One from the Onion - The Firearms Forum

Terry_P · 12-31-2009, 10:39 AM

http://www.theonion.com/content/info...ng_white_house

Revisiting White House Security Protocols

After an embarrassing incident in which a husband and wife crashed the White House state dinner for Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh, the Secret Service is reviewing security procedures for future events. Here are some past breaches that have also increased concern:

A man holding a houseplant in front of his body is able to sneak deep into the West Wing by tiptoeing in short increments while nobody is looking
Secret Service agents discover a hose attached to an outdoor spigot at the Library of Congress and follow it three blocks to discover an al-Qaeda car-wash fundraiser in progress

Over a period of several weeks, thousands of individuals gain access to sensitive online White House data by successfully guessing Obama's password, "NCC-1701"

While Press Secretary Robert Gibbs fields questions on troop increases in Afghanistan, an unidentified man rolls out a mat next to him with DVDs of The Lovely Bones and The Princess And The Frog

A drunk and shirtless screaming man is able to wander freely around the White House for hours by telling guards he is Education Secretary Arne Duncan

Guy who keeps hanging around kitchen and is assumed to be an assistant to the sous chef finally discovered to be just some guy who really likes watching presidential meals get made

A group claiming to be the world champion Pittsburgh Steelers is taken on an exclusive tour that includes a presidential photo op before it's finally revealed they're just the St. Louis Rams

After managing to slip past the Secret Service detail explicitly designated to keep him out of the Oval Office, Joe Biden chews Obama's ear off with a 50-minute story about this "redheaded spitfire" he met years ago in a Tulsa diner

pinecone70 · 12-31-2009, 11:03 AM

LOL!!!!

petesusn · 12-31-2009, 03:02 PM

You gotta love the Onion.

12-31-2009, 10:39 AM	#1
Terry_P Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NH Posts: 2,513	One from the Onion http://www.theonion.com/content/info...ng_white_house Revisiting White House Security Protocols After an embarrassing incident in which a husband and wife crashed the White House state dinner for Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh, the Secret Service is reviewing security procedures for future events. Here are some past breaches that have also increased concern: A man holding a houseplant in front of his body is able to sneak deep into the West Wing by tiptoeing in short increments while nobody is looking Secret Service agents discover a hose attached to an outdoor spigot at the Library of Congress and follow it three blocks to discover an al-Qaeda car-wash fundraiser in progress Over a period of several weeks, thousands of individuals gain access to sensitive online White House data by successfully guessing Obama's password, "NCC-1701" While Press Secretary Robert Gibbs fields questions on troop increases in Afghanistan, an unidentified man rolls out a mat next to him with DVDs of The Lovely Bones and The Princess And The Frog A drunk and shirtless screaming man is able to wander freely around the White House for hours by telling guards he is Education Secretary Arne Duncan Guy who keeps hanging around kitchen and is assumed to be an assistant to the sous chef finally discovered to be just some guy who really likes watching presidential meals get made A group claiming to be the world champion Pittsburgh Steelers is taken on an exclusive tour that includes a presidential photo op before it's finally revealed they're just the St. Louis Rams After managing to slip past the Secret Service detail explicitly designated to keep him out of the Oval Office, Joe Biden chews Obama's ear off with a 50-minute story about this "redheaded spitfire" he met years ago in a Tulsa diner __________________ NRA and NAHC Life "Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms." -Aristotle -->

12-31-2009, 11:03 AM	#2
pinecone70 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Minnesota Gal! Posts: 4,730	Re: One from the Onion LOL!!!! __________________ _____________________________________________ "Miss Scarlet, in the library...with a revolver...."

12-31-2009, 03:02 PM	#3
petesusn Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: San Joaquin Valley, Ca. Posts: 614	Re: One from the Onion You gotta love the Onion. __________________ Self Defense: A basic human right The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created 130 years later, in 1917. A man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile...can respond with a great deal of pride and satisfaction, "I served in the U. S. Navy." John F. Kennedy VFW Life Member