The Lark Program - The Firearms Forum

satellite66 · 03-14-2006, 07:01 AM

If it works well they could expand it to all the liberal favorites. Rapists, pedophiles and death row inmates.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Lady from Boston wrote a lot of letters to the
White House complaining about the treatment of a
captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in
Guantanamo Bay & demanding an answer. She finally
received back the following reply:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly
criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al
Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo
Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters
seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear
here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn
that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like
yourself, we are creating a new division of the
Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the
"Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers"
program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new L.A.R.K.
program, we have decided to place one terrorist under
your personal care. Your personal detainee has been
selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily
armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed
Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be
cared for pursuant to the standards you personally
demanded in your letter of complaint.
It will likely be necessary for you to hire some
assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections
to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are
commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in
your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we
hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his
"attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these
character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing
these problems as mere cultural differences. We
understand that you plan to offer counseling and home
schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in
hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with
such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We
advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these
skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at
making a wide variety of explosive devices from common
household products, so you may wish to keep those items
locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend
him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your
daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a
subhuman form of property. This is a particularly
sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show
violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with
the new dress code that he will recommend as more
appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy
the anonymity offered by the burkha over time.

Just remember that it is all part of "respecting
his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't
that how you put it? Thanks again for your
letters. We truly appreciate it when folks like you
keep us informed of the proper way to do our job.
You take good care of Ahmed - and remember ...
we'll be watching.

P.S. Senator Harry Reid & Congresswoman Nancy
Pelosi have just informed us that it is breaking
the law to watch you sooo ---
Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,

Don Rumsfeld

Marlin · 03-14-2006, 09:25 AM

Sure would help to alleviate our liberal mental disorder problems !!!!

SouthernMoss · 03-14-2006, 08:49 PM

Bruce FLinch · 03-14-2006, 09:54 PM

Put it on the ballot...I'll vote for it!

geezler · 03-15-2006, 07:44 AM

Hope you don't mind but i am going to copy this.

inplanotx · 03-15-2006, 10:42 AM

armedandsafe · 03-18-2006, 07:53 PM

Lessee, which would be more difficult to spot as a poential danger to the community?

1. Liberal, non-thinking, feel-goodly matron.

2. Turbaned, armed, shifty-eyed, arab with packages taped to his belly.

3. It doesn't matter, since number 1 is no longer with us.

Pops

03-14-2006, 07:01 AM	#1
satellite66 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Central NJ Posts: 2,068	The Lark Program If it works well they could expand it to all the liberal favorites. Rapists, pedophiles and death row inmates. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Lady from Boston wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay & demanding an answer. She finally received back the following reply: The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. 20016 Dear Concerned Citizen, Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new L.A.R.K. program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burkha over time. Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it? Thanks again for your letters. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job. You take good care of Ahmed - and remember ... we'll be watching. P.S. Senator Harry Reid & Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi have just informed us that it is breaking the law to watch you sooo --- Good luck! Cordially, your friend, Don Rumsfeld __________________ “Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not” — Thomas Jefferson. "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948 -->

03-14-2006, 09:25 AM	#2
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: The Lark Program Sure would help to alleviate our liberal mental disorder problems !!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

03-14-2006, 08:49 PM	#3
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: The Lark Program __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

03-14-2006, 09:54 PM	#4
Bruce FLinch Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point Posts: 5,016	Re: The Lark Program Put it on the ballot...I'll vote for it! __________________ A bad day @ the Range, is better than a good day @ work.

03-15-2006, 07:44 AM	#5
geezler V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 253	Re: The Lark Program Hope you don't mind but i am going to copy this.

03-15-2006, 10:42 AM	#6
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: The Lark Program __________________

03-18-2006, 07:53 PM	#7
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	Re: The Lark Program Lessee, which would be more difficult to spot as a poential danger to the community? 1. Liberal, non-thinking, feel-goodly matron. 2. Turbaned, armed, shifty-eyed, arab with packages taped to his belly. 3. It doesn't matter, since number 1 is no longer with us. Pops