Sarcastic answers to the question: "How many guns do you own?" - The Firearms Forum

Remington597 · 03-12-2004, 10:41 PM

When asked this question , have some fun, Here are examples when asked "How many guns do you own?"

.

1."More than the average American but less than David Coresh did"

2. "Two guns are better than one"

3. "Two, in case I miss with the first"

4. "I am a little drunk right now, and seeing double, so I have two guns, one for each of you". (Stolen from the movie Tombstone).

5. "I lost count when I converted the semiautos to full auto"

6. "When the local police department had a gun buyback amnesty, They had to ask the state for more money when I came in"

7. "Ted Nugent took photographs when he visited my house"

8. "I call the NRA and ask them for money"

9. "The History Channel regularly films in my living room"

10. "I have a special cabinet for my file at the BATF"

full legal disclosure to the Feds.
"The above is purely hypothetical and for entertainment purposes only, any resemblence to the the thread originator is purely coincidental. "

glocknut · 03-12-2004, 10:47 PM

Kind of a cross between 4 and 7.......

I'm a little drunk at teh moment....and me and nugent have both taken pictures of our we*^er's......well that is if a photocopier counts as a picture...

mike

03-13-2004, 07:10 AM

Yes, this is a gun in my pocket and I'm glad to see you. How long have you been a burglar.

Jim

IShootBack · 03-13-2004, 08:46 AM

How many?

3 or 4 short of enough.

ISB

Marlin · 03-13-2004, 09:57 AM

ISB, that's about right and a superb answer!!!!!!

IShootBack · 03-13-2004, 10:04 AM

Well Marlin, that's what I tell my wife. She does not believe me at all!!!

ISB

gwitness1 · 03-13-2004, 11:05 AM

I don't count 'em, if I did the wife would realize just how many there are lurking in the closets and safe.

gpostal · 03-13-2004, 12:26 PM

36 including the one i can't find

that one gets them everytime

merc · 03-13-2004, 08:32 PM

more than 1
but not enough.
They are like jello----always room for 1 more

gamachinist · 03-13-2004, 09:24 PM

I usually tell them
"I don't know,I haven't counted them lately".
The look on their face is one of those "priceless" moments.

Robert.

armedandsafe · 03-13-2004, 10:19 PM

Fewer than I want.

Pops

91/59 · 03-13-2004, 10:58 PM

My general answer is a combination of previous answers given here.

I say:

"More than I need, but less than I want".

hillbilly_joe · 03-14-2004, 05:03 PM

im 11 and i lost count after 4 and soon to add 1 more SxS that blackgun is sellin

mameral · 03-14-2004, 08:49 PM

I purchased my first one at 18 and later that day walked out of the store with it and then I had one and I bought another, however I traded that for two lesser and bought another one that was later registered and then I had to buy a gun safe, but there was quite a bit of free space so I traded a Blue Tick for a really nice one but then I got a heck of a deal on a long gun that was sold to me by an older woman who didn't want it any more...

You get the picture?

stash247 · 03-14-2004, 09:17 PM

Wait a minute...
You bought this stuff to shoot, right?
So, you shoot it, you clean it , you put it in the safe, the attic, under the bed, wherever...
Then you pick another one.
Remember the song about "Too much fun???"
Same deal. I got no adult supervision, just ex'es, so there ain't such a thing as too many guns, just, sometimes, limited storage.
Sure hope this helps...

kingjoey · 03-14-2004, 11:15 PM

How many? Including the zip guns?

ysacres · 03-14-2004, 11:27 PM

I have two paintball guns and a starter pistol

+ 37 more

Da Sarcastic Wiseacre

SouthernMoss · 03-14-2004, 11:46 PM

I have a hot glue gun .... does that count??

Oh, yeah, I have a caulk gun too!

rosierita · 03-15-2004, 11:59 AM

LOL! southernmoss!

i got a couple of those too!

45Smashemflat · 03-15-2004, 04:23 PM

My response is "Guns? what guns?" wink wink "Hey, we don't know whose listening, so NEVER ask me that again!!!"

Or I tell them I'll let them look over my inventory 3-ring binder, but first they need to put this here tin foil in their hat.

JohnK3 · 03-16-2004, 12:08 PM

"Well, let's just say they know me by name at the local gun store...."

danurve · 03-16-2004, 02:41 PM

"oh did you have some for sale?"

misiu · 03-16-2004, 06:00 PM

I'd tell you guys but on the off chance that my wife would read this I must refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself!!!

Marlin · 03-16-2004, 06:28 PM

You have a 5th Amendment up there?????

armedandsafe · 03-16-2004, 08:13 PM

5th Amendment or not,,,never admit to anything!

Pops

03-12-2004, 10:41 PM	#1
Remington597 Former Guest Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 3,201	Funny answers to the question: "How many guns do you own?" When asked this question , have some fun, Here are examples when asked "How many guns do you own?" . 1."More than the average American but less than David Coresh did" 2. "Two guns are better than one" 3. "Two, in case I miss with the first" 4. "I am a little drunk right now, and seeing double, so I have two guns, one for each of you". (Stolen from the movie Tombstone). 5. "I lost count when I converted the semiautos to full auto" 6. "When the local police department had a gun buyback amnesty, They had to ask the state for more money when I came in" 7. "Ted Nugent took photographs when he visited my house" 8. "I call the NRA and ask them for money" 9. "The History Channel regularly films in my living room" 10. "I have a special cabinet for my file at the BATF" full legal disclosure to the Feds. "The above is purely hypothetical and for entertainment purposes only, any resemblence to the the thread originator is purely coincidental. " --> Last edited by Remington597; 03-12-2004 at 11:15 PM..

03-12-2004, 10:47 PM	#2
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Kind of a cross between 4 and 7....... I'm a little drunk at teh moment....and me and nugent have both taken pictures of our we*^er's......well that is if a photocopier counts as a picture... mike __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone....

03-13-2004, 08:46 AM	#4
IShootBack Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Virginia Posts: 2,306	How many? 3 or 4 short of enough. ISB __________________ "The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name." Exodus15:3

03-13-2004, 09:57 AM	#5
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	ISB, that's about right and a superb answer!!!!!! Attached Images __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

03-13-2004, 10:04 AM	#6
IShootBack Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Virginia Posts: 2,306	Well Marlin, that's what I tell my wife. She does not believe me at all!!! ISB __________________ "The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name." Exodus15:3

03-13-2004, 07:10 AM	#3
Gunguy Adnanced Senior Member Posts: n/a	Yes, this is a gun in my pocket and I'm glad to see you. How long have you been a burglar. Jim

03-13-2004, 11:05 AM	#7
gwitness1 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: washington state Posts: 20	I don't count 'em, if I did the wife would realize just how many there are lurking in the closets and safe. __________________ democracy: the art of running the circus from the monkey cage

03-13-2004, 12:26 PM	#8
gpostal Former Guest Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 4,552	36 including the one i can't find that one gets them everytime

03-13-2004, 08:32 PM	#9
merc V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Pelham, NH Posts: 309	more than 1 but not enough. They are like jello----always room for 1 more __________________ Merc Living without Liberty is not Living

03-13-2004, 09:24 PM	#10
gamachinist V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Locust Grove GA Posts: 213	I usually tell them "I don't know,I haven't counted them lately". The look on their face is one of those "priceless" moments. Robert.

03-13-2004, 10:19 PM	#11
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	Fewer than I want. Pops

03-13-2004, 10:58 PM	#12
91/59 Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 26	My general answer is a combination of previous answers given here. I say: "More than I need, but less than I want". __________________ I don't believe atheists exist.

03-14-2004, 05:03 PM	#13
hillbilly_joe V.I.P. Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Brazoria, Texas Posts: 118	lost count im 11 and i lost count after 4 and soon to add 1 more SxS that blackgun is sellin

03-14-2004, 08:49 PM	#14
mameral V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Northern California Posts: 152	I purchased my first one at 18 and later that day walked out of the store with it and then I had one and I bought another, however I traded that for two lesser and bought another one that was later registered and then I had to buy a gun safe, but there was quite a bit of free space so I traded a Blue Tick for a really nice one but then I got a heck of a deal on a long gun that was sold to me by an older woman who didn't want it any more... You get the picture?

03-14-2004, 09:17 PM	#15
stash247 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Central Texas Posts: 2,815	Wait a minute... You bought this stuff to shoot, right? So, you shoot it, you clean it , you put it in the safe, the attic, under the bed, wherever... Then you pick another one. Remember the song about "Too much fun???" Same deal. I got no adult supervision, just ex'es, so there ain't such a thing as too many guns, just, sometimes, limited storage. Sure hope this helps... __________________ Don't start no s**t and there won't be none, Terry

03-14-2004, 11:15 PM	#16
kingjoey V.I.P. Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: AZ Posts: 290	How many? Including the zip guns?

03-14-2004, 11:27 PM	#17
ysacres Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Wazzu WA Posts: 2,413	I have two paintball guns and a starter pistol + 37 more Da Sarcastic Wiseacre __________________ Last edited by ysacres; 03-14-2004 at 11:29 PM..

03-14-2004, 11:46 PM	#18
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	I have a hot glue gun .... does that count?? Oh, yeah, I have a caulk gun too! __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

03-15-2004, 11:59 AM	#19
rosierita Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: South Carolina Posts: 5,218	LOL! southernmoss! i got a couple of those too! __________________

03-15-2004, 04:23 PM	#20
45Smashemflat Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,494	My response is "Guns? what guns?" wink wink "Hey, we don't know whose listening, so NEVER ask me that again!!!" Or I tell them I'll let them look over my inventory 3-ring binder, but first they need to put this here tin foil in their hat.

03-16-2004, 12:08 PM	#21
JohnK3 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,636	"Well, let's just say they know me by name at the local gun store...."

03-16-2004, 02:41 PM	#22
danurve V.I.P. Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Syracuse (central) NY Posts: 195	"oh did you have some for sale?" __________________ huntNY.US In Memory of Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Success is a well placed shot, don't screw it up.

03-16-2004, 06:00 PM	#23
misiu V.I.P. Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: British Columbia Posts: 158	Guns I'd tell you guys but on the off chance that my wife would read this I must refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself!!! __________________ Good hunting and shooting: John

03-16-2004, 06:28 PM	#24
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	You have a 5th Amendment up there????? Attached Images __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

03-16-2004, 08:13 PM	#25
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	5th Amendment or not,,,never admit to anything! Pops