mustard - The Firearms Forum

fedupdon · 05-06-2009, 07:07 AM

This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father).

I Love Mustard

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side..

Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my
tongue protruding out.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine
shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my
wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard
Poupon.''

ampaterry · 05-06-2009, 08:08 AM

Thanks, Don.

You have just destroyed my desire to EVER put mustard on anything ever again - - -

LOL

4EvrLearning · 05-06-2009, 02:07 PM

rofl!!! Great story....love the visuals!

Nighthawk · 05-06-2009, 07:47 PM

Thanks, that was good.

muddober · 05-06-2009, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Thanks, that was good.

No it was NOT good, but it was very funny.

05-06-2009, 07:07 AM	#1
fedupdon V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 307	mustard This is a true story. If you have children you will probably relate to this father). I Love Mustard As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.. Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,' she said. I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue. Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife Said, 'Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon.'' -->

05-06-2009, 08:08 AM	#2
ampaterry TFF Admin Staff Chaplain Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: West Tennessee Contributor Posts: 6,277	Re: mustard Thanks, Don. You have just destroyed my desire to EVER put mustard on anything ever again - - - LOL __________________ A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders. Larry Elder

05-06-2009, 02:07 PM	#3
4EvrLearning Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Left Coast Posts: 1,449	Re: mustard rofl!!! Great story....love the visuals! __________________ *"Until God is finished with me, I am immortal." Jonathan Edwards, American Theologian (1703-1758)*

05-06-2009, 07:47 PM	#4
Nighthawk Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,330	Re: mustard Thanks, that was good. __________________ Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives." --John Adams, letter to Benjamin Rush, April 18, 1808 NRA Life TSRA Life GOA Member