Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some real problems ....
They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep.
They are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their
halos... They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their darn horses with them."
The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."
So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello --
hold on a minute."
When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "O.K., I'm back. What
can I do for you?"
Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are
having down there with the Texans."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?"
Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this ... hold on."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Red Adair has put out the fire and Brown & Root is installing air conditioning."
Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives."
--John Adams, letter to Benjamin Rush, April 18, 1808