Mustard story - The Firearms Forum

Bruce FLinch · 04-15-2006, 10:10 PM

This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to
This father.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table In our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my Wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard. I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.. It was the first and only time I Have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my
tongue

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . 'Poupon'."

southernshooter · 04-15-2006, 10:41 PM

SouthernMoss · 04-15-2006, 10:56 PM

Marlin · 04-16-2006, 08:22 AM

Oh, my Lord........

04-15-2006, 10:10 PM	#1
Bruce FLinch Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point Posts: 5,016	Mustard story This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to This father.) As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table In our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my Wife suddenly at my side. "Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster.. It was the first and only time I Have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . 'Poupon'." __________________ A bad day @ the Range, is better than a good day @ work. -->

04-15-2006, 10:41 PM	#2
southernshooter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Deep South Mississippi Posts: 5,943	Re: Mustard story __________________ Only you can see this

04-15-2006, 10:56 PM	#3
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: Mustard story __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

04-16-2006, 08:22 AM	#4
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	Re: Mustard story Oh, my Lord........ __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*