The Next Ban...

[LurpyGeek]

Ban of High Capacity Assault Planes

The Coalition to End Aircraft Violence (formerly Aircraft Control inc), would like to take this opportunity to acquaint you with some little known facts.

* Large, high capacity aircraft are responsible for many deaths each year.
* These aircraft are incapable of any sort of aerobatics, and thus have no sporting use.
* These aircraft are manufactured with no child safety locks.
* They are manufactured by large companies, which are only interested in profit, and do not care about you the way that we do. They especially do not care about our children.
* There is no nationwide registry or licensing of passengers.
* These aircraft are often used by criminals.
* There is no consistent waiting period. In some localities, passengers are allowed to board, after waiting less than a day in line.
* These aircraft are the preferred tool of terrorists.
* Reasonable people, like ourselves, don’t like these aircraft.
* Police helicopters, and observation aircraft are often “outplaned” by these high capacity aircraft, making the jobs of street cops, more difficult.

We prefer to let the facts speak for themselves, but we will comment anyway. High capacity airplanes are certainly a threat to our safety, and particularly to the safety of our children. We need legislation to sharply reduce the numbers of these aircraft, and make them less accusable, particularly to our children. Eventually, these aircraft should be banned completely, except for the use of government, military, police, the UN, and people like us, who are better than the rest of you. Assault aircraft should be banned.

An assault aircraft is one, with any two of the following features:

* Has jet engines.
* Carries more than 10 passengers.
* Has a range of over 500 miles.
* Can be flown with the transponder off.
* Is capable of full instrument operation.
* Swept back wings (these look threatening, and militaristic).
* Retractable landing gear.
* Engines mounted on pods, outside of the fuselage. (something else that we don’t care for the look of).


Other desirable legislation
Along with the assault aircraft ban, we believe that there should be some reasonable legislation regarding small aircraft. This is something which all right thinking people should support, particularly our children.

* Aircraft should be drop tested, from a reasonable distance (40,000 feet or so, since this is the height from which they normally operate), onto concrete. Care should be taken that, during these tests, no harm is done to our children.
* Pilots should be licensed more carefully. Particularly our children.
* Small, light, two passenger trainer planes, such as the notorious Cessna 152, should be banned as Saturday Night Specials. These planes are not particularly dangerous, but their low cost makes them available to the common rabble. They are particularly dangerous to our children.
* To protect our children, schools should all be ”Plane Free Zones”, in which no plane may come closer than 100 miles.
* There should be zero tolerance for, toy planes, plane drawings, aircraft books, or speaking the word “plane” anywhere within the plane free zone. For the sake of our children.

For more information, or to give us money, please contact:
The Coalition to End Aircraft Violence
The Hundred Mother March
The Democratic National Committee
Union for a Socialist America

[Oneida Steve]

Good one!

[358 winchester]

[Bruce FLinch]

Good one Lurpy! If you thought that up, maybe you should think of a career in writing or comedy. I would have suggested Hollywood writing, but that would involve working w/ the Hollywood pukes. As a standup Comedian, at least you can speak your mind..( all in the name of Comedy )

[Nighthawk]

where can I sign the petition- if God had meant man to fly, He'd given
us wings.

[LurpyGeek]

Sorry, can't claim it myself. Found it on another forum, but with no name to claim.