1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't
teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to
teach those same kids all about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons
technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected
by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and
more affected by yuppies driving SUVs'!
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support
abortion on demand..
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but
loony activists from Seattle do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt leaders of other countries,
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good,
because it supports certain parts of the constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem
are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson,
General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress"
and not power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic
system of governing that we've been subject to.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't
worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people
haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and
you would vote him back in there in a New York minute (if you
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying
drag, transvestites and beastiality should be constitutionally
protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by
the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United
21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who
protest against prayer and saluting the flag in school have far
more rights than the majority who believe in God and country
and want these values to be instilled in our young children
If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs -- you're
gonna be a big asset to John Kerry