THEY KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU!!!! - The Firearms Forum

rooter · 01-07-2004, 04:34 AM

The day is coming when . . .
>
> Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
>
> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."
>
> Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"
>
> Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
> 6102049998-45-54610."
>
> Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742
> Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number
> over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.
> Which number are you calling from, sir?"
>
> Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
>
> Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir. I knew the number you
> were calling from - just checking you out for lying."
>
> Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
> Special pizzas..."
>
> Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
>
> Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
>
> Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high
> blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care
> provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
>
> Customer: "Damn! What do you recommend, then?"
>
> Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure
> you'll like it."
>
> Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
>
> Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
> local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
>
> Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,then.
> What's the damage?"
>
> Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
> sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."
>
> Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
>
> Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
> Your credit card balance is over its limit."
>
> Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
> gets here."
>
> Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
> overdrawn."
>
> Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
> How long will it take?"
>
> Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
> minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
> you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be
> a little awkward."
>
> Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"
>
> Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments,so your
> car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd
> be using it."
>
> Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"
>
> Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
> July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."
>
> Customer: (Speechless)
>
> Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
>
> Customer: "No, nothing. Oh yeah, don't forget the two free liters of
> Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."
>
> Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
> from offering free soda to diabetics
>

Marlin · 01-07-2004, 07:40 AM

If we don't do something to stay the course in saving our wonderful Constitution, it is here sooner than anyone can imagine.

rooter · 01-08-2004, 04:27 AM

Marlin, I've noted that you and Moss are from Mississippi--that you seem to have a liking for the railroad locomotives--is that your hobby? In the Navy Seabees, my rating was called a UT--UTILITIESMAN and part of my training was boiler operations---of course we didn't operate the steamers on locomotives but we learned about them--- hortizonal, fire tube boilers we had under military contracts were exactly the same design as the old train steamers. Large, permanent military bases, where I was stationed, had water tube boilers like they have on naval ships of the line. Yesterday, I called into a 1-800 number about my Milwaukee Cordless drill I got back on Fathers Day---batteries wouldn't charge--I talked to a lady from Mississippi---right over the line from Memphis she said---I told her about our Seabee base down on the coast at Gulfport---during the mid 60's, Gulfport was recommissioned and I did a lot of TDY duties teaching down there--met so many nice folks---didn't have barracks space for senior enlisted so we lived out in civilian quarters---Boloxi was a favorite spot---I listened to Jayne Mansfield at one of the beach clubs the night she was killed going back to New Orleans. The lady at the 1-800 number and I visited for the longest time yesterday--more than a few times I attempted to excuse myself, but seems she found my BS stories interesting--her name was Juliana---hey Marlin--I just tend to run off at the mouth at the slightest opportunity--forgive me. Chief

SouthernMoss · 01-08-2004, 10:25 AM

Quote:

--that you seem to have a liking for the railroad locomotives--

Uh oh, Chief, you've started it now!

I'm sure Marlin will be along any time now to regale you with stories of his continuing love affair with the steam locomotive.

rooter · 01-08-2004, 12:45 PM

I knew an old RR song as a kid--it was about Casey Jones---the lyrics as I recall them went kind like this---NOPE, THOUGHT BETTER OF THAT OLD SONG---TOO RANK!!!Chief

Marlin · 01-10-2004, 08:53 PM

Chief,

Check your PM incoming file.

Hope 69/70 · 01-10-2004, 10:42 PM

Chief,
I can remember a lot of the old time loggers telling stories about how they worked on those steam donkeys in the logging woods.

Hope

rooter · 01-11-2004, 03:51 AM

The old steam engines were certainly part of AMERICANA---on my mothers side, her mother (Florence Bestt) had about a dozen brother living in the middle America---many of them were steam engine operators who traveled the grain threshing circuits thru Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas---days before the grain combines were invented---steam engine explosions and fires were very common in that day for there was no governmental saftey organizations such as OSHA or insurance companies. Many operators were killed including many of her brothers---I recalled seeing aged old photos of those rigs---great tall things with wide steel wheels and smoke stacks---sometimes those rigs, including the steamers would be hauled overland by mule trains---out on the prarie they couldn't find fuel but they could find oats and other grains to fuel the mules. The brand names such as Hart-Parr, McCormick Derring, Allis-Chalmers seem to be names I recall. I still remember in my young life rushing out to watch a plane overhead---I used to shoot my first BB gun that was given to me by a neighbor at the moon---how long do you remember things like that---when you first began separating your playmates by gender because the girls were softer and smelled differently than your buddies---how their long hair would get in you face when you were playing, Tug-the-Rope----how they cried so easy---also when you began noticing that blue eyes glistened from the tears different than bwon eyes---. Chief

01-07-2004, 04:34 AM	#1
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,340	THEY KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU!!!! The day is coming when . . . > > Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..." > > Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." > > Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" > > Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's > 6102049998-45-54610." > > Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 > Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number > over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. > Which number are you calling from, sir?" > > Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" > > Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir. I knew the number you > were calling from - just checking you out for lying." > > Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat > Special pizzas..." > > Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." > > Customer: "Whaddya mean?" > > Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high > blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care > provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." > > Customer: "Damn! What do you recommend, then?" > > Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure > you'll like it." > > Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" > > Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your > local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." > > Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,then. > What's the damage?" > > Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, > sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99." > > Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." > > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. > Your credit card balance is over its limit." > > Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver > gets here." > > Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's > overdrawn." > > Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. > How long will it take?" > > Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 > minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while > you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be > a little awkward." > > Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?" > > Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments,so your > car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd > be using it." > > Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!" > > Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a > July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop." > > Customer: (Speechless) > > Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" > > Customer: "No, nothing. Oh yeah, don't forget the two free liters of > Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas." > > Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us > from offering free soda to diabetics > __________________ -->

01-07-2004, 07:40 AM	#2
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	If we don't do something to stay the course in saving our wonderful Constitution, it is here sooner than anyone can imagine. __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

01-08-2004, 04:27 AM	#3
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,340	Marlin, I've noted that you and Moss are from Mississippi--that you seem to have a liking for the railroad locomotives--is that your hobby? In the Navy Seabees, my rating was called a UT--UTILITIESMAN and part of my training was boiler operations---of course we didn't operate the steamers on locomotives but we learned about them--- hortizonal, fire tube boilers we had under military contracts were exactly the same design as the old train steamers. Large, permanent military bases, where I was stationed, had water tube boilers like they have on naval ships of the line. Yesterday, I called into a 1-800 number about my Milwaukee Cordless drill I got back on Fathers Day---batteries wouldn't charge--I talked to a lady from Mississippi---right over the line from Memphis she said---I told her about our Seabee base down on the coast at Gulfport---during the mid 60's, Gulfport was recommissioned and I did a lot of TDY duties teaching down there--met so many nice folks---didn't have barracks space for senior enlisted so we lived out in civilian quarters---Boloxi was a favorite spot---I listened to Jayne Mansfield at one of the beach clubs the night she was killed going back to New Orleans. The lady at the 1-800 number and I visited for the longest time yesterday--more than a few times I attempted to excuse myself, but seems she found my BS stories interesting--her name was Juliana---hey Marlin--I just tend to run off at the mouth at the slightest opportunity--forgive me. Chief __________________

01-08-2004, 12:45 PM	#5
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,340	I knew an old RR song as a kid--it was about Casey Jones---the lyrics as I recall them went kind like this---NOPE, THOUGHT BETTER OF THAT OLD SONG---TOO RANK!!!Chief __________________

01-10-2004, 08:53 PM	#6
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	Chief, Check your PM incoming file. __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

01-10-2004, 10:42 PM	#7
Hope 69/70 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 2,549	Chief, I can remember a lot of the old time loggers telling stories about how they worked on those steam donkeys in the logging woods. Hope __________________ WAC - HQ. USARV / G1, Long Binh - Feb 69 - Feb 70

01-11-2004, 03:51 AM	#8
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,340	The old steam engines were certainly part of AMERICANA---on my mothers side, her mother (Florence Bestt) had about a dozen brother living in the middle America---many of them were steam engine operators who traveled the grain threshing circuits thru Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas---days before the grain combines were invented---steam engine explosions and fires were very common in that day for there was no governmental saftey organizations such as OSHA or insurance companies. Many operators were killed including many of her brothers---I recalled seeing aged old photos of those rigs---great tall things with wide steel wheels and smoke stacks---sometimes those rigs, including the steamers would be hauled overland by mule trains---out on the prarie they couldn't find fuel but they could find oats and other grains to fuel the mules. The brand names such as Hart-Parr, McCormick Derring, Allis-Chalmers seem to be names I recall. I still remember in my young life rushing out to watch a plane overhead---I used to shoot my first BB gun that was given to me by a neighbor at the moon---how long do you remember things like that---when you first began separating your playmates by gender because the girls were softer and smelled differently than your buddies---how their long hair would get in you face when you were playing, Tug-the-Rope----how they cried so easy---also when you began noticing that blue eyes glistened from the tears different than bwon eyes---. Chief __________________