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Old 09-16-2012, 05:08 PM   #1
polishshooter
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Default Dilemma...

Just before she left for Seattle for the birth of our Granddaughter, my wife stocked the house with food and also 3 cases of beer, and told me "that should last you until I get home." I of course agreed without thinking.

FOOTBALL!

That was a week ago Wednesday, the 5th.

I just finished my second case. Not that I can't just go buy another, we are not destiture, but I would also have to explain it since she checks our bank accounts and balance daily...and thinks I drink too much (she isn't Polish, she doesn't get it..)

Can I help it if opening day NFL the Bills sucked so I drank more than normal?

And today they not only won but looked great doing it, so I drank more than normal??


I either have to endure the "wrath of a great woman scorned," drink less between now and when she comes back on the 8th, find a way to "obscure" a purchase in the receipts, or sell some guns....
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:12 PM   #2
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Hmm - dilemma - I think I'd keep the guns, finish off the last case then sleep until she got home - either that or I'd offer to mow a neighbors lawn for cash for more beer
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Oh yea make that old lady happy.

Well after 15 -20 years no matter what i did made her happy. So she got caught up with another guy.

So now i look back at all the beers i could have had and all the women i could have had but passed up for her so we could grow old together.

I wouldn't go asking another guy if its ok to drink another beer if you want to stay married.

You know there is a house in New Orleans they call the rising sun.......
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:25 PM   #4
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Default Re: Dilemma...

HOME BREW
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:25 PM   #5
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Ah, I'm not worried...Kinda like the Viagra commercial "We've reached the age we make things happen..."
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:32 PM   #6
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Here ya go

enjoy yourself, its like that other hotel, you can check out but you can never leave.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0-czS8PTBU
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:49 PM   #7
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Default Re: Dilemma...

DO NOT SELL THE GUNS!

Myself personally i'd go buy more beer. My wife and I have an understanding, we get whatever we want, whenever we want without having to ask one and other. As long as the bills are paid and theres money to be spent.
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:52 PM   #8
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Default Re: Dilemma...

just start checking between the cushions for loose change

Hey another thought. If you have a whirlpool built dryer, take the front off and check for money in there too. Seriously if you guys don't empty your pockets, a whilrpool will suck in your loose change like a slot machine
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Old 09-16-2012, 05:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Loose change?

Really at this point in the game i say just go buy the beer and heck with her. For Christ sake look at what bozo has stolen out of your checkbook and what he will be.

In fact what the heck are we saving the planet for anyway? The liberals? If they dont take over today they will eventually get it and run the world into the ground. I throw my trash out the truck window now. I dont care, i aint saving it for them.

Get drunk. Yea i know im in mood. I should just go to bed.
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Old 09-16-2012, 06:07 PM   #10
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Oh I'm for just buying the beer too. But he wanted ideas, I'm just throwing out suggestions.
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Old 09-16-2012, 06:29 PM   #11
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Simple, pshooter.....
Buy a 1.75 litre of Gin and some grapefruit juice [greyhound]
and nurse the beers in between......
Technically, you have done nothing wrong......
If she gets home and calls you out on the 'you knew what
I meant' provision of the 'contract'......
then use the Viagra......just be sure first.....don't waste it...
er, I mean use it if you don't need to.
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Old 09-16-2012, 06:34 PM   #12
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Easy.. Do all the laundry and dishes. scrub the toilets and go out and buy her a nice addition to her jewelry collection. Then when she returns present her with her gift and she will notice the unusually clean house and ask what happened. simply tell her your bills ( ) did amazing in week 2 so you felt compelled to celebrate and thought she might like a gorgeous new (whatever) and while you were out, on her bahalf of course, you just thought it would be a good idea to grab and extra case or 2 of beer so you wouldnt have to worry about running out any time soon..

I know its a 300 dollar fix for a 20 dollar problem but itll work!
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Old 09-16-2012, 06:54 PM   #13
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Oh I got it figured out.

Cross the damm bridge when you get there (after all, I'm not out YET.)

Knowing that WHATEVER I do when I get there she will figure out. After 32 years we know each other almost TOO well....

Also knowing that there is very little I can do that will make her stay mad too long anyway...

Plus make sure I don't save any itemized reciepts!!!
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Old 09-16-2012, 07:20 PM   #14
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Prolly the safe move. Heck she might show up with 3 more cases when she gets home if she knows you that well.
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Old 09-16-2012, 07:26 PM   #15
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Default Re: Dilemma...

I know, find a diamond shop that will kick in a keg if you buy her a nice rock. Then watch her smile when she looks at the monthly statement.
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Old 09-16-2012, 07:43 PM   #16
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Just go buy some more beer. Im polish too and yes I must have my beer!

Last edited by gun runner; 09-16-2012 at 07:53 PM..
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Old 09-16-2012, 07:48 PM   #17
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Quote:
Originally Posted by polishshooter View Post
Just before she left for Seattle for the birth of our Granddaughter, my wife stocked the house with food and also 3 cases of beer, and told me "that should last you until I get home." I of course agreed without thinking.

FOOTBALL!

That was a week ago Wednesday, the 5th.

I just finished my second case. Not that I can't just go buy another, we are not destiture, but I would also have to explain it since she checks our bank accounts and balance daily...and thinks I drink too much (she isn't Polish, she doesn't get it..)

Can I help it if opening day NFL the Bills sucked so I drank more than normal?

And today they not only won but looked great doing it, so I drank more than normal??


I either have to endure the "wrath of a great woman scorned," drink less between now and when she comes back on the 8th, find a way to "obscure" a purchase in the receipts, or sell some guns....
Ben Franklin once said, "beer is proof GOD wants us to be happy". Ben's not here to argue the point, and if he was right, you surely do not want to offend GOD by not being happy. I think it is your moral obligation to buy beer and be happy, or the suffer the consequences.
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Old 09-16-2012, 08:59 PM   #18
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Eureka! It hit me after my second trip to crush the cans from just TODAY!


One of the things I have to accomplish off the "Honey-Do" list before they copme home is to clean the garage, since they will be storing stuff in it for awhile again...

SOMEWHERE in there is another couple of garbage bags filled with my crushed cans!

Time for the scrapyard!

.45/lb, .55/lb if I have over 50 lbs...


Just call me an "Enviro-Capitalist!"
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Old 09-16-2012, 09:22 PM   #19
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Default Re: Dilemma...

i'm with ozo on the gin. but buy some white raisins also. gin soaked raisins are good for arthritis. just soak them really, really heavy.
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Old 09-17-2012, 12:16 AM   #20
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Default Re: Dilemma...

My experience tells me NOTHING will keep her mad after holding a new grandbaby.
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Old 09-17-2012, 12:52 AM   #21
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Default Re: Dilemma...

to hell with gin. Get some Whiskey! Wild Turkey mmmmmmmmm
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:52 PM   #22
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Easy Polish, do what I do....brew your' own beer. It is easy and fun and the beer is better that storebought.

Or just tell your' wife you are the man of the house and needed some beer, Damnit!!
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Old 09-19-2012, 11:48 PM   #23
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Default Re: Dilemma...

3 cases of beer! Well that takes care of breakfast, lunch and dinner for the first day. What are you supposed to do after that? A man could starve.
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:13 AM   #24
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Default Re: Dilemma...

Hmm Polish - you're aluminum can find is definitely a winner! Plus you get 'good boy' points for getting the stuff out of the garage. While you're in there, any stuff you want to sell for a garage sale? Have one. Just make sure you don't sell any of HER stuff! Don't sell anything that is not 100% yours - only stuff that is yours and she has never used and doesn't even pay attention to the fact that you have it. Excess tools are a good example.

Then, off you go to buy more beer

Oh yes, remember that beer is liquid bread, so, you do have to have food right?
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Old 09-20-2012, 12:47 AM   #25
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Default Re: Dilemma...

you could say that you had some friends over that didn't come prepared so they drank your stash! Gotta buy more!

but honey, I hardly drank ANY of them! my buddies cleaned me out!

(this is coming from the guy who is drinking soju right now so I recommend you scrutinize my advice heavily, hahaha!)
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