Air Traffic Controller... - The Firearms Forum

glocknut · 06-10-2009, 06:02 PM

During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C and a D, but get it right."

Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "You've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?"

Naturally, the "ground control" frequency went terribly silent until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?"

USMC-03 · 06-10-2009, 06:19 PM

I heard one similar except it was with a British Airways flight into Frankfurt International. After the air traffic controller berated the pilot for going the wrong way he asked, "Haven't you ever flown here before?!"

"Yes, twice," the pilot replied, "It was 1943 and I didn't land."

ilovenxstage · 06-10-2009, 09:15 PM

One of my favourites:

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport."

06-10-2009, 06:02 PM	#1
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Air Traffic Controller... During a taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between a C and a D, but get it right." Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "You've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?" Naturally, the "ground control" frequency went terribly silent until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?" __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone.... -->

06-10-2009, 06:19 PM	#2
USMC-03 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest Posts: 1,825	Re: Air Traffic Controller... I heard one similar except it was with a British Airways flight into Frankfurt International. After the air traffic controller berated the pilot for going the wrong way he asked, "Haven't you ever flown here before?!" "Yes, twice," the pilot replied, "It was 1943 and I didn't land." __________________ Let not the rifles of good and free men be reforged into plowshares, but may they rest in a place of honor; ready, well oiled and God willing unused. For if the price of peace becomes licking the boots of tyrants, then "To Arms!" I say, and may the fortunes of war smile upon patriots. - Fortes Fortuna Javat -

06-10-2009, 09:15 PM	#3
ilovenxstage V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 147	Re: Air Traffic Controller... One of my favourites: A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport." __________________ 1938 Mosin Nagant 91/30 H. Schmidt 22 revolver Heritage Rough Rider .22 revolver Marlin 25 .22 rifle NEF Pardner 12ga shotgun Winchester 1200 12ga shotgun CVA Buckhorn .50 muzzleloader "A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher knife...or a harpoon, or......an alligator!" -Homer Simpson "Don't push it under the rug, don't forget it, because it's going to happen again." -Josephine Harris, 9/11 survivor