A LADY, CALIFORNIA DREAMING....... - The Firearms Forum

rooter · 02-22-2010, 03:25 PM

Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Springs and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see
advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual
massages."
I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Vern -a very handsome man with assorted physical
skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in
all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs,
dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I
could bounce a quarter off his well oiled butt.... you get
the picture. I figured, what the heck, I'll give him a
call.
"Hello,
ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded
sooo sexy!
Afraid I would lose my
nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you
give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room
and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you.
I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I
want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring
implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything
you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and
heavy all night -tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and
whipped cream, anything and everything
baby. Now
how does that
sound?"

He says, "Oh my
Goodness... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to
press 9 for an outside line."

red14 · 02-22-2010, 04:01 PM

You sure this wasn't you, Chief?

Not there's anything wrong with that.

02-22-2010, 03:25 PM	#1
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,270	A LADY, CALIFORNIA DREAMING....... Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Springs and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Vern -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a quarter off his well oiled butt.... you get the picture. I figured, what the heck, I'll give him a call. "Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night -tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything baby. Now how does that sound?" He says, "Oh my Goodness... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line." __________________ -->

02-22-2010, 04:01 PM	#2
red14 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: N FLA Posts: 3,913	Re: A LADY, CALIFORNIA DREAMING....... You sure this wasn't you, Chief? Not there's anything wrong with that. __________________ I never argue, I state my opinion, and support my position.