a must read if you have a daughter - The Firearms Forum

358 winchester · 03-09-2009, 11:13 AM

Application for a date with my daughter

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form. 1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________
8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________
9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in
a serpentine fashion is advised. )

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

Signature (that means your name, moron)
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be
notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
________________________________________________
Just something to think about

4EvrLearning · 03-09-2009, 11:22 AM

omgosh, 358....that is a riot!!! I will be sharing that, for sure!

Now...how about one for our sons to keep them safe from the pushy little chicks out there? Sheeeeesh!!

USMC-03 · 03-09-2009, 11:23 AM

And I'll also make it very clear that I have no problem adding to my long list of felony convictions for violent offences; of course they'll have to find the body first...

TranterUK · 03-09-2009, 11:40 AM

Perfect, though polishing the Thompson when they arrive at the house also seems to work!

Pistolenschutze · 03-09-2009, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TranterUK

Perfect, though polishing the Thompson when they arrive at the house also seems to work!

I found cleaning one of my shotguns, preferably a double barrel side by side, worked quite well too, Tranter.

358 winchester · 03-09-2009, 11:48 AM

I had boys. I told them all, the father of that girl comes looking for you I am telling him where you are hiding simple as that , now you make your own choice!

Brian48 · 03-09-2009, 01:04 PM

Awesome

ryan_marine · 03-09-2009, 01:19 PM

Can I use this in the future? I know she is only 9 mo old right now. But I might need this in about 14-18 years from now.

Thanks

Ryan

armedandsafe · 03-09-2009, 03:39 PM

My daughter got all POed at me, once when she brought a boyfriend over and I was cleaning guns at the table.

The boyfriend sat down and spent all his time, until they had to leave to catch the movie, talking to me about hunting and shooting. Completely ignored the (most irritated) young lady.

Pops

TranterUK · 03-09-2009, 04:37 PM

I went to a wedding recently in which the groom in his speech mentioned his new father in law, who was 'almost as big a football fan as he was a real ale fan!'. 'How lucky can I get' he said, while his bride also looked on, a little irritated!

LurpyGeek · 03-09-2009, 06:50 PM

Growing up, my next door neighbor required a $50 deposit to take his daughter on a date.

I don't know if it bothered the daughter or the suitors more.

okeeemt · 03-10-2009, 10:37 AM

ryan marine. i agree mine is 2 weeks old and i have already made this list for anybody to take her on a date. also when we talk about scare tactics. i think about cleaning a double barrel 12 and looking thru the barrel at the guy and saying .." oh can i help you with anything" ...

TranterUK · 03-10-2009, 10:41 AM

I love what some of these guys with young daughters think they are going to do, If the daughters give them a chance.

What you need to worry about guys is what goeas on when your not around...trust me on that.

ckill1 · 03-10-2009, 10:47 AM

This is great! As the father of not 1, not 2, but 3 daughters I have been dreading the whole dating thing and wondering how I will handle it. I have several friends with 2-3 boys about the same age and have started threatening them early

!

Chris

Ed Wagner · 03-10-2009, 11:37 AM

My old neighbor had a simpler solution, he had 4 daughters, I have an older brother, we lived the width of a 20 acre field apart. His oldest daughter was about 1 year older than my brother, #2 about the same younger, #3 about 1 year older than me,#4 about 2years younger than me. My neighbor was also on the Draft Board for our county, brother graduated got drafted, I graduated got drafted, closest neighbor boy was VERY NERVOUS.

rosierita · 03-10-2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 358 winchester

I had boys. I told them all, the father of that girl comes looking for you I am telling him where you are hiding simple as that , now you make your own choice!

Quote:

10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______

you do know that list would disqualify 1 of your babies, right?!

358 winchester · 03-10-2009, 12:21 PM

All three of them but then I am not doing the shopping

They didn't listen to daddy

gdmoody · 03-10-2009, 12:25 PM

That is great. It sort of reminds me of the first date my daughter had. When the fellow came to the house, I invited him in and first showed him the trophies that I have for the Shooting Arts as I told him how much I love her. I then took a .45 ACP out of my pocket and asked him to spell his name for me so I could get it right on the bullet. Never had any problems with her being brought home late or anything, come to think of it.l

4EvrLearning · 03-10-2009, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TranterUK

I love what some of these guys with young daughters think they are going to do, If the daughters give them a chance.

What you need to worry about guys is what goeas on when your not around...trust me on that.

awwwww Tranter

There is only so much we can "control" as parents, that's for sure. We do the best we can...instill in them what we hope for them to take on as their own...and in my case, I pray a lot.

Being a parent is a humbling experience!!

rosierita · 03-10-2009, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 358 winchester

All three of them but then I am not doing the shopping

They didn't listen to daddy

you raised some rebels ron!

TranterUK · 03-10-2009, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4EvrLearning

in my case, I pray a lot.

With daughters it is to be recommended!

358 winchester · 03-10-2009, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosierita

you raised some rebels ron!

What y'all thought I was an angle

I am on of the original rebels

Popgunner · 03-10-2009, 03:32 PM

My daughters are 12, 18 & 21 years of age. The 18 year old brought a kid home before their date about a month ago. My daughter was laughing as she walked thru the door with him. She told me I had to hear what the rumor was going around about me in the area we live in that the boy had just told her. I asked him & he said he had heard it mentioned that Missy's dad could kill a man with his little finger. I held up my right hand that had a band aid on my little finger & told him it would have to be little finger on my left hand since I had just recently killed a guy with that finger. I assured him that would give him a sporting chance & they left with Missy laughing. He wasn't laughing & that was good

4EvrLearning · 03-10-2009, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TranterUK

With daughters [prayer] is to be recommended!

You got that right! However...my almost-15-year-old-son is pretty high on my prayer list, too. Trust me...I know how girls can be....*innocent hair flip*

sub-moa · 06-24-2012, 04:20 AM

When my oldest daughter was about 13 I told her "don't be in love with the first boy you bring home" and she of course asked "why". I said "because I will shoot him on the front porch step and leave his carcass there to rot".
Her eyes got large and she smiled a little smile then said "Oh daddy why would you do that". She looked on at me expecting me to say oh I was just kidding or something to that effect. But instead I said,"Why to deter any other boys that might follow behind him".

BTW she is now 26 never married and no children. Food for thought.
My youngest is now 16 and checks the front porch almost daily.

03-09-2009, 11:48 AM	#6
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	Re: a must read if you have a daughter I had boys. I told them all, the father of that girl comes looking for you I am telling him where you are hiding simple as that , now you make your own choice! __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand?

03-09-2009, 01:04 PM	#7
Brian48 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 133	Re: a must read if you have a daughter Awesome

03-09-2009, 01:19 PM	#8
ryan_marine Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 919	Re: a must read if you have a daughter Can I use this in the future? I know she is only 9 mo old right now. But I might need this in about 14-18 years from now. Thanks Ryan

03-09-2009, 06:50 PM	#11
LurpyGeek Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: UT Posts: 1,436	Re: a must read if you have a daughter Growing up, my next door neighbor required a $50 deposit to take his daughter on a date. I don't know if it bothered the daughter or the suitors more. __________________ Knowing is half the battle... Of course, the other half is violence.

03-10-2009, 10:37 AM	#12
okeeemt V.I.P. Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: okeechobee,fl Posts: 81	Re: a must read if you have a daughter ryan marine. i agree mine is 2 weeks old and i have already made this list for anybody to take her on a date. also when we talk about scare tactics. i think about cleaning a double barrel 12 and looking thru the barrel at the guy and saying .." oh can i help you with anything" ...

03-09-2009, 11:13 AM	#1
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	a must read if you have a daughter Application for a date with my daughter APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form. 1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________ 2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________ 3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________ 4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________ 5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________ 6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______ 7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________ 8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________ 9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______ 10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______ (If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ... 11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________ 12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________ 13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________ 15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________ 16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________ Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential (that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise). If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________ If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________ The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________ When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________ (Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. ) I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT. Signature (that means your name, moron) -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case. APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD ________________________________________________ Just something to think about __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand? -->

03-09-2009, 11:22 AM	#2
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	Re: a must read if you have a daughter omgosh, 358....that is a riot!!! I will be sharing that, for sure! Now...how about one for our sons to keep them safe from the pushy little chicks out there? Sheeeeesh!! __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)*

03-09-2009, 11:23 AM	#3
USMC-03 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Peoples Republic of the Pacific Northwest Posts: 1,825	Re: a must read if you have a daughter And I'll also make it very clear that I have no problem adding to my long list of felony convictions for violent offences; of course they'll have to find the body first... __________________ Let not the rifles of good and free men be reforged into plowshares, but may they rest in a place of honor; ready, well oiled and God willing unused. For if the price of peace becomes licking the boots of tyrants, then "To Arms!" I say, and may the fortunes of war smile upon patriots. - Fortes Fortuna Javat -

03-09-2009, 11:40 AM	#4
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: a must read if you have a daughter Perfect, though polishing the Thompson when they arrive at the house also seems to work! __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way!

03-09-2009, 03:39 PM	#9
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	Re: a must read if you have a daughter My daughter got all POed at me, once when she brought a boyfriend over and I was cleaning guns at the table. The boyfriend sat down and spent all his time, until they had to leave to catch the movie, talking to me about hunting and shooting. Completely ignored the (most irritated) young lady. Pops

03-09-2009, 04:37 PM	#10
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: a must read if you have a daughter I went to a wedding recently in which the groom in his speech mentioned his new father in law, who was 'almost as big a football fan as he was a real ale fan!'. 'How lucky can I get' he said, while his bride also looked on, a little irritated! __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way!

03-10-2009, 10:41 AM	#13
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: a must read if you have a daughter I love what some of these guys with young daughters think they are going to do, If the daughters give them a chance. What you need to worry about guys is what goeas on when your not around...trust me on that. __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way!

03-10-2009, 10:47 AM	#14
ckill1 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: SW Iowa Posts: 299	Re: a must read if you have a daughter This is great! As the father of not 1, not 2, but 3 daughters I have been dreading the whole dating thing and wondering how I will handle it. I have several friends with 2-3 boys about the same age and have started threatening them early! Chris __________________ People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

03-10-2009, 11:37 AM	#15
Ed Wagner V.I.P. Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: NW Ohio Posts: 162	Re: a must read if you have a daughter My old neighbor had a simpler solution, he had 4 daughters, I have an older brother, we lived the width of a 20 acre field apart. His oldest daughter was about 1 year older than my brother, #2 about the same younger, #3 about 1 year older than me,#4 about 2years younger than me. My neighbor was also on the Draft Board for our county, brother graduated got drafted, I graduated got drafted, closest neighbor boy was VERY NERVOUS.

03-10-2009, 12:21 PM	#17
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	Re: a must read if you have a daughter All three of them but then I am not doing the shopping They didn't listen to daddy __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand?

03-10-2009, 12:25 PM	#18
gdmoody Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Northeast Georgia Contributor Posts: 6,409	Re: a must read if you have a daughter That is great. It sort of reminds me of the first date my daughter had. When the fellow came to the house, I invited him in and first showed him the trophies that I have for the Shooting Arts as I told him how much I love her. I then took a .45 ACP out of my pocket and asked him to spell his name for me so I could get it right on the bullet. Never had any problems with her being brought home late or anything, come to think of it.l __________________ NRA Endowment Member GeorgiaCarry.Org Member Retired US Army Postal Worker Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin'.....author unknown (but obviously brilliant)

03-10-2009, 03:32 PM	#23
Popgunner Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Contributor Posts: 1,764	Re: a must read if you have a daughter My daughters are 12, 18 & 21 years of age. The 18 year old brought a kid home before their date about a month ago. My daughter was laughing as she walked thru the door with him. She told me I had to hear what the rumor was going around about me in the area we live in that the boy had just told her. I asked him & he said he had heard it mentioned that Missy's dad could kill a man with his little finger. I held up my right hand that had a band aid on my little finger & told him it would have to be little finger on my left hand since I had just recently killed a guy with that finger. I assured him that would give him a sporting chance & they left with Missy laughing. He wasn't laughing & that was good

06-24-2012, 04:20 AM	#25
sub-moa V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Kentucky Posts: 407	Re: a must read if you have a daughter When my oldest daughter was about 13 I told her "don't be in love with the first boy you bring home" and she of course asked "why". I said "because I will shoot him on the front porch step and leave his carcass there to rot". Her eyes got large and she smiled a little smile then said "Oh daddy why would you do that". She looked on at me expecting me to say oh I was just kidding or something to that effect. But instead I said,"Why to deter any other boys that might follow behind him". BTW she is now 26 never married and no children. Food for thought. My youngest is now 16 and checks the front porch almost daily. __________________ "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." Abraham Lincoln Last edited by sub-moa; 06-24-2012 at 04:23 AM..