Smart-Azz Answers - The Firearms Forum

Gunfyter · 03-01-2006, 10:37 AM

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened

his trench coat and flashed at her.

Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

your stub."

*****************

Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but

she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

*******************

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop

said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the

cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a

ticket.

*******************

Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead

of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to

the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of

gas."

*******************

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury

or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other

excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What

would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter

sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was

restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head

and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your

other hand."

inplanotx · 03-01-2006, 11:36 AM

Marlin · 03-01-2006, 11:47 AM

Now, dat's FUNNY!!!!!!!!

SouthernMoss · 03-01-2006, 11:55 AM

Country101 · 03-01-2006, 02:47 PM

Marlin T · 03-01-2006, 10:03 PM

She said, use your other hand

wolfgang2000 · 03-01-2006, 11:03 PM

03-01-2006, 10:03 PM	#6
Marlin T Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New Mexico Posts: 7,857	Re: Smart-Azz Answers She said, use your other hand Attached Images __________________ "But the simple truth--born of experience--is that tyranny thrives best where government need not fear the wrath of an armed people." Judge Alex Kozinski - United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government. - Thomas Paine Did you read todays GOOD shooting? >>>KEEPANDBEARARMS.COM <<<

03-01-2006, 11:03 PM	#7
wolfgang2000 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Mountain Grove MO. Posts: 542	Re: Smart-Azz Answers __________________ Guns are like Jello, there is always room for more!

03-01-2006, 10:37 AM	#1
Gunfyter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,956	Smart-Azz Answers Smart Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed at her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." *************** Smart Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." *************** Smart Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. *************** Smart Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." ***************** #1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005....................... A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." __________________ Anything worth shooting once, is worth shooting again. If it ain't broke, break it. Someone needs the work -->

03-01-2006, 11:36 AM	#2
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: Smart-Azz Answers __________________

03-01-2006, 11:47 AM	#3
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: Smart-Azz Answers *Now, dat's FUNNY!!!!!!!!* __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

03-01-2006, 11:55 AM	#4
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: Smart-Azz Answers __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

03-01-2006, 02:47 PM	#5
Country101 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dardanelle, AR Contributor Posts: 2,028	Re: Smart-Azz Answers __________________ Gainfully employed= shooting somebody elses bullets and getting paid for it Country101