A little levity, anyone? - The Firearms Forum

4EvrLearning · 03-09-2009, 12:39 AM

Lincoln and Obama are very much alike:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the same Bible.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois. Obama comes from Illinois.

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President.

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration.

6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

7. Lincoln was a Republican. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln was highly respected. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln was born in the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln was called Honest Abe. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

Vladimir · 03-09-2009, 01:24 AM

Oh and Abraham Lincoln wasn't very fond of blacks. I love revisionist history

it makes us all feel so warm and fuzzy inside!

1shot1k · 03-09-2009, 01:28 AM

Hello mam...got that also otherday and also included one I am putting in here...

hope u had good visit,,,if not over...hope all is well with kids....

E. R. Solution

EMERGENCY ROOM....

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for four hours, I put on my old Force fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.

Cut at least three hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

It also works well if you ever have to use a laundromat.

artabr · 03-09-2009, 01:31 AM

Skinny in the old days would translate to being not very good.

Good one, 4Evr.

Art

4EvrLearning · 03-09-2009, 01:42 AM

LOL 1shot!

Thank you for asking about our visit with our daughter and her hubby...they leave LATE tomorrow night

It's been much too short of a visit, of course, but we are so thankful to have been able to spend time with them...love on 'em...see them together and happy.

Sorry to hear that your weekend didn't turn out quite as you'd hoped...but also share in your thankfulness that what could have been a really bad situation, wasn't!

4EvrLearning · 03-09-2009, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artabr

Skinny in the old days would translate to being not very good.

well.... if the shoe fits!

1shot1k · 03-09-2009, 01:50 AM

Also while "levitating".

am sure you remember the strange but wierd "facts" that talk abou the similairities or oddities between Lincoln and Kennedy.....

ie..from memory...

Lincoln shot in theater-shooter hid in whhouse
Kennedy shot from whhouse-shooter hid in thtre

both vp were "Johnson"
both told not to make trip
etc.....
but saw one while back...dont know if true....

-day before , Lincoln had been in Monroe, Maryland

-day before Kennedy had been in.......

4EvrLearning · 03-09-2009, 01:52 AM

1shot!!!!!!!!!!!!

artabr · 03-09-2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1shot1k

Hello mam...got that also otherday and also included one I am putting in here...

hope u had good visit,,,if not over...hope all is well with kids....

E. R. Solution

EMERGENCY ROOM....

The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room.

Not wanting to sit there for four hours, I put on my old Force fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.

Cut at least three hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

It also works well if you ever have to use a laundromat.

Back in the 80's in Austin, Tx., I worked in a shop that made leaded glass entry doors. We had 14 employees, 3 of whom spoke english.
Because of our location in a bad part of town (east side) we had a 8' tall cyclone fence topped with rolled razor wire.
One day a Texas DPS trooper (state) decided he wanted a new front door for his house.
He stops by the shop in full uniform. The owner, not thinking (as usual) brings the trooper into the shop to show him the manufacturing process.

I've never seen a place empty so fast. There were strips of cloth all over the top of that fence.
The cop is bent over, killing himself laughing, the 3 of us left were just dumfounded.
The owner looks at the trooper kinda sheepishly and says "I think your wait time just increased". True story

Art

Vladimir · 03-09-2009, 02:15 AM

Did they show up the next morning for work?

1shot1k · 03-09-2009, 02:24 AM

Yea artabr..you know I believe you...

when still a teen...asked to help one of my fathers deacons who owned a landscapeing business....I offered to work all day a saturday...running a ditchwitch thing ....

well..the I30 runs tween ft worth/dallas used to be a size toll road...and eventually paid for itself and now is open....but was toll then and I was in back with 7 of his workers with supvsr drivin...

an old, big DPS pulled him over...got all 7 out..and as I was steppin out..still remember him lookin at me and bellowin " son, get back in there and sit down...."

he wound up takin all 7 after van got there...!

, well , me and supvr got to site and time we got there..there was 10 new guys ready to go to work.....same song...new verse....

TranterUK · 03-09-2009, 02:29 AM

My wife was visiting friends in London. A casual aquantance called in and asked to use her computer for a minute to check something out. To her friends horror, the visitor started to suggest running prostitutes was very profitable and that they should consider going into business.

My wife, leaning over the visitor said, 'that's the same lap top we use in the police station'.

Visitor departs with wife holding door!

1shot1k · 03-09-2009, 02:33 AM

If I can get in once to beat artabr..."any pics..?"

artabr · 03-09-2009, 02:48 AM

I was going to say something about thread drift but I got to thinking, lawyers to prostitutes isn't that much of a drift is it?

Besides I think I started the drift anyhow (as usual)

Art

4EvrLearning · 03-09-2009, 02:55 AM

lol Art...between your drifting and 1shot's levitating...who knows where we'll land!!

I was just enjoying the "light" moments... (no pun intended)....

1shot1k · 03-09-2009, 02:55 AM

"thread drift "...wow...I like that...

is that one of them terms you get to use after say...1000 posts....?

u got a point though..I guess we should stick with the topic at hand and not deviate.....

Lawyers -

..................I pass......

45nut · 03-09-2009, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artabr

I was going to say something about thread drift but I got to thinking, lawyers to prostitutes isn't that much of a drift is it?

Besides I think I started the drift anyhow (as usual)

Art

Well, at least with one of them, you'll enjoy the process!

03-09-2009, 12:39 AM	#1
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	A little levity, anyone? Lincoln and Obama are very much alike: 1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used the same Bible. 2. Lincoln came from Illinois. Obama comes from Illinois. 3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the Illinois Legislature. 4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had very little experience before becoming President. 5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his inauguration. 6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 7. Lincoln was a Republican. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 8. Lincoln was highly respected. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 9. Lincoln was born in the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer. 10. Lincoln was called Honest Abe. Obama is a skinny lawyer. __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)* -->

03-09-2009, 01:24 AM	#2
Vladimir Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Issaquah WA Posts: 3,558	Re: A little levity, anyone? Oh and Abraham Lincoln wasn't very fond of blacks. I love revisionist history it makes us all feel so warm and fuzzy inside! __________________ -JVRR меня зовут Владимир или Джеймс. Я знаю только немного русский язык (я американец, но мой пра дедушка русски). STEAM (CSS, TF2, etc): Ask me! Xbox LIVE! GT: "Vlad is Rad" PS3 PSN: "Vlad_Is_Rad"

03-09-2009, 01:28 AM	#3
1shot1k Former Guest Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 904	Re: A little levity, anyone? Hello mam...got that also otherday and also included one I am putting in here... hope u had good visit,,,if not over...hope all is well with kids.... E. R. Solution EMERGENCY ROOM.... The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for four hours, I put on my old Force fatigues and stuck a patch that I had downloaded off the Internet onto the front of my shirt. When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least three hours off my waiting time. Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service. It also works well if you ever have to use a laundromat. Attached Images

03-09-2009, 01:31 AM	#4
artabr Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Iberia, Louisiana Contributor Posts: 7,859	Re: A little levity, anyone? Skinny in the old days would translate to being not very good. Good one, 4Evr. Art __________________ God and the soldier we like adore, In times of trouble, not before. When troubles ended and all things righted, God is forgotten and the soldier is slighted. Francis Quarles 1592 - 1644 __________________ When asked for my race, I answer CauCajun. Hope is not a plan, and not all change is good. The resistance is here; the resistance is now. RESIST! These hands are neither cold nor are they dead!!

03-09-2009, 01:42 AM	#5
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	Re: A little levity, anyone? LOL 1shot! Thank you for asking about our visit with our daughter and her hubby...they leave LATE tomorrow night It's been much too short of a visit, of course, but we are so thankful to have been able to spend time with them...love on 'em...see them together and happy. Sorry to hear that your weekend didn't turn out quite as you'd hoped...but also share in your thankfulness that what could have been a really bad situation, wasn't! __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)*

03-09-2009, 01:50 AM	#7
1shot1k Former Guest Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 904	Re: A little levity, anyone? Also while "levitating". am sure you remember the strange but wierd "facts" that talk abou the similairities or oddities between Lincoln and Kennedy..... ie..from memory... Lincoln shot in theater-shooter hid in whhouse Kennedy shot from whhouse-shooter hid in thtre both vp were "Johnson" both told not to make trip etc..... but saw one while back...dont know if true.... -day before , Lincoln had been in Monroe, Maryland -day before Kennedy had been in.......

03-09-2009, 01:52 AM	#8
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	Re: A little levity, anyone? 1shot!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)*

03-09-2009, 02:15 AM	#10
Vladimir Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Issaquah WA Posts: 3,558	Re: A little levity, anyone? Did they show up the next morning for work? __________________ -JVRR меня зовут Владимир или Джеймс. Я знаю только немного русский язык (я американец, но мой пра дедушка русски). STEAM (CSS, TF2, etc): Ask me! Xbox LIVE! GT: "Vlad is Rad" PS3 PSN: "Vlad_Is_Rad"

03-09-2009, 02:24 AM	#11
1shot1k Former Guest Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 904	Re: A little levity, anyone? Yea artabr..you know I believe you... when still a teen...asked to help one of my fathers deacons who owned a landscapeing business....I offered to work all day a saturday...running a ditchwitch thing .... well..the I30 runs tween ft worth/dallas used to be a size toll road...and eventually paid for itself and now is open....but was toll then and I was in back with 7 of his workers with supvsr drivin... an old, big DPS pulled him over...got all 7 out..and as I was steppin out..still remember him lookin at me and bellowin " son, get back in there and sit down...." he wound up takin all 7 after van got there...! , well , me and supvr got to site and time we got there..there was 10 new guys ready to go to work.....same song...new verse....

03-09-2009, 02:29 AM	#12
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: A little levity, anyone? My wife was visiting friends in London. A casual aquantance called in and asked to use her computer for a minute to check something out. To her friends horror, the visitor started to suggest running prostitutes was very profitable and that they should consider going into business. My wife, leaning over the visitor said, 'that's the same lap top we use in the police station'. Visitor departs with wife holding door! __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way! Last edited by TranterUK; 03-09-2009 at 02:31 AM..

03-09-2009, 02:33 AM	#13
1shot1k Former Guest Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 904	Re: A little levity, anyone? If I can get in once to beat artabr..."any pics..?"

03-09-2009, 02:48 AM	#14
artabr Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Iberia, Louisiana Contributor Posts: 7,859	Re: A little levity, anyone? I was going to say something about thread drift but I got to thinking, lawyers to prostitutes isn't that much of a drift is it? Besides I think I started the drift anyhow (as usual) Art __________________ God and the soldier we like adore, In times of trouble, not before. When troubles ended and all things righted, God is forgotten and the soldier is slighted. Francis Quarles 1592 - 1644 __________________ When asked for my race, I answer CauCajun. Hope is not a plan, and not all change is good. The resistance is here; the resistance is now. RESIST! These hands are neither cold nor are they dead!!

03-09-2009, 02:55 AM	#15
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	Re: A little levity, anyone? lol Art...between your drifting and 1shot's levitating...who knows where we'll land!! I was just enjoying the "light" moments... (no pun intended).... __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)*

03-09-2009, 02:55 AM	#16
1shot1k Former Guest Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 904	Re: A little levity, anyone? "thread drift "...wow...I like that... is that one of them terms you get to use after say...1000 posts....? u got a point though..I guess we should stick with the topic at hand and not deviate..... Lawyers - ..................I pass......