The Dark Sucker Theory - The Firearms Forum

Gabob · 08-14-2009, 09:40 PM

I stole this from my son

The Dark Sucker Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove
that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.
There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The
larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.
Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck
dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot
on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing
all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to
the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because
it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage
Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied
or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating
Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel
into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were
to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.
But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave
the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.

358 winchester · 08-14-2009, 09:42 PM

OH BROTHER Not Again

kutaho · 08-14-2009, 09:44 PM

Don't you belong to this club/?

Mr. Nameless · 08-14-2009, 10:55 PM

Okay, the long white bus is gonna take you on a trip now. You will be gone for a very long time. Oh and say hey to Glocknut for me.

4EvrLearning · 08-15-2009, 01:06 AM

terrific twist....reminds me of a few high-profile "spinners" I know....

jacksonco · 08-15-2009, 03:07 AM

Your son is a very imaginative and talented writer. He needs to get copy right then send it to some one. I could see that as a plot for a children's book.

Maximilian II · 08-15-2009, 04:58 AM

Nice, I always wondered about that.

kingchip · 08-15-2009, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jacksonco

Your son is a very imaginative and talented writer. He needs to get copy right then send it to some one. I could see that as a plot for a children's book.

Childrens book, my azz. He could send this to DC and get a Czar position.

Suwannee Tim · 08-15-2009, 06:36 AM

I have a similar theory about air and water. Air is vaporized water. That is the reason that, whenever you are paddling downriver you are always going into a headwind. The water flows downstream, the air flows upstream, back to where it came.

Suicide*Ride · 08-15-2009, 08:34 AM

I like how your son thinks Bob.

At the top of the list of dark suckers - a black hole.

SR

358 winchester · 08-15-2009, 10:19 AM

I know his son and like I told him over the phone last night.

" PUT THE PIPE DOWN & STEP BACK IT HAS TAKEN CONTROL"

What ever you do do not get into a conversation with him about if we live in some ones fish bowl or only are alive in a computer program, y'all be there for weeks

Love him like a brother!!

hkruss · 08-15-2009, 10:29 AM

I want some of what he has been drinking!!!

Trouble 45-70 · 08-15-2009, 04:09 PM

Many years ago I read an article on Dark Theory and I wrote it down by hand. I lost it in one of my moves. If anyone has a copy, this would be a great place to post it. I may have seen it in a copy of Compressed Air or Spectrum the IEE journal.

08-14-2009, 09:40 PM	#1
Gabob Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: SW GA CSA Posts: 1,161	The Dark Sucker Theory I stole this from my son The Dark Sucker Theory For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light. First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room. So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range. There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle. Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker. __________________ NRA Endowment Member Keep Your Powder Dry -->

08-14-2009, 09:42 PM	#2
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory OH BROTHER Not Again __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand?

08-14-2009, 09:44 PM	#3
kutaho Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest Posts: 1,852	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory Don't you belong to this club/? __________________ No man stands in the same river twice If all else fails grab a rock Mi Taku oyasin

08-14-2009, 10:55 PM	#4
Mr. Nameless Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Coast of N.C. Posts: 1,264	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory Okay, the long white bus is gonna take you on a trip now. You will be gone for a very long time. Oh and say hey to Glocknut for me. __________________ Signed ~BMP Two classifications of terrorist dead and not dead enough

08-15-2009, 01:06 AM	#5
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory terrific twist....reminds me of a few high-profile "spinners" I know.... __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)*

08-15-2009, 03:07 AM	#6
jacksonco Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Jackson County West Virginia Posts: 2,237	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory Your son is a very imaginative and talented writer. He needs to get copy right then send it to some one. I could see that as a plot for a children's book.

08-15-2009, 04:58 AM	#7
Maximilian II Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Northwest GA Posts: 1,381	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory Nice, I always wondered about that. __________________ Karma is just justice, without the satisfaction. And I don't believe in justice. -Joe Sarno, bagman.

08-15-2009, 06:36 AM	#9
Suwannee Tim Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,227	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory I have a similar theory about air and water. Air is vaporized water. That is the reason that, whenever you are paddling downriver you are always going into a headwind. The water flows downstream, the air flows upstream, back to where it came.

08-15-2009, 08:34 AM	#10
Suicide*Ride Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Golden, Colorado Posts: 1,340	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory I like how your son thinks Bob. At the top of the list of dark suckers - a black hole. SR __________________ "The price of FREEDOM can be seen here" ******(the sign outside every VA hospital)****** In an emergency, people don't rise to the occasion, but are reduced to their level of training. When something is trying to eat you, it is hard to get off a good shot! "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Twain

08-15-2009, 10:19 AM	#11
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory I know his son and like I told him over the phone last night. " PUT THE PIPE DOWN & STEP BACK IT HAS TAKEN CONTROL" What ever you do do not get into a conversation with him about if we live in some ones fish bowl or only are alive in a computer program, y'all be there for weeks Love him like a brother!! __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand?

08-15-2009, 10:29 AM	#12
hkruss Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Mobile, Al. Posts: 1,092	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory I want some of what he has been drinking!!! __________________ obama - "non gratum anus rodentum"

08-15-2009, 04:09 PM	#13
Trouble 45-70 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: NE Ar. W. of Black River Contributor Posts: 2,703	Re: The Dark Sucker Theory Many years ago I read an article on Dark Theory and I wrote it down by hand. I lost it in one of my moves. If anyone has a copy, this would be a great place to post it. I may have seen it in a copy of Compressed Air or Spectrum the IEE journal.