From a kilt-wearer - The Firearms Forum

Maximilian II · 07-13-2009, 02:23 AM

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot all walk into a bar and order pints. Simultaneously, flies land in each pint.
The Englishman yells "Barkeep! I'm not drinking this! Bring me another!"
The Irishman thumps the fly out of the beer and drinks it.
The Scot had the fly in his fingers, squeezing it and yelling "Spit it out ya' wee b******! Spit it out!"

So how does a Scotsman find his sheep in tall grass?
Veeeery satisfying...

So what's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?
Jagger sang "Hey, you, get offa my cloud" but the Scot says "Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe!"

Charlie the sniper · 07-13-2009, 07:16 AM

I'm shocked

, where is your respect

after all what have sheep ever done to you

Mr. Nameless · 07-13-2009, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charlie the sniper

I'm shocked

, where is your respect

after all what have sheep ever done to you

food poisioning.......

21bravo · 07-13-2009, 07:21 PM

loved em Max... especially the last 2

kutaho · 07-13-2009, 08:33 PM

And here i thought sheep jokes were restricted to Montana

Lotsdragon · 07-13-2009, 09:26 PM

Hehe montana where men are men and the sheep are nervous.

Maximilian II · 07-14-2009, 02:34 AM

My son in law is from Australia. You should just hear the New Zealand jokes he tells!

Maximilian II · 07-14-2009, 02:40 AM

*Disclaimer* Considering the size and attitude of the Maori found in NZ he only tells these jokes after looking over his shoulder. He's a puny 190lbs. The Maori are often over 6.5' tall and heavily built! I suggest all YouTube the word "haka."

TranterUK · 07-14-2009, 02:40 AM

Ever hear of the two Irish gays, Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrik?

Maximilian II · 07-14-2009, 02:41 AM

Do tell!

kutaho · 07-14-2009, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lotsdragon

Hehe montana where men are men and the sheep are nervous.

Here we say 'were the men are men, and the sheep run like hell"

artabr · 07-16-2009, 11:17 PM

You owe me a keybord, Max.

Art

07-13-2009, 02:23 AM	#1
Maximilian II Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Northwest GA Posts: 1,381	From a kilt-wearer An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot all walk into a bar and order pints. Simultaneously, flies land in each pint. The Englishman yells "Barkeep! I'm not drinking this! Bring me another!" The Irishman thumps the fly out of the beer and drinks it. The Scot had the fly in his fingers, squeezing it and yelling "Spit it out ya' wee b******! Spit it out!" So how does a Scotsman find his sheep in tall grass? Veeeery satisfying... So what's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones? Jagger sang "Hey, you, get offa my cloud" but the Scot says "Hey, McCloud, get offa my ewe!" __________________ Karma is just justice, without the satisfaction. And I don't believe in justice. -Joe Sarno, bagman. -->

07-13-2009, 07:16 AM	#2
Charlie the sniper Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: England, thats the USN aircraft carrier near europe. Posts: 751	Re: From a kilt-wearer I'm shocked , where is your respect after all what have sheep ever done to you __________________ Never Forget, the price paid for Freedom.

07-13-2009, 07:21 PM	#4
21bravo Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: wilkes county, nc Posts: 790	Re: From a kilt-wearer loved em Max... especially the last 2 __________________ "BIG MOMMA BRAVO" If everything seems to be going well, you obviously do not know what the hell is going on --"Laws that forbid the carrying of arms disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crime." - Thomas Jefferson

07-13-2009, 08:33 PM	#5
kutaho Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest Posts: 1,852	Re: From a kilt-wearer And here i thought sheep jokes were restricted to Montana __________________ No man stands in the same river twice If all else fails grab a rock Mi Taku oyasin

07-13-2009, 09:26 PM	#6
Lotsdragon Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Potosi, Mo Posts: 813	Re: From a kilt-wearer Hehe montana where men are men and the sheep are nervous. __________________ "First comes smiles,then lies.Last is gunfire" Roland Deschain

07-14-2009, 02:34 AM	#7
Maximilian II Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Northwest GA Posts: 1,381	Re: From a kilt-wearer My son in law is from Australia. You should just hear the New Zealand jokes he tells! __________________ Karma is just justice, without the satisfaction. And I don't believe in justice. -Joe Sarno, bagman.

07-14-2009, 02:40 AM	#8
Maximilian II Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Northwest GA Posts: 1,381	Re: From a kilt-wearer Disclaimer Considering the size and attitude of the Maori found in NZ he only tells these jokes after looking over his shoulder. He's a puny 190lbs. The Maori are often over 6.5' tall and heavily built! I suggest all YouTube the word "haka." __________________ Karma is just justice, without the satisfaction. And I don't believe in justice. -Joe Sarno, bagman.

07-14-2009, 02:40 AM	#9
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: From a kilt-wearer Ever hear of the two Irish gays, Patrick Fitzmichael and Michael Fitzpatrik? __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way! Last edited by TranterUK; 07-14-2009 at 02:42 AM..

07-14-2009, 02:41 AM	#10
Maximilian II Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Northwest GA Posts: 1,381	Re: From a kilt-wearer Do tell! __________________ Karma is just justice, without the satisfaction. And I don't believe in justice. -Joe Sarno, bagman.

07-16-2009, 11:17 PM	#12
artabr Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Iberia, Louisiana Contributor Posts: 7,859	Re: From a kilt-wearer You owe me a keybord, Max. Art __________________ God and the soldier we like adore, In times of trouble, not before. When troubles ended and all things righted, God is forgotten and the soldier is slighted. Francis Quarles 1592 - 1644 __________________ When asked for my race, I answer CauCajun. Hope is not a plan, and not all change is good. The resistance is here; the resistance is now. RESIST! These hands are neither cold nor are they dead!!