Final Exam - The Firearms Forum

Pistolenschutze · 08-05-2008, 01:10 PM

TEMPERATURE OF HELL

This is forwarded from a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering Dept. Citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test
questions for his final examinations of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh is
known for asking questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly".
In May 1997, The Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II final exam question
was:

"IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC? SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER WITH PROOF".

Most of the students wrote proofs on their beliefs using Boyle's Law or
some variant. One student, however wrote the following:

"First we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If
they do then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are
souls moving into Hell, and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does not leave. Therefore
no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since
there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate
of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of
the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

Answer 1: So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

Answer 2: Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan
during freshman year, that "It'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having
sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true...thus, Hell is
exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

TranterUK · 08-05-2008, 03:03 PM

You have to be kidding, he concluded exothermic! It has to be endothermic, it comes down to the source of the heat, anyhow, I hope not to find out.

USMC-03 · 08-05-2008, 03:14 PM

Hmmm... I think I may have dated her sister.

cohoskip · 08-05-2008, 03:15 PM

Tim Graham is a deep thinker...

user · 08-05-2008, 06:16 PM

The thing that's been bugging me is this notion, as we see in John Milton's Paradise Lost, of eternal torture of deviant souls. But in the Gospels, there's only one place where such an idea is suggested (Jesus' parable about the rich man and Lazarus and whether Father Abraham could send Lazarus over the chasm to give the tortured rich man some water). In every other description, and there are many, the deviant souls are compared to easily combustible substances thrown into a fire. E.g., "The axe is at the foot of the tree, and any tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."; deviant souls are also compared to chaff and weeds. It would appear the fire is permanent, but the souls are not. On the other hand, those who survive the transition all get the same reward: life.

So I have to question the premise that souls have mass. Except, of course, on All Souls' Day, when they have a special mass.

Pistolenschutze · 08-05-2008, 06:41 PM

Lighten up, user, this is merely humor, not meant to be serious.

Apparently the incident did occur however, and one must admit, it is a clever response to a rather interesting exam question. This reminds me of the story of the philosophy prof who asked the following question on a final exam: "Why?" The answers he received--all except one--were lengthy and deep philosophical treatises and mostly focused on existential philosophy or on an epistemological angle. One student, however, wrote his answer in just a few seconds and turned it in. This student received the only "A." His answer? "Why not."

08-05-2008, 01:10 PM	#1
Pistolenschutze Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 13,094	Final Exam TEMPERATURE OF HELL This is forwarded from a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering Dept. Citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test questions for his final examinations of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh is known for asking questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly". In May 1997, The Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II final exam question was: "IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC? SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER WITH PROOF". Most of the students wrote proofs on their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however wrote the following: "First we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell, and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant. Answer 1: So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. Answer 2: Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan during freshman year, that "It'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true...thus, Hell is exothermic." The student, Tim Graham, got the only A. __________________ --Pistolenschutze (Pistol Shooter) -->

08-05-2008, 03:03 PM	#2
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: Final Exam You have to be kidding, he concluded exothermic! It has to be endothermic, it comes down to the source of the heat, anyhow, I hope not to find out. __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way! Last edited by TranterUK; 08-05-2008 at 03:04 PM..

08-05-2008, 03:14 PM	#3
USMC-03 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest Posts: 1,825	Re: Final Exam Hmmm... I think I may have dated her sister. __________________ Let not the rifles of good and free men be reforged into plowshares, but may they rest in a place of honor; ready, well oiled and God willing unused. For if the price of peace becomes licking the boots of tyrants, then "To Arms!" I say, and may the fortunes of war smile upon patriots. - Fortes Fortuna Javat -

08-05-2008, 03:15 PM	#4
cohoskip V.I.P. Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Summer: Chimacum, WA; Winter: Casa Grande, AZ Posts: 189	Re: Final Exam Tim Graham is a deep thinker... __________________ To err is human, to forgive divine Neither is Marine Corps policy... NRA Life Member

08-05-2008, 06:16 PM	#5
user Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Northern piedmont of Va. and Middle of Nowhere, West Virginia Posts: 1,013	Re: Final Exam The thing that's been bugging me is this notion, as we see in John Milton's Paradise Lost, of eternal torture of deviant souls. But in the Gospels, there's only one place where such an idea is suggested (Jesus' parable about the rich man and Lazarus and whether Father Abraham could send Lazarus over the chasm to give the tortured rich man some water). In every other description, and there are many, the deviant souls are compared to easily combustible substances thrown into a fire. E.g., "The axe is at the foot of the tree, and any tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."; deviant souls are also compared to chaff and weeds. It would appear the fire is permanent, but the souls are not. On the other hand, those who survive the transition all get the same reward: life. So I have to question the premise that souls have mass. Except, of course, on All Souls' Day, when they have a special mass.

08-05-2008, 06:41 PM	#6
Pistolenschutze Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 13,094	Re: Final Exam Lighten up, user, this is merely humor, not meant to be serious. Apparently the incident did occur however, and one must admit, it is a clever response to a rather interesting exam question. This reminds me of the story of the philosophy prof who asked the following question on a final exam: "Why?" The answers he received--all except one--were lengthy and deep philosophical treatises and mostly focused on existential philosophy or on an epistemological angle. One student, however, wrote his answer in just a few seconds and turned it in. This student received the only "A." His answer? "Why not." __________________ --Pistolenschutze (Pistol Shooter)