"Still trapped within The Nam”

[MichiganGunSlinger]

When shadows bow to sun in west,
While tucked in earth in man made nest,
While bullets crease the foxholes crest;
Still trapped within “The Nam”.

While feet crack brush and whistles blow
My heart pounds hard as fear does flow,
Neath the eerie light of moon crest glow;
Still trapped within “The Nam”.

While bullets sing their songs of death
We snuggle deep with bated breath,
Within the foxhole’s shallow depth
Still trapped within “The Nam”;

Then sitting up I gasp for air
Into my sight comes couch and chair,
And though I know I’m not still there:
"Still trapped within The Nam”.


I write to Honor those who were stuck for full tours in The Nam and even longer. I was in country 10 separate times for specific missions of short durations, but got to leave and return to the comforts of Home afterward. I took my share of lives and to this day awake to the sound of snapping twigs and a vast array of other dangers which remain trapped inside of me. Though I was lucky in the respect of having only served short hop missions as a member of a still nameless and faceless organization, I was involved in an industrial accident a short time after the last mission during which I and 29 other Specialists went in and hit Hanoi HARD so the Communist government would recall troops to take the heat off those being evacuated.

The N.V.A. and 'Charlie' was using everything at their disposal to kill as many Americans and anyone Loyal to the Government of South Vietnam as they could. The mission was planned well and executed perfectly, in fact it worked well enough that thousands of North Vietnamese Regular Army troops 'N.V.A.' were recalled from the areas we were evacuating troops from to protect Hanoi from the Major American Assault Force. That made it much easier for the regular Army and Marine units operating in the area to clear out the heavy weapon and Anti-Aircraft batteries which were shooting down our evacuation aircraft. It was determined afterward that as many as 9,000 American and loyal lives were saved by our mission. After the final troops were removed, there was no need for our Talents there so we were disbanded into civilian life but still on call in case our services were ever needed again.

The industrial accident involved a steel bar 8 foot long which fell and crushed my brain stem which left me pretty much a zombie for almost four years. I didn't sleep during that entire time and the drugs they gave me to treat the 'problem' only knocked my body out and didn't touch my mind at all. For the next 3 plus years I lived and relived continuously the last mission; non stop.

So many things have happened since then and though I still have times I cannot function mentally and now after a doctor cut into my sciatic nerve during one of 16 heart catheters between 2001 and 2005. My life is continuous pain with spasms which used to break my ribs and which still do when the machine implanted in me stops working. Still, nothing is quite as bad as being trapped in a war zone with every sound, every motion, every shadow a potential enemy solider sneaking in to take your life.

Because of everything that has happened I can remember very little of my life before that last mission and only bits and pieces of things current and since then. Memories come and go but the only ones which seem never to get lost are the worst ones. Thank God I have a Loving Wife who truly Loves me; she has been at my side from just after that last mission and did not leave during the years after the steel bar took away everything that made me human; during the time when I did not even know who she was. She took the words "For Better and for Worse" and "Till Death Do Us Part" as Literally as Life itself and I Thank God for her every day.

To anyone reading this who spent Whole Tours in the God Forsaken country of The Nam, I SALUTE YOU! I also pray that your memories will fade to mere wisps and that all of the bad will be no more than wisps of smoke in the wind of your memories. I would pray that they would disappear but if you were there at all, or in any war; you know full well that forgetting is not an option and ceasing to dream will not happen.

God Bless You for your Service to these United States of America and Welcome Home.

[AL MOUNT]

Originally Posted by MichiganGunSlinger

To anyone reading this who spent Whole Tours in the God Forsaken country of The Nam, I SALUTE YOU! .

Beat me, whip me, I guess......

I only spent 9 1/2 months in country... (slacker, slacker, slacker.. )


Cuz the unwritten rule was..........

3 Purple Hearts and you're out.......

Upon getting #3, went to Yokohoma, then to hosp in Scott AFB, then to hosp. Ft. Lost-in-the Woods



And I ain't no Charles Durning (Hollywood BS wannabee)... ... I got paper .


Welcome home bro .....

[rooter]

Personally, I feel very humbled telling you all the worst I ever encountered was simply being under the gun on the 26th of February 1968....I mentioned that to you just the other day and if I'm here next year at this time, I'm sure I'll recall it again....Slinger, your poem and story are both examples of how sharing can be done...fitting and proper that others hear and read about these things....Who was the last trooper who ever rode out these type events and come away considering war and combat, glamorous? Thank You Gun Slinger for you good and faithful service to our country, thank you. Chief