Who Is Jack Schitt? - The Firearms Forum

01-14-2004, 12:17 PM

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.

Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt

Marlin · 01-14-2004, 02:58 PM

ROTFLMAO!

IShootBack · 01-14-2004, 03:31 PM

LOL

ISB

misiu · 01-14-2004, 09:33 PM

Where do you find these-too funny

SouthernMoss · 01-14-2004, 09:43 PM

Know your Schitt

01-15-2004, 07:11 AM

lol ... SoMo definitely know's a lot of Schitt's.

Marlin · 01-15-2004, 08:45 AM

All I can say is, "OH, Schidtt!"

ibtrukn · 01-15-2004, 12:46 PM

Yo Zag, not bad fora hoosher

pickenup · 01-15-2004, 12:59 PM

That is some good Schitt....

01-15-2004, 01:06 PM

Thanks IB, I appreciate the schitt outta' it!

Marlin · 01-15-2004, 01:16 PM

I remember Red Skelton telling that story. It brought tears to my eyes then, as it did today.

Thanks Ziggy for posting that link!

01-14-2004, 12:17 PM	#1
Zigzag2 Adnanced Senior Member Posts: n/a	Who Is Jack Schitt? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt -->

01-14-2004, 02:58 PM	#2
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	ROTFLMAO! Attached Images __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

01-14-2004, 03:31 PM	#3
IShootBack Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Virginia Posts: 2,309	LOL ISB __________________ "The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name." Exodus15:3

01-14-2004, 09:33 PM	#4
misiu V.I.P. Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: British Columbia Posts: 158	Where do you find these-too funny __________________ Good hunting and shooting: John

01-14-2004, 09:43 PM	#5
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Know your Schitt __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

01-15-2004, 07:11 AM	#6
Zigzag2 Adnanced Senior Member Posts: n/a	lol ... SoMo definitely know's a lot of Schitt's.

01-15-2004, 08:45 AM	#7
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	All I can say is, "OH, Schidtt!" __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

01-15-2004, 12:46 PM	#8
ibtrukn Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: central N.J. Posts: 4,335	Yo Zag, not bad fora hoosher

01-15-2004, 12:59 PM	#9
pickenup Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains Posts: 6,841	That is some good Schitt.... __________________ The gene pool needs chlorine

01-15-2004, 01:06 PM	#10
Zigzag2 Adnanced Senior Member Posts: n/a	Thanks IB, I appreciate the schitt outta' it!

01-15-2004, 01:16 PM	#11
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	I remember Red Skelton telling that story. It brought tears to my eyes then, as it did today. Thanks Ziggy for posting that link! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*