The IRS Audit - The Firearms Forum

Mithrandir · 12-07-2005, 06:02 PM

Bad Humor

Dennis arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man.

Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported income. How do you explain that?"

Dennis replied, "I love to gamble and I always win."

The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.

"I can prove it," said Dennis. "How about a demonstration?"

The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Dennis said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"

Dennis removed his glass eye and bit it.

The official's jaw dropped. Dennis said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The official could tell Dennis wasn't blind, so he took the bet.

Dennis then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.

The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!

"Want to go double or nothing?" Dennis asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and pee into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!

Dennis climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much got pee all over the desk.

The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he noticed that Dennis's friend looked ashen and was visibly shaking. "Are you okay?" he asked.

The man replied, "Not really. Yesterday Dennis bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd pees on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"

(You may groan now...I DID!!!)

out...

KyBlaster · 12-07-2005, 06:46 PM

I don't think I'll be trying that one at my next audit.

Deputy Dawg · 12-07-2005, 08:22 PM

Me either.

Marlin · 12-08-2005, 09:25 AM

MAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C' est trés MAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SouthernMoss · 12-08-2005, 10:50 AM

inplanotx · 12-08-2005, 12:33 PM

berto64 · 12-10-2005, 08:45 PM

I HAD to share that one! It is hilarious! Thank you for it.

Hope 69/70 · 12-11-2005, 12:28 AM

LOL.........Good One

Hope

12-07-2005, 06:02 PM	#1
Mithrandir Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Durango Colorado, the right knee-pit of Colorado Posts: 822	The IRS Audit Bad Humor Dennis arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man. Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported income. How do you explain that?" Dennis replied, "I love to gamble and I always win." The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look. "I can prove it," said Dennis. "How about a demonstration?" The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Dennis said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!" Dennis removed his glass eye and bit it. The official's jaw dropped. Dennis said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The official could tell Dennis wasn't blind, so he took the bet. Dennis then removed his dentures and bit his good eye. The stunned official was now three grand in the hole! "Want to go double or nothing?" Dennis asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and pee into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again! Dennis climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much got pee all over the desk. The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he noticed that Dennis's friend looked ashen and was visibly shaking. "Are you okay?" he asked. The man replied, "Not really. Yesterday Dennis bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd pees on your desk and you'd be happy about it!" (You may groan now...I DID!!!) out... __________________ Esse Quam Vidiri -->

12-07-2005, 06:46 PM	#2
KyBlaster V.I.P. Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky Posts: 250	Re: The IRS Audit I don't think I'll be trying that one at my next audit. __________________ "From my cold, dead hands"-- Charlton Heston 2000

12-07-2005, 08:22 PM	#3
Deputy Dawg Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Texas Gulf Coast Posts: 2,229	Re: The IRS Audit Me either. __________________ LOCK and LOAD................................... GOD, GUNS,GUTS the three that keep us FREE!!!!

12-08-2005, 09:25 AM	#4
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: The IRS Audit MAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! C' est trés MAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

12-08-2005, 10:50 AM	#5
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: The IRS Audit __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

12-08-2005, 12:33 PM	#6
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: The IRS Audit __________________

12-10-2005, 08:45 PM	#7
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,385	Re: The IRS Audit I HAD to share that one! It is hilarious! Thank you for it. __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.

12-11-2005, 12:28 AM	#8
Hope 69/70 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 2,549	Re: The IRS Audit LOL.........Good One Hope __________________ WAC - HQ. USARV / G1, Long Binh - Feb 69 - Feb 70