Shaky li' old ladies - The Firearms Forum

berto64 · 03-04-2008, 12:38 PM

SHAKY LIL' OLD LADY

The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll
remember this story:

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front
door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles
the few feet across the store to the counter.

Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support,
stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddoo youu hhhave
ddiilldos?"

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we
do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."

The old woman then asks: "Dddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk
onne, tttenn inchessss llong a aand aabbout twoo inchess
ththiick... aaand rruns by bbaatteries?

The clerk responds, "Yes we do"

She asks: " Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrrnnn
ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?"

CampingJosh · 03-04-2008, 04:22 PM

Berto, I think you just raped my mind...

rooter · 03-04-2008, 04:25 PM

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

'Actually, no,' he replied.

'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Yes.. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.'

inplanotx · 03-04-2008, 04:35 PM

Well, there goes another keyboard! Just shot a mouth full of iced tea all over it. Thanks Chief and Berto!

03-04-2008, 12:38 PM	#1
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,388	Shaky li' old ladies SHAKY LIL' OLD LADY The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll remember this story: A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk: "Dddoo youu hhhave ddiilldos?" The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models." The old woman then asks: "Dddddoo yyyouu ccaarry a pppinkk onne, tttenn inchessss llong a aand aabbout twoo inchess ththiick... aaand rruns by bbaatteries? The clerk responds, "Yes we do" She asks: " Dddoo yyoooouu kknnoooww hhhow ttoo ttturrrnnn ttthe ssunoooffabbitch offffff?" __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God. -->

03-04-2008, 04:22 PM	#2
CampingJosh TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Indiana Contributor Posts: 4,788	Re: Shaky li' old ladies Berto, I think you just raped my mind... __________________ Nothing posted on TheFirearmsForum.com constitutes legal, accounting, gunsmithing, or other professional advice. Readers are encouraged to consult with qualified professionals for real advice. Your life is lived at your own risk. Don't blame me for the dumb things you do.

03-04-2008, 04:25 PM	#3
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,271	Re: Shaky li' old ladies A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. 'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. 'Actually, no,' he replied. 'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. 'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I can do?' 'Yes.. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. 'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say. 'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.' __________________

03-04-2008, 04:35 PM	#4
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: Shaky li' old ladies Well, there goes another keyboard! Just shot a mouth full of iced tea all over it. Thanks Chief and Berto! __________________