Stuff to Live By???

TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 210
(6/7/01 1:09:27 pm)
| Del All Stuff to Live By???
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"Stuff To Live By?"


Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and
some days you're the statue.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot
at tax collectors, and miss.

Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a
water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you're not part of the solution, be part of the
problem!

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency
to be vague.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try
kick boxing.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat
until caught. Then lie.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never eat yellow snow.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same
time, because then you don't have a leg to
stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your
time and annoys the pig.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so
sleep late.

There are very few personal problems that
cannot be solved through a suitable application
of high explosives.

When everything's coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.



TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 213
(6/7/01 1:36:17 pm)
| Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
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A little crude..posted as I received it. We might remember this
proceedure sometime whenever we need a
self-attitude-adjustment.

Sharon
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Are you aware of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole?

It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a
shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't
bring a tear to your eye.

oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1101
(6/7/01 5:40:11 pm)
| Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
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Can't believe a woman such as yourself would post such
trash...................funny as hell...............lmao!!!!

Donna

Edited by: oneknight at: 6/7/01 6:42:28 pm

TShooters
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 214
(6/7/01 7:17:41 pm)
| Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
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Donna,

I thought it was funny, too...
And will remember it next time my disposition is
not the best...will just put a smile on my face
and think good thoughts......'cuz.....I don't wanna
go thru the "proceedure"!!

Sharon



oneknight
Moderator
Posts: 1104
(6/7/01 7:35:07 pm)
| Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
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Oh No!!!!!!!!!! We need to talk.......

LarryJK
Senior Chief Moderator III
Posts: 104
(6/7/01 8:02:27 pm)
| Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
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Funny...loved it!

dap22
Senior Chief Moderator II
Posts: 684
(6/7/01 8:07:09 pm)
| Del
ezSupporter
Re: Stuff to Live By???
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Geez Sharon......great trash.....love it, especially the last statement about pulling a hair from your ass bringing a tear to the eye........ Is it true?

Edited by: dap22 at: 6/7/01 9:25:48 pm

Mithrandir
V.I.P. Member
Posts: 83
(6/7/01 8:26:00 pm)
| Del Re: Stuff to Live By???
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"anal optic nerve"



YOU AWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD.... I just launched my coffee into it!!!!!!


THAT... is going to the office with me tomorrow!!!!


that was great!!!!



out...