MORE GOVERNMENT HELP COMING!! - The Firearms Forum

petesusn · 02-16-2010, 11:22 AM

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much s**t (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of s**t they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough s**t, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the s**t you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Marlin T · 02-16-2010, 10:02 PM

Outstanding

red14 · 02-16-2010, 10:18 PM

Always a fine report.

Thank you Pete. Now I know where that pain in my extreme lower back is coming from.

jack404 · 02-17-2010, 01:48 AM

i'll send you all some vasalene

petesusn · 02-17-2010, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jack404

i'll send you all some vasalene

Send lots of it Jack. Because there are many in the U.S. who are just going to bend over and take it.

wpage · 02-17-2010, 04:23 AM

You forgot the supplemental program. Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)

02-16-2010, 11:22 AM	#1
petesusn Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: San Joaquin Valley, Ca. Posts: 614	MORE GOVERNMENT HELP COMING!! Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much st (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of st they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough st, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the st you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. __________________ Self Defense: A basic human right The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which was created 130 years later, in 1917. A man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile...can respond with a great deal of pride and satisfaction, "I served in the U. S. Navy." John F. Kennedy VFW Life Member -->

02-16-2010, 10:02 PM	#2
Marlin T Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New Mexico Posts: 7,857	Re: MORE GOVERNMENT HELP COMING!! Outstanding __________________ "But the simple truth--born of experience--is that tyranny thrives best where government need not fear the wrath of an armed people." Judge Alex Kozinski - United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government. - Thomas Paine Did you read todays GOOD shooting? >>>KEEPANDBEARARMS.COM <<<

02-16-2010, 10:18 PM	#3
red14 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: N FLA Posts: 3,914	Re: MORE GOVERNMENT HELP COMING!! Always a fine report. Thank you Pete. Now I know where that pain in my extreme lower back is coming from. __________________ I never argue, I state my opinion, and support my position.

02-17-2010, 01:48 AM	#4
jack404 Former Guest Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Australia Contributor Posts: 17,622	Re: MORE GOVERNMENT HELP COMING!! i'll send you all some vasalene

02-17-2010, 04:23 AM	#6
wpage Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,471	Re: MORE GOVERNMENT HELP COMING!! You forgot the supplemental program. Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) __________________ "You shall recieve power" Acts 1:8 W