Teacher Arrested In NYC - The Firearms Forum

Gabob · 01-08-2010, 02:53 PM

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President; It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow----

ARB · 01-08-2010, 02:57 PM

That's priceless!

So, it must have been a moral dilema that caused me to dismiss Al-Gebra as something foreign and evil.

Helix_FR · 01-08-2010, 03:02 PM

Very nice, well written. Had me going until the Alg-Gebra movement. Only movement I ever got from algebra was.....never mind.

Eddie N · 01-08-2010, 03:31 PM

Had me goin' there, for a sec. But, knowing who we're dealing with, who knows?

Carne Frio · 01-08-2010, 03:58 PM

Don't leave out those irrational numbers and
attempts to divide by zero !

jjmitchell60 · 01-08-2010, 04:08 PM

You need to post that on some other forums as well Bob. Good one.

mncarpenter · 01-09-2010, 03:53 AM

I was politely asked to leave Al-Gebra forever when I was a freshman in H.S. I was caught snickering at the fat hanging over the teachers hosiery when she bent over..that image is burned into my brain like it happened yesterday. I have kept a close watch for members of Al-Gebra ever since and have never hesitated to turn a suspected member over to the authorities.

Jay · 01-09-2010, 06:22 AM

Outstanding.... and I'm gonna swipe it....

01-08-2010, 02:53 PM	#1
Gabob Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: SW GA CSA Posts: 1,162	Teacher Arrested In NYC A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President; It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow---- __________________ NRA Endowment Member Keep Your Powder Dry -->

01-08-2010, 02:57 PM	#2
ARB Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Mid Missouri Posts: 1,184	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC That's priceless! So, it must have been a moral dilema that caused me to dismiss Al-Gebra as something foreign and evil.

01-08-2010, 03:02 PM	#3
Helix_FR TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Imperial, MO Posts: 3,669	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC Very nice, well written. Had me going until the Alg-Gebra movement. Only movement I ever got from algebra was.....never mind. __________________ Only cowards shoot with their eyes closed.... helixgunsmith.com

01-08-2010, 03:31 PM	#4
Eddie N Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Colorado Contributor Posts: 1,192	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC Had me goin' there, for a sec. But, knowing who we're dealing with, who knows?

01-08-2010, 03:58 PM	#5
Carne Frio Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Near Fairbanks Posts: 701	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC Don't leave out those irrational numbers and attempts to divide by zero !

01-08-2010, 04:08 PM	#6
jjmitchell60 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raised in Buzzard Roost near Frog Town in hillls of Kentucky Contributor Posts: 1,474	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC You need to post that on some other forums as well Bob. Good one. __________________ Oath Keepers NOT ON OUR WATCH www.oathkeepers.org 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." -- Benjamin Franklin When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes Duty... Thomas Jefferson

01-09-2010, 03:53 AM	#7
mncarpenter V.I.P. Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Contributor Posts: 480	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC I was politely asked to leave Al-Gebra forever when I was a freshman in H.S. I was caught snickering at the fat hanging over the teachers hosiery when she bent over..that image is burned into my brain like it happened yesterday. I have kept a close watch for members of Al-Gebra ever since and have never hesitated to turn a suspected member over to the authorities. __________________ *"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."- Ronald Reagan* *"Remember to have your democrats neutered or spayed" -Ann Coulter*

01-09-2010, 06:22 AM	#8
Jay Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,286	Re: Teacher Arrested In NYC Outstanding.... and I'm gonna swipe it.... __________________ "For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected cannot taste." "USMC 8652, 2531, RVN Jun '67, - May 69"