The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi - The Firearms Forum

Pistolenschutze · 04-27-2006, 12:53 PM

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, anda Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Marlin · 04-27-2006, 12:59 PM

Marlin · 04-27-2006, 01:07 PM

Reminds me of the Priest and the Rabbi that were located across the street from each other and were hard nosed rivals at all they did!!

Each year the priest would be given a new Cadillac. On the following Sunday he would have a ceremony in order to bless the new car. The entire congregation would gather around while the priest sprinkled holy water and prayed over the car. The Rabbi would be livid each time since he was so jealous at not having the crowds around at the temple in any ceremony like that.

That same year the rabbi was fortunate to purchase a new Lincoln Town Car and decided that he would not be outdone by the good Father. Just before the Sabbath, following the Temple Services, they had the congregation crowd around the Lincoln in front. When all was quiet and prayers had been completed blessing the car, the Rabbi walked around back, leaned over and clipped off two inches of the tail pipes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

inplanotx · 04-27-2006, 01:46 PM

GROAN!

THUD!

southernshooter · 04-27-2006, 10:22 PM

I'd put a smiley but I'm laughin too hard to steady the mouse

wolfgang2000 · 04-28-2006, 10:04 AM

Gunfyter · 04-28-2006, 11:43 AM

Marlin, U B trin 2 take my job?

inplanotx · 04-28-2006, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gunfyter

Marlin, U B trin 2 take my job?

PLEASE!

04-27-2006, 12:53 PM	#1
Pistolenschutze Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 13,094	The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, anda Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation." Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising The Lord." They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start." __________________ --Pistolenschutze (Pistol Shooter) -->

04-27-2006, 12:59 PM	#2
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

04-27-2006, 01:07 PM	#3
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi Reminds me of the Priest and the Rabbi that were located across the street from each other and were hard nosed rivals at all they did!! Each year the priest would be given a new Cadillac. On the following Sunday he would have a ceremony in order to bless the new car. The entire congregation would gather around while the priest sprinkled holy water and prayed over the car. The Rabbi would be livid each time since he was so jealous at not having the crowds around at the temple in any ceremony like that. That same year the rabbi was fortunate to purchase a new Lincoln Town Car and decided that he would not be outdone by the good Father. Just before the Sabbath, following the Temple Services, they had the congregation crowd around the Lincoln in front. When all was quiet and prayers had been completed blessing the car, the Rabbi walked around back, leaned over and clipped off two inches of the tail pipes!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

04-27-2006, 01:46 PM	#4
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi GROAN! THUD! __________________

04-27-2006, 10:22 PM	#5
southernshooter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Deep South Mississippi Posts: 5,943	Re: The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi I'd put a smiley but I'm laughin too hard to steady the mouse __________________ Only you can see this

04-28-2006, 10:04 AM	#6
wolfgang2000 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Mountain Grove MO. Posts: 542	Re: The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi __________________ Guns are like Jello, there is always room for more!

04-28-2006, 11:43 AM	#7
Gunfyter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,956	Re: The Priest, the Preacher, and the Rabbi Marlin, U B trin 2 take my job? __________________ Anything worth shooting once, is worth shooting again. If it ain't broke, break it. Someone needs the work