Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN - The Firearms Forum

aero · 07-17-2012, 01:56 PM

Your Starship Enterprise Captain might be a redneck if....

Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month

He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"

He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen

He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it

He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser

He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"

He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

He paints the starship John Deere green

He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"

He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"

His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale

His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls

He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge

He sets phaser to "Cajun"

`

berto64 · 07-17-2012, 04:31 PM

Hahahaha! (I love this!)

Haligan · 07-17-2012, 04:50 PM

That's funny ! In these, the most serious of, times thanks for posting that. I needed a good laugh.

skullfr · 07-17-2012, 04:58 PM

forgot one important one-right before warp speed engagement he says "hold my beer and watch this"

Sig Willy · 07-17-2012, 08:34 PM

"Neelix! Is my spacekill cooked yet?"

Buckshot · 07-18-2012, 03:03 AM

They ain't Klingons, they's Yankees!

07-17-2012, 01:56 PM	#1
aero V.I.P. Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 228	Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN Your Starship Enterprise Captain might be a redneck if.... Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob" He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies" He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage" He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba" He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster" He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens He paints the starship John Deere green He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special" He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp" His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge He sets phaser to "Cajun" ` -->

07-17-2012, 04:31 PM	#2
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,388	Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN Hahahaha! (I love this!) __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.

07-17-2012, 04:50 PM	#3
Haligan Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: FEMA Region II Posts: 1,900	Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN That's funny ! In these, the most serious of, times thanks for posting that. I needed a good laugh. __________________ "He who knows nothing is closer to the truth than he whose mind is filled with falshoods and errors." - Thomas Jefferson

07-17-2012, 04:58 PM	#4
skullfr Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Beaumont,Texas Posts: 902	Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN forgot one important one-right before warp speed engagement he says "hold my beer and watch this" __________________ If Ya cant stand up stand out There is no atheist in a foxhole Psalms 144:1 Blessed be the Lord my strength,which teacheth my hand to war and my fingers to fight

07-17-2012, 08:34 PM	#5
Sig Willy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 565	Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN "Neelix! Is my spacekill cooked yet?"

07-18-2012, 03:03 AM	#6
Buckshot Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Southern AZ Posts: 882	Re: Redneck . . . STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN They ain't Klingons, they's Yankees!