Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
Wouldn't you know it.... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Donít pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he will just kill you.