Obama goes hunting in Alaska
Obama went duck hunting in Alaska.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into Sarah Palin's field on the other side of her fence
As he climbed over the fence, Sarah drove up on her tractor and asked him what he was doing.
Obama responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell onto this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'
Palin replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'
The indignant Obama said, 'If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.'
Palin smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here. We settle small disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.''
Obama asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule?'
Sarah Palin replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'
Obama quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take a woman at this game. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
Sarah slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the Obama. Her first kick planted the toe of her steel toed work boot into Obama's groin and dropped him to his knees.
Her second kick to the midriff sent the Obama's last meal gushing from his mouth.
Obama was on all fours when her third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
He summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, now it's my turn.'
Palin smiled and said , 'Na, I give up. You can have the duck.'
Experience wins again
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO- HOO what a ride!"
Some people are like Slinkies -- not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
I'm old, I'm angry and I vote!