sense from our human point of view, so we have to have a little faith. but the results are the same: disciplined children are happy children, but undisciplined children are miserable children who grow up into miserable adults(me)

[JLA]

Originally Posted by Bobitis

THIS is why I loathe this topic. The Bible says if I don't punish my child, I hate him? Are you serious?

Cool down and then administer the punishment? That's disciplined? Hit yer kid and then ya tell 'em ya love them? Go play now?

And yer kids grow up believing this is how ta raise children.


I'm outta here.

Come on now bob. I dont think anyone is attacking you here. I have been raising children for 9 years now. and every one of my kids requires a different type of punishment to get thru to them. I learned from the way I was raised and have adapted my grandfathers thinking to raising my own children.

You simply did the same. You learned from the way your father raised you and your sibs and took a different route, and theres nothing wrong with that. I think you are very fortunate to have had a child that didnt require corporal punishment growing up, Ill be honest with you, Im jealous. I take no pleasure at all in spanking my kids. believe me, it hurts. Id give anything if their personalities allowed talking to work, and it does sometimes, but most often than not its the paddle that gets thru to them. Its not a common occurence in my house for the paddle to come off the wall, but when it does its deserved.

And after punishment is dealt and the tears have dried, I make sure I talk to my kids and help them understand why they were spanked and how to prevent future spankings. It works, 100% it works. Autumn and JR get it, they are getting to a point where they know whats right and whats wrong and they make good decisions, wesley is my youngest and is still learning, but hes getting there. Hopefully by the time My oldest is 10, I can retire the paddle alltogether and the talking will work.

[hunter29180]

HunterAlpha1..dont put words in Bobitis mouth. he never said his child was never disiplined. your disipline seems to be diffrent than his..i dont see that as a problem..so dont "force" your ideas down his throught..RESPECT his opinion even if you disagree!

Bye the way..dont believe MY bible says "He who spareth the rod hateth his son."..mine says "Spare the rod SPOIL the child" please referance the chapter and verse you refer to please?? thank you

[HunterAlpha1]

Originally Posted by hunter29180

HunterAlpha1..dont put words in Bobitis mouth. he never said his child was never disiplined. your disipline seems to be diffrent than his..i dont see that as a problem..so dont "force" your ideas down his throught..RESPECT his opinion even if you disagree!

Bye the way..dont believe MY bible says "He who spareth the rod hateth his son."..mine says "Spare the rod SPOIL the child" please referance the chapter and verse you refer to please?? thank you

http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Proverbs-13-24/

Proverbs 13:24
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

got a little mixed up on the exact words, sorry about that.

i did not intend to put words in bob's mouth, i simply replied with the same attitude as he did. i know, i know, "a soft answer turneth away wrath", but it's just so darn hard sometimes.

[hunter29180]

Originally Posted by Bobitis

Boy do I ever hate this arguement.

I've never laid a hand on my child in anger or used discipline as an excuse to do so.

NP HunterAlpha1..Please,notice he said he never laid a hand on the child in anger OR used discipline as an excuse to lay a hand in anger. he pointed out his DAD had,, he did not indicate he NEVER used proper disipline. just he never allowed anger to be a part of the displine.

"I remember Dad haveing a bad day at work. He came home and busted my younger brothers butt because he couldn't tell time by the hands on a clock."

his dad used disipline as a excuse to vent his anger on a son who had no part in his anger.

sometime we need to really read through the posts..i make the same mistake also..

[HunterAlpha1]

indeed, look at my first post in this thread: "never touch(spank) your child when you're angry". if you start spanking your kid when you're superpissed and near-homicidal it's too easy to start hitting and not stop until the kid is all over the wallpaper

[hunter29180]

AMEN! and i believe that what Bobitis was getting at..