North VS South... - The Firearms Forum

glocknut · 10-18-2005, 07:52 PM

Subject: North Vs South

North Vs. South:
The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.
The North has double last names, The South has double first names.
The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.
--- FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH ----
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store
do not buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep in! to a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.

All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.

It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns,
they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song.

berto64 · 10-18-2005, 07:57 PM

Thanks for this one, Mike! It's hilarious!

SouthernMoss · 10-18-2005, 08:09 PM

Yep, that sounds about right.

Deputy Dawg · 10-18-2005, 09:49 PM

Marlin · 10-19-2005, 10:00 AM

Hit the nail on the Head!!!!!!!!

inplanotx · 10-19-2005, 10:06 AM

xxxxxxl · 10-19-2005, 04:15 PM

Home Sweet Home!

glocknut · 10-19-2005, 06:24 PM

I liked this part...

The first Southern statement to creep in! to a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way.

All of them are in denial about it.

SO TRUE !!!!!

And then come the other words.....y'all, and others. And then......comes the Fried Okra !!!! When a Yankee starts to refer to fried okra as an essential vegetable....IT OVER !!!!!

I may not be a true Southerner, but i also can never go back and be the same either....

Several months ago when my grandmother was still alive, i went up to north dakota to see her. I went into the local cafe and ordered a barbecue bacon cheeseburger and a order of fried okra. The young girl said "whats okra" ?!!
I said... Well, its..a...well, i dunno, but its good. Its a breaded slice of okra plant....WHAT THE HECKS AMATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE ??? You don't have okra ??!!!!! I will admid that by that point i was hamming it up a bit,....and they thought i was NUTS !!!!!

D**d Yankees....

mike
gn

glocknut · 10-19-2005, 06:26 PM

Thats another thing.... When you look at your own people and start thinking "those ****ing Yankees" you know that you took a wrong turn somewhere. Not exactly sure where.....but SOMEwhere... ??

mike
gn
Yes, my name is Glocknut... I'm a recovering yankee... I've been clean for 14 years now...

Marlin · 10-19-2005, 09:20 PM

I've been clean, in that venacular, for forty-nine years, Mike!!!!!!

I've been in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi more than two-thirds of my life.

Actually, 71.02%!!!!!

Kimber Man · 10-20-2005, 06:14 PM

I like this one........................

inplanotx · 10-20-2005, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Yes, my name is Glocknut... I'm a recovering yankee... I've been clean for 14 years now...

Now that explains a lot!

Deputy Dawg · 10-20-2005, 07:07 PM

Yes it does............

glocknut · 10-20-2005, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marlin

I've been clean, in that venacular, for forty-nine years, Mike!!!!!!

I've been in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi more than two-thirds of my life.

Actually, 71.02%!!!!!

Yes, but to these D*** Southerners, you and are are still D*** Yankees...

mike
gn

Glockgod · 10-21-2005, 09:53 PM

While were on the North/South topic would someone please tell me what to put on grits to make them edible? Going to Lexington next weekend and would LOVE to shock the rest of the carpool by eating a bowl of grits without gagging. ANY advice would be helpful.

Marlin · 10-22-2005, 11:30 AM

I slather mine with REAL Butter, Salt and lots of pepper.

llama.45 · 10-22-2005, 01:27 PM

SouthernMoss · 10-22-2005, 03:32 PM

Yep, Marlin's got the ticket. Just think of grits as ground corn (which is what it is) and season it the same way.

inplanotx · 10-22-2005, 03:47 PM

Yup, lots o salt and butter. Just like eatin an ear of corn!

SouthernMoss · 10-22-2005, 04:39 PM

BTW, make sure it's REAL grits (either "old fashioned" or "quick") and not that instant, single-serving crap.

Oh, yeah.... cheese grits (preferably with garlic) are good too, especially with fried catfish!

Glockgod · 10-22-2005, 08:29 PM

Gosh, fried catfish, man oh man does that sound good!

Huck Finn · 10-22-2005, 08:31 PM

QUOTE "Would someone please tell me what to put on grits to make them edible?"

Yes... A BIG Porterhouse!

10-18-2005, 07:52 PM	#1
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	North VS South... Subject: North Vs South North Vs. South: The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services, The South has family reunions. The North has double last names, The South has double first names. The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits. The North has green salads, The South has collard greens. The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads. --- FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH ---- In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store do not buy food at this store. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep in! to a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song. __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone.... -->

10-18-2005, 07:57 PM	#2
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,394	Re: North VS South... Thanks for this one, Mike! It's hilarious! __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.

10-18-2005, 08:09 PM	#3
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: North VS South... Yep, that sounds about right. __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

10-18-2005, 09:49 PM	#4
Deputy Dawg Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Texas Gulf Coast Posts: 2,234	Re: North VS South... __________________ LOCK and LOAD................................... GOD, GUNS,GUTS the three that keep us FREE!!!!

10-19-2005, 10:00 AM	#5
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	Re: North VS South... Hit the nail on the Head!!!!!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

10-19-2005, 10:06 AM	#6
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: North VS South... __________________

10-19-2005, 04:15 PM	#7
xxxxxxl Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 547	Re: North VS South... Home Sweet Home!

10-19-2005, 06:24 PM	#8
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Re: North VS South... I liked this part... The first Southern statement to creep in! to a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. SO TRUE !!!!! And then come the other words.....y'all, and others. And then......comes the Fried Okra !!!! When a Yankee starts to refer to fried okra as an essential vegetable....IT OVER !!!!! I may not be a true Southerner, but i also can never go back and be the same either.... Several months ago when my grandmother was still alive, i went up to north dakota to see her. I went into the local cafe and ordered a barbecue bacon cheeseburger and a order of fried okra. The young girl said "whats okra" ?!! I said... Well, its..a...well, i dunno, but its good. Its a breaded slice of okra plant....WHAT THE HECKS AMATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE ??? You don't have okra ??!!!!! I will admid that by that point i was hamming it up a bit,....and they thought i was NUTS !!!!! D*d Yankees.... mike gn __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone.... Last edited by glocknut; 10-19-2005 at 06:27 PM..*

10-19-2005, 06:26 PM	#9
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Re: North VS South... Thats another thing.... When you look at your own people and start thinking "those ****ing Yankees" you know that you took a wrong turn somewhere. Not exactly sure where.....but SOMEwhere... ?? mike gn Yes, my name is Glocknut... I'm a recovering yankee... I've been clean for 14 years now... __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone....

10-19-2005, 09:20 PM	#10
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	Re: North VS South... I've been clean, in that venacular, for forty-nine years, Mike!!!!!! I've been in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi more than two-thirds of my life. Actually, 71.02%!!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

10-20-2005, 06:14 PM	#11
Kimber Man Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 811	Re: North VS South... I like this one........................

10-20-2005, 07:07 PM	#13
Deputy Dawg Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Texas Gulf Coast Posts: 2,234	Re: North VS South... Yes it does............ __________________ LOCK and LOAD................................... GOD, GUNS,GUTS the three that keep us FREE!!!!

10-21-2005, 09:53 PM	#15
Glockgod V.I.P. Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 61	Re: North VS South... While were on the North/South topic would someone please tell me what to put on grits to make them edible? Going to Lexington next weekend and would LOVE to shock the rest of the carpool by eating a bowl of grits without gagging. ANY advice would be helpful. __________________ "Get yourself a Glock and lose that nickle plated sissy pistol" Tommy Lee Jones-US Marshals.

10-22-2005, 11:30 AM	#16
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	Re: North VS South... I slather mine with REAL Butter, Salt and lots of pepper. __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

10-22-2005, 01:27 PM	#17
llama.45 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: sewanee,tennessee Posts: 406	Re: North VS South... __________________ chris

10-22-2005, 03:32 PM	#18
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: North VS South... Yep, Marlin's got the ticket. Just think of grits as ground corn (which is what it is) and season it the same way. __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

10-22-2005, 03:47 PM	#19
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: North VS South... Yup, lots o salt and butter. Just like eatin an ear of corn! __________________

10-22-2005, 04:39 PM	#20
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: North VS South... BTW, make sure it's REAL grits (either "old fashioned" or "quick") and not that instant, single-serving crap. Oh, yeah.... cheese grits (preferably with garlic) are good too, especially with fried catfish! __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

10-22-2005, 08:29 PM	#21
Glockgod V.I.P. Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 61	Re: North VS South... Gosh, fried catfish, man oh man does that sound good! __________________ "Get yourself a Glock and lose that nickle plated sissy pistol" Tommy Lee Jones-US Marshals.

10-22-2005, 08:31 PM	#22
Huck Finn Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 836	Re: North VS South... QUOTE "Would someone please tell me what to put on grits to make them edible?" Yes... A BIG Porterhouse! __________________ Tiocfaidh Ár Lá ! "Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest"