Aviators

[Bruce FLinch]

For marlinT
borrowed from the Canard Aviator website


ORIGIN OF THE WORD AVIATOR
This explains it all. As aviators, we come from a long line of a
secret society, formed around one thousand years ago. We are warriors,
and here is the proof! Ground pounders can read it and weep!

A little known fact is the origin of the word,"Aviator." In the
immortal words of Johnny Carson: "I did not know that."

Phu Khen (pronounced Foo Kin) 1169-? is considered by some to be the
most under-recognized military officer in history. Many have never
heard of his contributions to modern military warfare. The mission of
this secret society is to bring honor to the name of Phu Khen.

A 'Khen' was a subordinate to a 'Khan' (pronounced 'konn') in the
military structure of the Mongol hordes. Khan is Mongol for leader.

Most know of the great Genghis Khan, but little has been written of
his chain of command. Khen is also of Mongol origin. Although there is
not a word in English that adequately conveys the meaning. Roughly
translated, it means, "One who will do the impossible, while appearing
unprepared and complaining constantly."

Phu Khen was one of ten Khens that headed the divisions, or groups of
hordes, as they were known, of the Mongol Army serving under Genghis
Khan. His abilities came to light during the Mongols' raids on the
Turkistan city of Bohicaroo. Bohicans were fierce warriors and the
city was well fortified. The entire city was protected by huge walls
and the hordes were at a standoff with the Bohicans. Bohicaroo was
well-stocked and it would be difficult to wait them out. Genghis Khan
assembled his Khens and ordered each of them to develop a plan for
penetrating the defenses of Bohicaroo.

Operation Achieve Victory (AV) was born. All 10 divisions of Khens
submitted their plan. After reviewing AV plans 1 thru 7 and finding
them all unworkable or ridiculous, Genghis Khan was understandably
upset.

It was with much perspiration that Phu Khen submitted his idea, which
came to be known as AV 8. Upon seeing AV 8, Genghis was convinced this
was the perfect plan and gave his immediate approval, ignoring the
rest of the plans. The plan was beautifully simple. Phu Khen would arm
his hordes to the teeth, load them into catapults, and hurl them over
the wall. The losses were expected to be high, but hey, hordes were
cheap! Those that survived the flight would engage the enemy in
combat. Those that did not? Well, surely their flailing bodies would
cause some damage.

The plan worked and the Bohicans were defeated. From that day on,
whenever the Mongol Army encountered an insurmountable enemy, Genghis
Khan would give the order, "Send some of Phu Khen's AV 8-ers." This
is believed, though not by anyone outside our secret society, to be
the true origin of the word Aviator (AV 8-er).

Phu Khen's AV 8-ers were understandably an unruly mob, not likely to
be socially acceptable. Many were heavy drinkers and insomniacs. But
when nothing else would do, you could always could always count on an
AV 8-er. A Phu Khen Aviator. Denied, perhaps rightfully so, his place
in history, Phu Khen has been, nonetheless, immortalized in poetry.

As the great poet Norman Lear never once said:

"There once was a man named Phu Khen,
Whose breakfast was whiskey and gin.
Before e'er he'd fly, he'd give a loud war cry:
Bend over, it's comin' ag'in."

Consider it an honor to be a Phu Khen Aviator. Wear the mantle
proudly, but speak of it cautiously. It is not always popular to be
one of us.

You hear mystical references, often in hushed whispers, of 'those Phu
Khen Aviators.' Do not let these things bother you. As with any secret
society, we go largely misunderstood, prohibited by our apathy from
explaining ourselves.

You are expected to always live down to the reputation of the Phu Khen
Aviator... a reputation cultivated for centuries, undaunted by scorn
or ridicule, unhindered by progress. So drink up, be crude, sleep
late, urinate in public, and get the job done.

While others are offended, you can revel in the knowledge that YOU are
a PHU KHEN AVIATOR!

Now you know....